


Desolate

by GlitterCake20



Series: the mountain and the wolf [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alpha Liam Dunbar, Alpha and Beta, Anchors, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Black Wolf - Freeform, Bonding, Camping, Claiming Bites, Colorado, Crying, Cuddling, Demi Theo Raeken, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Feelings, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Full Shifts, Full shift Theo, Fun, Grief, Guilt, Hair Washing, Isolation, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Bites, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Pack, Panic Attacks, Personal Growth, Protective Liam, Protective Theo, Red Eyes Liam Dunbar, Scenting, Self-Discovery, Showers, Slow Burn, Snow, Snow Fight, Soft Boys, Soft Theo, Steve the Spider, Top Liam Dunbar, Top Theo Raeken, Touch-Starved, Werewolf Theo Raeken, White Wolf - Freeform, Who the fuck made the pasta!?, Wolves in Snow, almost kisses, and a little bit of magic, bed sharing, cabin in the mountains, caring liam, cheek kiss, cup sharing, hand holding, long lost lovers, self love, shower, soft touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-03-18 05:43:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13675443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterCake20/pseuds/GlitterCake20
Summary: Liam involuntarily becomes an Alpha. He refuses accept the new wolf and instead runs away, leaving Beacon Hills behind, and takes to a small cabin in the Colorado mountains for refuge, mostly from himself.  He subdues the alpha wolf in him... Until one day when he has absolutely no choice but to let it out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saudade -profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves.

High up on the twin mountains of Colorado, nestled between trees and greenery and an endless blanket of snow, sat a small cabin. It faced the silver lake and neighbouring mountain, welcoming afternoon sun and shielding from most of the freeze the winter winds brought with it.

 

Liam relaxed back into the rocking chair with a warm cup of hot chocolate watching tiny crystals flutter down from the sky. He had nothing more to do, he made a quick trip to the market in the morning, picked up supplies for the rest of the month, he collected some more wood before the snow could dampen it again and tucked it away in the back of the cabin. He’d gotten dinner for one started and did most of the chores for the day. The fire crackled inside and the only other sound audible for miles were the birds chirping their goodnight songs as the sun set behind the mountain.

 

He looked at the words carved into the wooden rail before him, smiled bitterly, and tried pushing away the memories, of…well, of everything. Scott…Malia…Mason _…. Him _.__

 

 _People only feel one emotion at a time Liam -_ Theo Raeken’s voice still rung clear in his mind, soothing and calming. He repeated it over and over whenever he needed to be brought back, when grief and guilt and sorrow drowned him from the inside and he wanted the world to swallow him whole.

 

One emotion, one voice that anchored him and kept him from losing himself to his emotions, to focus him on the only one he could stomach - complete and utter loneliness. Loneliness that he had grown to love and accept if it meant the people he loved were safe, far away from him.

 

 _“Where were you Liam??”_ He heard the alpha’s mate cry, her voice brittle and broken. Her hardened façade melted away and hopelessness took over her being as she dropped to her knees…screaming. Did she ever stop? Not in Liam’s mind, in there she screamed every night he closed his eyes.

 

Liam clenched his eyes shut, jolting upright, body shaking as he fought the memories. Futile attempts to swallow down the lump in his throat that threatened to choke him. He wished it would sometimes. It ate at him, sucking the breath right out of his lungs but always leaving him alive. He placed his mug down and reached, with trembling fingers, for the engravings in the wooden rail, the ones he carved himself.

 

_Only one at a time Liam…breathe. Just one._

 

His fingers trailed over the carved out letters, breathing in the frozen air as the rest of his senses honed in on his surroundings. The mountains… _closer_ …the woods… _closer_ … the lake… _closer still_ … the cabin. Safe and small and secret. Nothing around for miles and miles. He exhaled a white puff of air. 

 

_Say it Liam…_

 

 _Loneliness._ And? _Isolation_. _Good_. And finally his mind shut down enough to drown out Malia’s screams. For now.

 

Liam turned, moving toward the cabin door when he caught his reflection in the window, seeing the crimson burn of his eyes, but he denied it instantly and it faded with a sigh.  _I will never._ He scolded the wolf in him, pulling the door open and stepping inside the warmth of the little shelter.

 

He pulled the pot from the fire, freshly baked bread inside, and filled his mug with orange juice. There’s only one chair at his small table, one of everything, reminding himself that he is in fact very alone, there’s no one for him to hurt or to let down. As far as he knew they’re all safe in Beacon Hills and for all they knew he was dead. And that in itself was much more comforting than reality.

 

The wolf inside always chose the most inopportune moments to remind Liam of what he’d done. Bread should have no significant meaning but yet, as he butters the one side, watching it melt and seep into the dough, it starts….

 

_Kind of like Scott’s blood that night-_

 

“No!” Liam fists came down hard on the table and he tried swallowing down the guilt in his throat once again. His voice echoed through the tiny space and he realized that was the first word he had said all day. “No…” a tear dropped down into his plate and he begged his mind to stop, to just be quiet.

 

“Please… please just let me breathe this time.” he whispered into the nothingness and his jaw quivered as his mind hit play.

 

_-There is a deafening scream from somewhere in the woods, it pierces through the night air. The banshee. No. Scott sinks to the ground just as Liam reaches him, his eyes already void. Liam can Scott that he barely recognizes him. His body skids in underneath the alpha’s, catching his head just before it hits the ground. “I’m here Scott, I’m here, are you okay…”_

_The blood seeping through his jeans tells him that nothing is okay. “Scott, shift! Shift!” Liam shakes him violently. There are too many holes in his chest, his neck, the side of his head. Way too many. There are voices around him, and then that one voice that will never leave him comes…hers. “Where were you Liam??”_

_Scott responds to her, his eyes searching. Malia holds his face, begging, crying, trying to take pain that is no longer there. Stiles drops down next to them, taking his friend’s hand, patting up and down his body, not sure where to settle. “No no no, come on Scotty, come on!”_

_There are whispered I love you’s and muffled sobs. The alpha’s breath stutters, once… twice…and then the fires in his eyes are put out by the light rain that begins to fall. It’s in that moment that Liam roars and that same fire burns into his body through Scott’s skin where he holds him, settling somewhere deep within him._

 

_They’re all left standing covered in blood and mud that not even the rain can wash away, feeling the final link crumble as Liam lay their alpha down. Detached, lost and torn apart. -_

 

 _“Remember what Scott’s goal had been all along,” … Theo said, “to keep people alive.”_ But he couldn’t even keep himself alive.  _Liam_ couldn’t keep him alive.

 

Liam swooped his hand across the table, sending the plate of bread flying. It shattered against the wall. His only plate. Liam sighed, dropping his hands at his sides, too tired to be angry with himself, too broken to care. He pushed the chair back and stripped his clothes off. It was the only time the cold never really bothered Liam, soothing to the burning rage beneath his skin. He made his way to his bedroom, blowing out the candles in the hallway.

 

The world tipped round him as he laid down, waiting for the attack to come. All the voices and screams, the smell of phantom blood filling his nostrils just like it had that fateful night, the taste of his own tears on his lips. That night not even Theo’s scent was enough to overpower it. He waited for the wolf to howl as he demanded to be acknowledged, to scream for the alpha spark to be ignited, for the fight of control to begin as it always did on nights like these, whenever he remembered. These nights were the worst. He held on to the loneliness. He held on to the voice, the memory, the anchor. _Theo._ _And then the fight began and the wolf ripped his insides apart, clawing at what was left of his heart with painful memories and regret, until there was nothing left to bleed but tears._

 

 

Liam inherited the alpha spark the night Scott passed away. As Deaton explained it - a true alpha’s first biological beta would inherit the gene should the alpha die. It was nature’s way of ensuring that a pack always had a leader. But Liam suppressed the spark since he felt it settle in the place of his wolf’s, out of guilt. He was supposed to be there that night, helping Scott keep watch. Scott wasn’t supposed to be alone, not when the hunters were back. Liam hadn’t shifted again since then, he refused to acknowledge the new wolf in him, refused to grant him access to their shared body. He had only ever seen glimpses, reflections of the red eyes that had replaced his yellow ones, when he lost control.

 

The wolf howled again and his claws dug into the mattress as Liam cried. He cried for his alpha, he cried for Malia, for Melissa, for Theo and Stiles and Mason. Liam shed a tear for every single person he missed so dearly, everyone he let down. He cried for the lack of human touch, for the sound of laughter and familiar voices, for the need to be held and loved, the need to  _smile_ _without his lips cracking open_ _._ For his mom and his family and Beacon Hills and all its drama. But, he knew he didn’t deserve it and he knew that as long as he was dead to the world he could never hurt anyone again, especially not the chimera who had saved him so many times.

 

He knew the morning sun would dry the tears and he would find some task to busy himself with. He knew this misery and overwhelming despair was temporary, that when the sun rose he’d be able to breathe again. But for now he needed to feel this. He owed it to Scott to remember, to let the alpha’s wolf know he was mourning him too, even though he would never let him out.

 

Liam thought about how he left, without a word or a note. He packed a small duffel bag with clothes and toiletries and left his phone neatly on his bed along with his car keys. There was no doubt in his mind about what he needed to do, every fibre of him told him to run. _Like a coward_.

 

He paused by the photo on his desk of the pack at his graduation, they looked so happy, unscathed, “Not their alpha” he reminded himself with a shake of his head and turned the photograph upside down, “I’m no one’s alpha. Not like this.” He left the words behind him in his room, shutting the door. He stopped by his father’s bedside drawer, placing the emergency credit card in his pocket.

 

Liam walked all the way to the main road that night, and hitched a ride with a lone trucker, stopping at the nearest gas station to withdraw the cash and then discarded the credit card so it couldn’t be traced.

 

The trucker rambled incessantly, he was headed to Colorado. Liam remembered seeing photos of the snow covered lands, the beautiful mountains, it looked perfectly peaceful as if it would shut his blaring brain right up. Chuck agreed to take him all the way there. Liam didn’t let himself think or feel or wonder for a second, he just left. Chuck was the last person Liam ever had a real conversation with.

 

He didn’t let his mind linger on the chimera’s face for too long, only enough to memorize every line and how beautiful he looked just minutes before they heard the gunshots and then Scott’s last blood curdling roar, so twisted with pain. He tried to forget how Theo took him home and helped him out of the soiled clothing, standing under the shower spray with him, keeping him up, begging for Liam to look at him.

 

How Theo tucked him into bed, and promised to be right back, who knows where he went, but when the chimera returned it was to an empty, made up bed, Liam nowhere in sight. He knew Theo searched for him that night, he could hear Theo calling, howling, for him as he and Chuck left the borders of Beacon Hills. “ _Liam, wait!_ ” the voice was faint now, but back then it was enough to rip his heart right out of his chest. He learned to live without him, his voice, his anchor, but it never got any easier.

 

Liam yawned, realizing that the sun came up at some point and he missed his favourite part of the day – coffee on the small porch, in the crisp morning air, the smell of pine and wet earth blowing with the wind as the sun rose behind the cabin, listening as the grass planes came to life.

 

He took a deep breath and got up and there in the hallway he stopped, staring at the empty cabin, the mess in the kitchen, the smouldering fire and the sun beaming in through the door. Broken never looked so peaceful. He stoked the fire back to life and got some water boiling.

 

Grabbing the broom, he started sweeping up all the shattered pieces from the night before, pieces consisting not only of splintered glass but also some pieces of his broken heart.

 

He smiled. _Today we try again._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vagary - an unexpected and inexplicable change in a situation

A week passed since he last had an episode, as if it were a ghost from his past that only came back to remind him of the things he’d left behind, and that, as much as Liam hid away there was no complete escape.

 

It was just after sunrise. Liam washed his coffee mug and the plastic container he ate cereal from, he never bothered getting a set of bowls. He ran the water from the sink and made his way to the bathroom, looking down at himself, wearing nothing. Had to admit that this isolated existence came with its benefits, “Until a bear barges in here…” he said to himself, only half joking. Liam stepped right into the shower not having to waste time with removing clothes, what he wished to save time on he didn’t know. There was nothing he  _had_  to do, nowhere he had to be.

 

He let the single frozen stream of water run over his skin and soaped himself up while making a mental list of the things he wanted to do to distract from the unbarring cold. There was a book he found at the dollar store he could to get into, perhaps with a cup of coffee and on the porch. Liam also decided that the cabin needed cheering up, and since it hadn’t snowed in two days, he’d go out into the woods and pick up plants or flowers or whatever looked lively. There were two fishing rods in the back, and he couldn’t recall where they came from, those he could use to catch a fish for dinner. Even though Liam wasn’t a big eater he grew tired of canned meats and beans and corn. Maybe he’d make a small fire for him and Steve to fry the fish. He wondered if his little friend had survived the cold, he was after all no were-creature.

 

Liam dried himself, put fresh clothes on and tossed the old ones aside to be washed when he made another trip to town. He made his way outside, grabbing his thick lacrosse hoodie on the way, throwing it over his head, it still smelled faintly like home and Liam guessed it would never completely go away. The sleeve smelled like Mason and the chest area like Theo. Liam screwed his eyes shut, forcing down the lump in his throat.  _Not now._

 

He looked to the side of the cabin and there in the corner a large yellow and black spider hung in its web, tangling a bug into the strands of its nest, “Hi Stevie.” Liam said looking up, his voice still croaky. The spider only vibrated as Liam knocked on the wood. He knew that was Steve’s way of greeting. “I’m heading out. Be back later. I’ll catch us some fish, well try to catch a fish, and make a fire.” He wasn’t crazy enough to wait for an answer… yet. Liam made his way down the few steps that lead out of his cabin, through the tall grass and into the surrounding snowy planes.

 

Liam walked toward the wooded area, ignoring the fact that the only reason he spoke to a spider was to keep his voice in practice, to be sure he even still had one. Sometimes Steve had gone god-knows-where for days on end and Liam didn’t say a word, and when he finally spoke again, his voice sounded foreign in his own mouth, out of place. Speaking to a spider seemed strange but at this point Steve was the only tether to reality that Liam had. He needed to stay sane somehow. He found it odd, however, that the spider stuck around for this long, he didn’t know they had such a great life span.

 

The planes were usually quiet and peaceful, the birds owning up to most of the sounds around the mountains, but today something was different. There was an uneasy rush in the trees, the flutter of feathers and leaves were urgent, like the birds could not quite settle on one place. Instead of pine and earth the breeze dragged along with it a scent that Liam couldn’t pin down, but it stirred a feeling in him that something was coming. He listened deep into the woods but aside from the nervous tick of his own heart he could hear nothing different from most days.

 

He brushed it off to the seasons changing, but the hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he moved through the forest collecting plants and the odd flower that hadn't wilted in the snow. There was a beautiful bunch of purple flowers growing up along the stem of the tree, “These will do”, Liam mumbled and plucked a bunch, tucking them into the nook of his arm along with some leafy branches when suddenly his back ran cold, hollow, like when he was a kid and he ran down the dark hallway of his parents' house.

 

The wolf responded, forcing Liam to turn around. He froze as the other animal took another step forward, its large paws barely audible on the wet forest floor. “Shit…” Liam panicked, skin breaking out in goose bumps. He’d never seen other wildlife up there save for the odd elk wandering by the cabin, but never another predator. She was beautiful though, and her coat looked soft, her golden eyes burning into Liam as she sized him up. For a moment Liam considered just letting her rip into him, but his wolf would have none of it.  As the mountain lion’s lip curled up revealing her fangs, the wolf flashed its crimson eyes, instantly submitting her into a low bow.

 

She sneered at him and the wolf growled back, reaffirming his status as alpha over the two. Liam held his breath, watching as the animal retreated until she was back far enough to make a run for it. She disappeared down the mountain and Liam waited until he could no longer hear her heartbeat before he turned his back, running toward the cabin as fast as he could.

 

“Holy shit Steve!! A fucking mountain lion! Fuck that was close. Holy shit. Why was she here? They don’t come up here? Right?” Liam realized it was probably the most he’s spoken- the loudest he’s spoken - since the night he left Beacon Hills. He paused for a moment listening to his raging heartbeat, watching the placid spider on the wall. Was the mountain lion there because she also felt the unease in the air? Was she scared? Lost? Liam didn’t think to scent her.

 

“I wish you could talk Steve. You’d probably know exactly what she was doing up here, huh?” Liam sighed looking at the spider again, placing the flowers and branches down on the small wooden table and walked to the back of the cabin where he kept the fishing rods, and then made his way down to the lake. He spent the rest of the morning sitting by the water, with a flask of coffee, waiting for a fish to take the bait.

 

To normal ears everything would seem peaceful, the frozen earth melted away under the sun beams, little creatures emerged from their hiding spots. Liam however, fidgeted with the reel handle, bouncing his foot on his knee, not able to shake the unease. He still felt the buzzing in the air, something that didn’t belong, something that came to disturb his peace… if one could call it peace. He felt the same way he did that night in the hospital just before he ran into Gabe. His body knew something was wrong, and he hadn’t felt this way in a long time and that made it so much harder to ignore.

 

 _The hospital._ The night Theo saved him,  _again._  When he realized it became a habit for Theo to just show up whether or not Liam wanted his help, whether or not he needed saving. Theo always just seemed to find Liam. He never thanked Theo for all the times he risked his life for him. Liam was going to tell him the night the hunters killed Scott. He was so close; the words were almost out of his stubborn mouth. Theo had even built up enough courage to touch him, he remembered how the chimera curled his finger around his wrist and tugged him closer, and how quietly Theo said his name, just “Liam.”, - only for them to jolt apart when the shots went off. He always wondered what Theo was going to do… Hug him? Kiss him? He’ll never know now.

 

Just before sunset the line finally tugged in Liam’s hand. He pulled the rod back lifting the line out of the water. “Woah!! Look at this Steve!” he shouted lifting the fish toward the cabin. His smile hurt, he never smiled anymore, but it felt great at the same time. He wrestled with the fish until it finally succumbed. “Pity you don’t eat fish Steve, this is gonna be awesome!”

 

Liam’s head suddenly jerked up, that smell… what  _was_  that? _Is that… blood?_ Liam looked down at the fish, but the scent didn’t match that of the one in the air. He knew the scent of his own blood all too well, but he still felt around his abdomen, his arms, turning his hands over, there was no blood coming from him either. Something coiled around in his gut. Liam inhaled again. The smell was definitely that of an animal. Perhaps the rogue mountain lion he encountered earlier met a predator not quite as merciful as Liam.

 

Liam gathered the rod and bait, scooping the fish into a bucket and headed for the cabin, before whatever was out there paid him a visit too. He spent the rest of the afternoon gutting and cleaning the fish, wishing he still had some form technology to Google how to do it properly. All he knew was that he needed to remove the insides, and instead of the making use of the alpha wolf’s long claws he opted to use a knife like any other normal human would do. 

 

 

_But you’re not normal are you Liam?_

 

“Stop” Liam pegged the knife into the counter, shutting his eyes as he tried to rid his mind of the thoughts. “Please… it’s been a good day, just let me have this.” The wolf growled, huffing but settling still. He sighed in relief as the feelings seemed to push themselves back.

 

By the time the night fell over the mountains Liam had started a small fire at the bottom of the steps. As much as he wanted to relax it was difficult, the air seemed thick and hard to inhale. The smell of blood now more pungent than it had been before. Liam assumed that a victim of some attack had been left in an unfortunate way to die and that the strong night winds blew the scent back that way. He would rather consider that to the alternative of...  _something_  headed his way.

 

He ignored it as much as he could and got into meaningless conversations with Steve while waiting for the fish to cook. When it turned a golden brown, he removed it from the fire and sat cross legged on the porch while he ate, staring out into the darkness. In times like these Liam felt most alone, when the huge piece of fried fish reminded him that there was no one to share it with, or when he listened to the crickets and realized even they had company.

 

There was a part of Liam that wanted to cry because of the loneliness - a lone and lost wolf in the middle of nowhere, dead to anyone that mattered. The other part of him welcomed the feeling, knowing those who mattered were in fact safe. He would however give anything to just feel someone again, just feel someone’s gaze on him, someone who would listen when he spoke, someone to make jokes at his expense even.  _Theo._

 

Liam got up quickly, storming into the cabin, shutting the door behind him, as if doing that would help him escape the one name he could never forget. His throat burned, and his jaw quivered as his mind assaulted him with images of the chimera. He fell back against the door screwing his eyes shut when his wolf growled unexpectedly, it wasn’t a growl of anger nor one of grief… it was a warning.

 

Liam had been so overwhelmed with memories that for a brief second he let his guard down around the strangeness he’d been feeling all day, the tension surrounding his peaceful cabin for the last twelve hours.

 

He stilled and sniffed the air… fear and blood-  _moving_. His heart picked up. He focused his hearing… a fast succession of thumps on the forest floor, claws scraping as it moved…  _ran._ Faster.Getting louder, closer and accompanied by wet pants for breath, strained and harsh.

 

Whatever it was, was right outside, just meters away. Liam’s heart racketed in his chest as he reached for the door, the animal’s blood and fear and exhaustion choked the air from Liam's lungs. He sucked in a breath as deep as he could and jerked the door open, prepared for something injured to storm passed the cabin, or collapse in front of it at least… but never this.

  

Liam stepped aside just in time for a large black mass to bolt inside the cabin, collapsing on the floor seconds after it entered, like it had run a marathon and finally crossed the finish line.

 

He took more than a few seconds to realize that the mass on the floor was indeed an animal, a very large and horribly injured animal.

 

_What animal is that Liam..._

Liam swallowed, frozen in place, “A wolf...”. his knuckles turned white around the doorknob, his stomach hollowing as he inhaled again, the familiar scent rushing to his brain. And then it clicked.

 

_More importantly Liam,_ **_who_ ** _is that?_

Liam shut his eyes.  _He was standing on the school steps with Mason. He was apologizing for missing gym when Mason stopped him, “There’s a wolf._ ” 

 

His eyes shot open, recalling its scent, its eyes. The blood drained from his face.

 

_Who is that Liam…_

 

“Theo…”

 


	3. Chapter 3

_*_

_The black shadow glides through the woodland at the speed of light, snaking in between trees, leaping over rocks. Smooth, agile, injured however. The wind at its back trails the copper scent of its wounds up the mountain. The wolf’s determination is the only thing that keeps it going. It has never been this close. It can smell **him** , clear and unmistakable for the first time in years. The yellow eyes guide the way, its heart pumping ferociously, the adrenaline thick in its throat. So close. There is a gleam of light in the distance, its vision tunnels. Just a bit further. The smell of fried fish, fire wood burning... and there it was, as certain as the moon above him. Liam. The wolf growls, its paws pushing down harder into the forest floor, firing its body over a formation of boulders. Keep going, move faster. Trails of blood drip from its mouth but nothing slows it down, not now. Its paws touch wood, a door is flung open just as the wolfs body gives in. It is warm and quiet wherever he is now, the only sound is that of the other heartbeat, **his** heartbeat. Surrendering to the pain is comfortable, easy even, with the other wolf’s scent enveloping him from every angle. **Finally**. _

*

Liam clung to the door handle, his gaze on the creature unwavering. Smells he had long forgotten overwhelmed his senses, stung his eyes and his brain was trying to process it all. The wolf inside paced, like a ravaged dog circling its empty bowl.

 

Neither the human nor the animal was sure what to do with the additional presence in their confined space, Liam’s peaceful cabin suddenly felt full and overcrowded, like he’d never noticed before just how small it was. Now it felt filled to the brim and about to explode, too many scents, too many sounds… blood. Liam’s heart thundered at a dizzying rate, _Theo’s blood. He’s hurt._

The alpha wolf flashed its eyes at the smothering sweet smell of liquid copper in the air. Liam blinked hard forcing back the shift that begged underneath his skin, enticed by the blood. His hand fell from the door handle, leaving it ajar and his feet risked a few steps forward despite the trouble building in his chest. _A few more steps,_ the curious alpha urged _._ He became aware of the black wolf’s rapid breathing, gurgling sounds deepening as its chest rose and fell in fast successions. The last shred of Liam’s hesitation vanished when the animal’s painful howl echoed through the cabin, its head barely lifting. Suddenly Liam found himself knelt down by its side.

 

Liam reached out a trembling hand and rested it on the wolf’s neck, stroking down to its rib cage. He lifted his hand upon feeling the wetness, sticky and warm, parting the fur where his hand had been to uncover a large bite mark- canine. There were several, he realized, as he assessed the rest of the wolf’s body for damage. The bites varied in size and seemed to have been inflicted by more than one set of jaws- a pack. The wolf, Theo, whimpered and its paws twitched as Liam’s fingers skimmed over the gaping wounds.

 

“I… I have to… what do I do? What am I supposed to do?!” His voice bordered on hysterical, his hands quivered, one running soothingly down the wolfs side, the other tugging at his own hair. The alpha wolf sneered, baring fangs- _Take the pain away._

 

 _Of course!_ Liam cupped the wolfs neck, jumping as it flinched, its yellow eyes attempting a weak glare. He knew who was inside the creature but it made it no less intimidating, this was still a genuine wolf, in his cabin, on his kitchen-slash-living room floor.

 

Liam watched as tiny black veins slithered over the back of his hand and up to his wrists, disappearing underneath his sleeve and although he couldn’t see it, he could feel the pain burn a trail upwards, settling deep in his chest. The longer his hold on the wolf the more the pain flowed in. He recalled the story about how Derek took all Cora’s pain, saving her life but relinquishing his status as alpha. Liam realized, as he felt the numbing tingles spread throughout his body, why Scott had always warned them about taking too much pain. He held on for a second longer, he considered that perhaps letting the alpha go wasn’t such a bad idea, that maybe the guilt would go along with it if the wolf could finally be laid to rest along with Scott.

 

But once again the persistent alpha would have nothing of it, it snarled using Liam’s body to throw them back, breaking contact. Liam landed on his behind, disorientated. His eyes focused on the wolf again, its breathing now steadier, is eyes less glazed. 

 

It lifted its head, licking tentatively over one of the bites as if imploring it to heal. Liam crawled closer, settling on his knees just a step away from it, he lifted a hand and paused as he made eye contact with the animal. A chill raced down Liam’s spine seeing the familiar expression in the yellow irises, this was really _him_. The wolf huffed and Liam laid his palm on the soft fur behind the wolfs ear, “You okay?” his voice croaked and was softer than he intended. Another huff followed as it set its head back down.

 

It was only when the rush settled that Liam saw just how magnificent the creature was, its silky black fur glimmering in the dim lights of the cabin. 

 

 _Beautiful, but he's not healing._ The alpha wolf paced again, watching the scene in front of it. It wasn’t in pain anymore but the deep lacerations still gaped open.

 

“You’re not healing?” he asked not expecting a resolve but looking hopefully at the wolf for one. He should have known the calm wouldn’t last that nothing would be that simple. Not for him. Liam watched as the wolf’s ribs rose and sunk, he was alive yes, but for how long? Surely he should have gotten up by now? The thumping in its chest slowed, it was faint but Liam heard it instantly.

 

Liam’s heart lurched, an uncomfortable and unwelcome feeling crept up from somewhere in the shadows of Liam’s being, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. _Fear._

 

“Oh no, no, why aren’t you healing?” He shook the animal gently, it only but earned him a low growl, “You should be healing.” Liam listened to its pulse- _One two…… One two…… One two._

 

 _Liam._ The alpha growled from deep in his chest, he screwed his eyes shut fighting the crimson, this was not the time to let his emotions get the better of him, the need to be in control. The truth was that he couldn’t bear to shift, the thought made his skin crawl, to let Scott’s wolf take over its body… he couldn’t. _You know what you need to do Liam_. he balled his fists, digging their sharp ends into his palms. He shook his head, “There has to be another way...”

 

_Listen to his heart Liam…_

 

_One… Two……… One ... Two……_

“Oh, that’s not good, that’s not how it’s supposed to sound” Liam stood up raking his hands through his hair, holding his head. “Shit” What was he supposed to do? Why was this happening? Why was Theo even here? “I don't know what to do!” 

 

_Bite him._

 

 The order was simple. 

“I… I can’t” Liam looked down to where the black wolf lay whimpering at his feet. This was _Theo_ , this was the one he… a thousand images of Theo’s face flashed through his mind, the face he hadn’t been able to forget, not that he ever wanted to. He would not let another person he cared for die in his arms, especially not this one. Liam inhaled, and for the first time he was willing to reason with the wolf inside.

 

_Time is running out, listen to his heart._

“I know! I know.” Liam fought down the nausea as he rolled his neck and allowed the wolf to drop its fangs freely for the first time since he inherited the alpha spark. He opened his eyes and felt the red glow with a bright relief, flinching away when he caught his reflection in the window.

 

Alan Deaton’s voice suddenly rang in his ears, _“A fully shifted wolf could only ever be cured by the bite if the alpha was also shifted to full capacity. Partially shifted bites will have little to no effect”_

 

It was as though the wolf knew what to do, working on pure instinct and adrenaline and fuelled by the blood scent. Liam had no choice in the matter. He felt his bones contort and break one by one as they shaped into the wolfs form. The part of him that clung to his humanity, the part he suppressed with the guilt of Scott’s death dissipated when the alpha wolf roared igniting the spark after years. Renewed blood flowed through Liam’s body as the power surged in his veins. His tears were absorbed by the soft fur that sprouted from his face as a snout protruded, the human no longer visible.

 

The white wolf snarled, shaking its body out as it moved toward the other. Its claws tapping on the wooden floor boards, careful not to step in the blood pooling by the other wolfs mouth. It leaned down nudging its nose into the silky black fur, the strands fluttering as he huffed. It lifted its head and its yellow eyes met with unfamiliar red ones, red that were not so much asking as it was informing. The black one growled in assent, dropping its head back to the floor before sharp canines sunk into its side, jaws closing around the soft flesh.

 

The mountain range stirred, the night awoken by the sonorous howl from inside the small cabin. Nature shifted, the order once again disrupted as an alpha created a new beta, a new pack formed and bonded. The animals scurried around between the trees because they felt it too- the energy radiating from the cabin on the mountain top, they heard the clink of an extra link in the chain. The desolate cabin of the lone wolf now a soul richer. In its web, even the befriended spider vibrated with the cry of the new werewolf. A _true_ werewolf.

 

Liam shifted back as soon as he released his jaws, his clothes laying in shreds at his feet. He threw his head back, breathing fast and harsh, bringing his hand up to wipe away the blood in the corners of his mouth. He exhaled drawing back the fangs, fixing his gaze on the nude and blood smeared body curled up on his floor, Theo… _There he is._ The wolf inside sighed resigning itself with a smile.

There was a tight knot in Liam’s throat as he crawled closer to Theo. His wounds were gone and his heart was still, _One Two, One Two_ , as it should be. He smelled the same as he always had, and Liam let himself take as much of it in as possible. God, he missed it, he wanted to pull him close and inhale all of it. He was asleep, passed out most likely. Liam imagined such and ordeal could be rather exhausting. He wondered what on earth happened, how did Theo find him after all this time, how long he had spent looking and if he was looking at all or if it was all just a fortunate coincidence.

 

 _Fortunate?_ Liam growled away the alpha wolf’s smile at the minute hint of optimism in his thoughts. Theo stirred at the sound and suddenly Liam was hyper aware that he was no longer alone, that there was now someone who could hear him, see him… feel him. It was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.  He patted a hand on Theo’s shoulder lulling him back to sleep. Liam waited until his breathing evened out before he hooked Theo’s knees over his arm and cradled his neck in the other, carefully lifting him off the ground, his boiling body pressed to Liam’s chest.

 

Liam carried him down the hall, and every single emotion he had suppressed in the past two years flooded back and became increasingly overbearing with every step he took holding the sleeping wolf in his arms. He blinked every few seconds ridding his eyes of the tears that had finally freed themselves, tears that had been begging since he first locked eyes with the injured animal. Tears of joy? Relief maybe? He didn’t know what, but he let them fall, dripping onto Theo’s bare skin. He walked into the dark bedroom lit only by the moon, there was no time to light the candles earlier.

 

The mattress dipped low under their combined weight, the floorboards creaking underneath. Liam managed to lay Theo down without disturbing his slumber. He pulled the covers from the other side of the bed over the sleeping body, tucking the edge of the duvet under his chin, his hands twitching to reach out and stroke the stubble on Theo’s jaw but he ignored the impulse.

 

Liam receded until his back was against the wall and he slumped down right there, naked, open, raw. His eyes never leaving the sleeping figure in his bed, ears heeding every tick of his heartbeat to ensure it was there, jumping each time Theo stirred. He wasn’t sure what to do or where to go from here and it was times like these that he wished there was someone else to call, a leader with all the answers, someone to devise a plan… _Scott_.

 

Liam prepared himself for the onslaught, for the wolf to rummage through his brain and fill every crack with painful memories of that night until the grief burned in his chest as it did each time he thought about Scott and the pack he abandoned… but it never came

 

For once the alpha wolf had nothing to grumble at Liam under its breath, satisfied that it was now part of Liam and etched into him. Liam snorted in the dark little corner of the room- _of course_  Theo would be the one who forced him to accept the wolf, to finally ignite the spark. “Doesn’t mean we’re friends,” Liam whispered to his wolf, “but thank you for saving him.”

 

Liam let a few minutes pass before he slipped into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt as quietly as he could and curled up in the corner again, freezing but not daring to take his one and only blanket from Theo. He eyed the extra pair of sweats he laid on the edge of the mattress for when Theo woke up- to avoid the awkwardness the next morning, the last thing he needed was Theo hovering naked behind a doorframe. 

 

Liam’s eyes grew heavy as his mind replayed the earlier events, Theo’s scent still clinging to him, the phantom tingling of the alpha's fangs along his gums, the sound of two hearts beating in tune with one another in an otherwise silent room.

 

* * *

 

 

Liam was up long before the sun, unable to sleep any more knowing in only a few hours Theo Raeken would stand in front of him, alive and breathing the same air. Someone he never thought he would see again, someone who came, for God only knows what reason, and sent his entire life tumbling on its edges once again.

 

He was anxious because of what he did – what he _had_ to do to save Theo's life and what his reaction would be to having been turned. He was angry too, how could Theo do this? Liam shuddered thinking about what Theo had gone through to find him, once again risking his life as if it were nothing, for Liam. This defeated the entire purpose of fleeing to keep everyone safe. What if the wolf hadn’t made it? What if he died down in the woods, would Liam ever have known? Would _anyone_ have known?

 

The only thing easing his nerves was the scent of his anchor, lingering around his cabin. The pure pine smell mixed with the spice of Theo's skin, his sheets would no doubt also smell like him.

 

Liam set some water to boil and took out his coffee mug. He paused, looking at his silly little make-shift cupboard. There was only one mug. One of everything. He never got more because there was never supposed to be anyone up there with him, the only other human was the mute native who helped him build the place and then vanished. 

 

He panicked, Theo would think this was so riduculous, and how was he supposed to tell him to _share_ a mug. How was he meant to explain himself to this man? Was Theo there to take him back home? Could he still call it home?

 

Dread came up thick and heavy in Liam’s chest but the alpha wolf growled snapping him back to reality, and for the first time he could feel Scott's presence, he could feel the alpha’s voice vibrating through the wolf’s growl, saying his name, urging him to calm down. A bitter sweet feeling settled within, sad because he knew Scott was gone but oddly at ease having heard him.

 

The sun peeked over the mountain top and he heard the wildlife wake. Liam eyed the dark red pool of blood on the cabin floor. He took out an old rag and bucket, skeptical about how much he could get cleaned off the wood. He tried none the less, for half an hour. 

Most of it was gone when he heard movements in the bedroom, he listened, all his senses stood on end. 

 

This was the moment and Liam wasn’t sure he was ready to look into those green eyes, or to see that face, hear _that_ voice. His hands fisted and he swallowed, but all he could taste was copper.

 

A quick rustle of fabric- Theo pulling on the sweat pants. Then frantic footsteps headed for the bedroom door, bare feet stumbling over one another to move faster. Heart racing, beating out the rancid smell of panic.

 

The claws dug into his palm, not even the wolf in him had the restraint it usually did. His entire body was trembling, nostrils flaring and his jaw clenched so tight his neck hurt. He backed up toward the door, ready to run.  _Breathe, we have to breathe._

 

But Theo appeared in the lounge area, undoubtedly real and seething, and Liam swayed. He was never ready, not for this.

 

Theo halted with a stagger when his eyes fell on Liam, panicked scent fading. His mouth parted, but the words didn’t come, instead his eyes shifted to a beautiful electric blue and Liam’s glowed crimson in response. Alpha meeting his Beta.

 

Liam gasped seeing the bright blue of Theo’s eyes, not even the clearest day on that mountain could compare. Even if he had the words to say, his lips wouldn’t move. Nothing would move. The only sound between them where words should be, was the sound of their breathless hearts screaming in their chests.

 

“Hi...” Liam sighed, a cloud of frosted breath following the word.

 

“….. _Hi_??”

 

The moment was fleeting. Theo closed the few steps between them in only a few seconds, Liam had no time to respond. Theo’s fist cracked his jaw and sent him flying across his living room floor, pain ringing in his ears. 

 

_Hmm, familiar._


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few moments for Liam to realize what happened. He hadn’t felt pain like that in a long time. He welcomed it, feeling it shoot through him, blinding and real. _This is all real_. He rubbed along the bruised area, only aware of how long his beard had gotten when his fingers met the thick and soft hairs that covered his face.

 Liam risked opening his eyes, slow and careful. His eyes settled on a heaving and panting Theo, a scowl between his eyes, hands resting on his bare hips.

 He expected Theo to be angry, and if he was honest with himself he was expecting the punch too. What caught him off guard were the two wet trails running down Theo’s cheeks, quickly swiped away with the back of his hand. “Theo…”

 

“Don’t”

 

As soon as their eyes made contact Theo sprinted by Liam, into the freezing outdoors. Liam got up, straightening himself out, taking hesitant steps toward the tiny porch where Theo stood hunched over the wooden rail, mist all around him. His hair blew around with the winds but he didn’t bother to tame it. Instead, he fixed his gaze on something else.

 

Liam followed Theo’s eyes down to the rail where his fingers traced over the words carved into the wood, ‘ _People only feel one emotion at a time’_ His head cocked in a strange angle, taking in the letters under his fingers, no doubt recalling those words he spoke years ago. His shoulders dropped, and he exhaled a large white cloud, his gaze now cast to the grey sky.

 

 _Please know I have thought about you all this time._ Liam thought and took another step forward.

 

The weather had suddenly taken a miserable turn, thunderous clouds hid the sun away, casting gloomy shadows over the mountains. The relentless wind tugging branches in whichever direction it pleased.

 

He must have sensed Liam close behind him. Theo turned his head so that only the side of his face was visible and cleared his throat, “It’s cold up here”

 

_A peace offering?_

 

Liam flung around in search of something to offer Theo against the cold, his puffy snow coat being the closet item.  He grabbed it and held it out to Theo. Reluctant hands took the coat, and he nodded a thanks before swinging it across his shoulders,

 

One would think after all this time there would be a flood of things to be said but yet the two stood wordless in front of one another, staring. They studied each other carefully, thin frames, pale and heavily bearded faces- far from the bronzed athletic teenagers they once knew. Theo looked different like this and Liam wondered when the last time was that he ate, had coffee… slept?

 

“Do you, uhm, want to come back in here?” Liam asked quietly, stepping aside for Theo to enter. He nodded and moved passed Liam into the cabin. Liam shut his eyes when he breathed in that familiar scent, his entire body tingling. The wolf grumbled inside, a soft and unfamiliar sound.

 

Theo hovered in the entrance, looking around at the small cabin, “Does this thing hold up in a blizzard?” he asked, eyeing the flapping roof corner. 

 

Liam was taken aback by the question not because of the insult to his haven but the fact that Theo tried to make conversation, his tongue stumbled over itself before correctly uttering the words, “Until now, yes” He too, glanced up at the spot- he would have to get it fixed sooner or later.

 

Theo’s eyes fell back on Liam and he moved toward the small kitchen space, fingers trailing over the single table and chair. He seemed fascinated by it all, a million questions burning in his eyes. Liam watched as he glanced from one thing to another, examining every nook of the tiny cabin- the rugged walls, the skew windows and the odd assortment of ornaments. He looked back at Liam, lip tucked between his teeth as he tried to stifle the words. 

 

“Coffee?”

“Please,"

“I have bread, if you’re hungry?”

“I’m fine,"

“Okay… you can sit” Liam gestured to the chair, he felt so out of place in his own skin, so self conscious and suddenly hyper aware of every move he made. Where Theo's eyes fell on Liam it _burned_ , his entire body screaming, for what, he didn't know.

 

Theo nodded and pulled the chair out, sitting down as Liam placed the cup of steaming coffee on the table in front of him. He looked at Liam’s now empty hands, “Where’s yours?”

 

Liam forgot what it was like to blush, he blinked fast when the red crept up to his cheeks, “I only have the one…” Theo’s lips parted as he held the mug out to Liam but the alpha stopped him, “It’s okay I will get some later” On top of feeling out of place he was embarrassed too, he never planned on having to explain his simple existence to anyone. 

 

The air was thick between them, thick with things that needed to be said, asked and answered in turn. They didn’t know where to start and for once even the wolf was quiet, lying low and sussing out the other animal, familiar yet unacquainted.

 

Liam jumped when Theo spoke, still getting used to another voice where there was just silence before, “The bathroom?”

 

“Oh, here…” Liam walked over to the smaller room across from his bedroom, bumping into Theo when he turned around, "Sorry, sorry…” Liam stepped back allowing Theo to move. He was puzzled when Theo stood staring at him in the doorway, arching a brow.

 

“Oh right! Yeah, there is no door. I’m sorry!”

 

Liam returned to the kitchen, standing by the counter, foot tapping restlessly as he waited for the other wolf to return. He hated this heaviness, he hated how choked he felt and how he was suddenly pressured to speak, to fill a gap with words and gestures. _But you don’t mind **him** do you Liam? _

He didn’t. It made him terribly nervous and kicked him completely out of his comfort zone but he didn’t mind. Not when he had been missing Theo all of this time without a promise of ever seeing him again. Liam couldn’t help but wonder how this came about, how exactly Theo found him- he didn’t tell a soul where he was going the night he left.

 

He needed to know, but he was also fully aware of the strangeness between them, many days went by, years, and neither were the same person they were when they parted. Liam wished they could just pick up where they left off- that night in the preserve pre-gun shots, when Theo circled a hand around Liam’s wrist. He wished they had just a few more moments so that Theo could have said or done what he was planning to. It had taken them so long to get to that point, they had tried so hard to put what they felt into words and they never got the chance to say it. Where they stood now, no one knew.

 

Theo returned from the bathroom a few moments later and took a seat at the table again, finishing his cup of coffee. A harsh wind swooped around the cabin and the first bits of sleet slammed against the window, Liam rushed over, peering out to the corner at Steve’s web. He hoped the little guy took shelter before the winds picked up.

 

“Everything okay?”

“Uhm, yeah. Yes. Fine. Sorry,"

“Is it that roof?”

“N-no…” _Tell him it’s a spider Liam, one you talk to on a daily basis_ , “hmm… no, it’s not the roof, sorry…” he said, frowning at the sudden snark in the wolf. 

 

“Liam…”  Liam froze, he had forgotten what his name sounded like coming from Theo’s mouth, the way it sent shivers down his spine, how it just _belonged_ and made every other sound seem like nothing at all.

 

Liam walked back to the kitchen area, “Yes?”

 

“Stop apologizing for everything,"

 

Liam looked down, taking the empty cup. He didn’t realize he was doing it. He guessed it was because every fibre of his being was telling him he owed Theo some kind of apology for all of this, for all the missing time. “Okay” 

 

“Red suits you” Theo blurted out his eyes cast down to where he fumbled with the zipper of the jacket, his heart ticking a smidge faster, chewing on the inside of his lip. 

 

Liam glanced at his white shirt, confused about what Theo was talking about but also entirely flushed, and he wondered for a second if Theo referred to the red blush on his cheeks that would not leave him alone.

 

“Your eyes…” Theo clarified now looking up at Liam through his thick lashes.

 

Liam winced, recalling the involuntary shifts in the last couple of hours and how the wolf took over, to both save Theo and to greet its new beta. Liam’s heart thundered realising that he is not just a werewolf anymore, he is someone’s alpha… someone who didn’t ask for it, someone who had no choice… He swallowed hard, the wolf now pacing inside, its claws digging into Liam’s palms.

 

The sound of a chair scraping over wood tore his eyes open, “Hey, hey it’s okay… Liam calm down”. Theo leaned over the table, seemingly ready to reach for the alpha, "Are you okay??". His voice carded through Liam’s insides, soothing the rush that bubbled in his blood. Liam relaxed his limbs, he didn't even realize they had tightened. He eased back against the counter as he waited for the water to boil for his cup of coffee.   _He told you to stop apologizing..._ But Liam couldn't help, "I'm fine, sorry. About biting you, Theo I..." 

 

"You saved me," 

"But you didn't have a choice in it..." 

"I'd be dead otherwise Liam. It's okay,"

 

Liam breathed out a silent sigh of relief, “Your eyes are different too, Theo…” It had to be said, Theo needed to know.  To Liam it didn’t matter what colour Theo’s eyes were, it changed nothing. Liam was sure however, that if he was the one sporting new electric blue eyes, he’d want to know. There was also a part of Liam that wanted to ask to see them again, just because they were so breathtaking. 

 

Theo looked down again, his jaw clenching before he replied, “I figured”

 

Liam wanted to tell him that they were beautiful, his blue eyes, that he didn’t care _why_ they were blue. But there were mountains of things that needed to be addressed before he would dare. Instead he settled for Theo’s own words, “Suits you though.”

 

“Because I’m a murderer?”

 

“No! No I didn’t mean… no, Theo, I…” he stopped babbling upon seeing the tiny smile tease the corner of Theo’s mouth. Liam huffed looking down, fighting back a smile of his own, “I meant it’s a nice colour”

 “Right,"

 “Theo…”

 “Hmm?”

 “What happened to you? The bites?”

 Theo sighed leaning back in the chair, crossing his arm over his chest, “Pack of real wolves. Didn’t recognize the wolf part because of the coyote. Guess they saw me as a threat.”

 

“They attacked you? When? Where?” Liam's stomach dropped, the lines on his forehead creasing with worry of what could have happened, wanting to hear the rest but not sure of he’d be able to take it.

 

Theo nodded, “Probably a day ago,” he pointed to the mountain range visible through the window, “and I’m guessing it was over there, since I ran uphill to you… to _here_ I mean,"

 

_He **was** looking for you. All this time. _

Liam had too many questions, questions he had no business asking when _he_ was the one who disappeared, leaving nothing but memories of himself behind, he had no right. Even so, he had to know, he _needed_ to know how this man found him. 

 

“Theo… how… how did you find me?”

_*_

_“Theo you can’t just… go! Can you stop for a few seconds??”—“Mason, I am warning you, don’t get in my way right now”—“Theo you know what happens to lone wolves, please just wait, let’s talk to….”—“talk to who Mason?? Scott is dead, and he thinks it’s his fault! He’s out there alone…” the human’s arms fell from the chimera’s shoulders allowing him to strip the remaining items of clothing. “What can I get you? What do you need?”—“Nothing. I won’t need anything” There were more protests from his friend as he shifted to the form of his wolf, the sound of bones breaking drowned out by one last plea for him to wait. He looked back only once, huffing at Mason and then he was off. The wolf ran as fast as it could, following the faint trail of Liam’s scent into the dark, chasing what was left of it, darting passed the borders of Beacon Hills. A desperate howl echoed through the night, calling out to the other wolf- it was never answered. The black wolf ran since that night, stopping only when he needed to and even then he was restless, fearful of losing the scent. He chased it for days, through towns and forests, across highways and over borders. He lost it at times when the winds shifted and he would wander around adrift and searching- sometimes for weeks at a time, until by some miracle it found him again, initiating the chase once more. The last time the scent escaped the wolf he found himself in a small town at the foot of two twin mountains hidden under a thick cloud of mist. The snow winds had changed direction again, the scent of Liam gone with it. He followed a footpath leading up the mountain, beyond the “no hikers beyond this point” sign, ignoring the warnings of various wild animals beside it, he too was now one of them. The night had fallen, the woods only visible through his enhanced vision- that’s when the wolf felt them, another of his kind, eight maybe? A pack. Too many sets of yellow blinking eyes emerged from the shadows, surrounding him, snarling. He was never one to submit, so he countered the snarl with a growl. The alpha circled him, scented him, tilting its head as the coyote’s fighter instincts took over marking him as a threat. With one bark at its betas the alpha's pack was on the black wolf, ripping into its flesh. He fought back for only a short while, he was smaller and malnourished and they took him down easily. Images of sky blue eyes and a smile as bright as a star flashed through his mind as he lost consciousness. Liam. When he awoke it was to **his** scent, the winds howling that they’d found him, urging the wolf awake. He fought through the pain, adrenaline taking over. The scent was stronger than it had ever been and it clung to the insides of his nose, washing over his entire body, and then he ran towards it with everything in him, until he crashed into it._

_*_

“I just… did” Theo exhaled, blinking at Liam. How does one put it into words? _I found you by your scent… simply because… because I can’t live without it- without you. I **ran** for two years of my life just to see you again. And here you are more beautiful than ever and I don't know how to say that._

He stood up quickly before any of the thoughts escaped his lips like they were begging to do, even through all the anger of Liam leaving. 

“I need to shower” Theo mumbled and pulled the zipper of the thick coat down, shaking it off his shoulders as he strutted to the bathroom. 

 

Theo ran the water, testing the temperature with his hand when he heard the front door click open. Fear screamed at him that Liam was leaving again. He stumbled over his feet to go after him, halting when he heard Liam’s voice outside of the cabin.

 

 _“…. it’s Theo. He’s here….”_ Liam whispered, he said a name that Theo couldn’t make out. _“I’m glad you’re okay… but you need to take shelter, the storms coming up,"_

 

Theo moved to where he could see Liam- standing on the porch, facing the empty corner… talking to absolutely no one. There was nothing there, not a person or a heartbeat or a scent.

 

_“Sorry about last night… but I think you’ll like him,"_

Theo retreated back into the bathroom quietly, horror and confusion rushing through his veins. What was wrong with Liam? Had he lost his mind in all this time alone, was there another entity on the mountain with them? Did he go through all of this just to find absolute madness? Surely not. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heuristic – enabling someone to discover or learn something for themselves

Theo stood hunched over the tiny basin, he drew in long deep breaths- each inhale dragged Liam’s scent deeper into his sinuses. The little wolf was _everywhere_ , even on his skin and Theo hovered, fingers pinching at the material of his pants- having the shower he longed for meant that the smell of sweat and skin and pine- Liam's smell, would wash away.

 

Liam still murmured on the porch and as concerned as Theo was about whatever Liam was doing, he couldn’t help but be calm hearing Liam's voice. He'd ask him about his little chat once the awkwardness settled. _Probably none of my business anyway_ , he thought.

 

He peeled off the pants that Liam lent him, dropping them in a bundle by the door, smoothing a hand over his side where Liam bit him, the flesh tingled and stung under the surface. 

 

Shit, he was a true werewolf- what he always wanted to be. Inferior no more, except now it didn't matter anymore. There was no pack to acquire, no one to manipulate or impress and no more deceiving yellow eyes.

 

He wondered what Liam thought about his eyes, piercing blue he would imagine. Even if he said it was nice, _whatever that meant,_ Theo knew all it really was, was a brutal reflection of his true nature. A reminder of what he'd done, and that it would never leave him be no matter what mask he hid behind.

 

Theo glanced around for a mirror, he wanted to see for himself, but along with the water never turning hot, there was also no mirror or reflective surface in sight. _Obviously, Liam_ , he thought and rolled his eyes, braving the cold.

 

A single frozen stream ran down his back and it was better than anything he’d felt in a long time, except maybe Liam carrying him to bed the night before. Partial and blurred images were all he recalled but the warm hold around his body stood out in contrast to everything else. He’d been starved of touch for so long that even in an unconscious state his body recognized and called out for it.

 

Reaching for the soap the lathered it over his body and watched the dirt and blood swirl down the drain. He never thought about what he'd do once he found Liam, would he drag him back to Beacon Hills kicking and screaming? - would Liam go freely? There was no plan for how he would let the others know he found him, neither had a phone and judging by the altitude there was no lines up there either. The pack must have assumed them both dead by now, AWOL at best.

 

How long had it been? Theo honestly didn't know. He recalled the seasons…. Two summers, two winters. Two _years_? Fuck.

* * *

 

Theo entered the living area to find Liam standing by the window, “It’s snowing,” he turned to face the other wolf, eyes swooping down Theo’s bare torso. He cleared his throat, “coming down heavy” Liam cocked his head to the window for Theo to join him. He pulled up a chair and turned the single couch around to face the window, tucking his legs in under him as he sat down.

 

Watching the snow fall from way up on a mountain wasn’t something Liam knew he ever needed, but it was inexpressibly beautiful, he could stare at it for hours and most days he did. The flakes were clean crystals, not yet clumped by other particles, shimmering in an array of jewel tones as it flitted to the ground.

 

Draping the large jacket Liam had borrowed him over his shoulders, Theo took a seat beside Liam. He peered out the window to the corner where he saw Liam standing earlier, and still there was nothing, “What are we doing?” he asked stealing a glance at the young alpha.

 

“Snow-gazing. It’s uh, ... really… it’s,” Liam stuttered catching Theo’s eyes, the words lost in his throat.

 

“Beautiful?” Theo offered, his eyes wandering down from Liam’s blue eyes to his full beard, thoughts of the snow forgotten.

 

“Incredibly” the alpha breathed out, unable to look away.

 

Theo swallowed and shifted to face the window, “What do you do up here? To keep busy or whatever...” he hugged his knees to his chest and watched the tiny flakes blow against the glass.

 

Liam followed his gaze, “ _This..._ it snows a lot,” he explained, nodding to the window, “and I read. I know that book off by heart.” A shy smile played in the corner of his mouth as he gestured to an old yellow paged novel.

 

“You tried reading it backward?” Theo asked pressing his lips together to conceal a smile of his own, glancing back over at Liam. Theo snickered, “Then the good guy basically becomes the villain.” Liam smiled up at the ceiling a laugh rumbling from his chest, “I… didn’t think of that.”

 

Shit. Liam had forgotten how this all felt- the simplicity of sharing a nonsensical conversation with someone, laughing with someone. Allowing himself to feel something else besides trouble and regret was unusual, but it felt _good._ Seeing Theo laugh and smile, hearing him talk felt _good._ A part of him wondered how he thought he could live without it to begin with.

The sound of laughter dwindled into low chuckles. Theo glanced at Liam once again, seeing his smile crease the corners of his eyes, those deliriously blue eyes he chased for what felt like an eternity. The need to know _why_ was greater than it had ever been.

 

 _Why did you leave me?_ -is what he wished he had the courage to say. For someone like Theo, these things didn't come easy, he never connected with anyone like he did with Liam, never shared that bond. He also never realized that for him that connection meant he felt something in ways he never had before, ways he didn't think he _could..._ It meant he felt things he never knew he wanted. 

 

“Liam… why did you leave?” Theo blurted out before he lost his nerve, clasping his hands together on his knees. 

 

Liam tensed up, smile fading behind the thick beard. He knew he would have to answer the question eventually, yet he had no answer prepared that could justify it.

 

“I just want to know” Theo murmured, his eyes gentle and kind like Liam remembered- like they were that night in the woods, they were only ever that way for Liam.

 

Liam gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the wolf inside as it unfurled itself, awakened by the reek of anxiety. It perked up, circling around in Liam’s mind, “He died because of me, Theo." the admission was like acid on his tongue, eating away at his throat as he swallowed. "I couldn’t stay there, I couldn’t look the pack in the eyes as…. as _this.._."he waved a hand down his body, looking away. " _T_ _his_ is why Scott is gone... I couldn't.... I kill-” 

 

“It wasn't your fault Liam. If you had been there, they would have killed you too.... and I would have…” Theo frowned and looked back at the window, snow now falling dense and white, covering everything below it- much like the blanket of misery that fell over Liam. His heart sped up, the lump in his throat thickening, making it impossible to swallow. Unsought claws dug into his palms as his mind flicked through images of that night, just like it always did. Guilt coiled in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Liam?” Theo dropped his feet to the ground, instantly turning to Liam, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he said reaching for Liam but stopping. Would touch make it worse? What was he meant to do? He’d never seen Liam like that, shaking and reeking of such a mixture of emotions he couldn’t tell them apart, except for one that flared out over the others. Anguish.

 

Liam shot up and pushed through the door, flinging himself against the wooden bar. Sleet whipping against his heated cheeks as the wind swept around the corner. His vision dimmed and his fingers scampered blindly over the wood to find the etched-out letters, panting and fumbling until he made contact.

 

He traced over it like he always did when the anxiety took over and focused on the thing he always focused on, the loneliness. _You only feel one emotion at a time._ His fingers raked over the engraving again and again, his breaths grew shorter and the pressure on his chest refused to budge.

 

It wasn’t working. He traced harder over the words, repeating it in his head, grunting as his chest closed even tighter. At the same time he fought back the wolf that sneered and scratched to come out in anger, its claws protruding painfully.

 

“Liam,"

 

“Why… I can't... _fuck_ ” he inhaled hoarsely between the incoherent words, panting and silently begging the wolf for help. And then his wolf snarled, _You’re not alone anymore!_

Theo realized what Liam tried to do. _He_ was Liam's anchor, not some words carved in wood. Theo stepped up behind the wolf, his voice deep and assuring, “Liam. It's okay.”

 

Liam stilled, claws pegged into the wood, Theo’s voice was calm and to the point. God, what it was like to hear him say those words…

 

“What are you feeling? Name it” Theo said quietly behind him, the frigid winds carrying his voice to Liam.

 

Liam paused, “S-scared. I’m scared” Theo cautiously placed a hand on Liam’s shoulder, “And now?” he asked hearing the rampaging heart slow its beats. Liam’s hand dropped from the rail and his eyes stung with held in tears, he whimpered loudly as the tight band around his lungs snapped, body trembling with relief.

 

He sucked in the crisp mountain air, and the calmness washed over him, settling deep inside as he breathed a wisp of white air, “Better,” Liam turned his face to where Theo’s hand rested on his shoulder, his cheek almost touching Theo’s fingers, “Thank you.”

 

Theo answered with a light squeeze, “Come in”

 

“Are you inviting me into my own house?” Liam laughed, a combination of relief and exhaustion seeping through the cracks in his voice.

 

“ _House??”_ Theo mumbled glaring with raised brows at the flapping roof corner. He swore the gap looked a few inches wider than it had when he first saw it.

 

Liam rolled his eyes making his way inside. He quickly glanced up at Steve’s nest, darting up a stiff hand to greet him and whispered a rushed “ _Hi_ ”

 

Theo spun on his heel, concern once again flaring in his eyes. He jerked his head to the side of the cabin? Hoping to catch whatever it was this time, “Huh?”

 

“What?”

 

“Did you-”

 

“No?”

 

Theo frowned, worried eyes following Liam as he shuffled guiltily into the cabin. _What in the name of…?_

* * *

 

 

“You eat beans?” Liam asked digging around in the thing he called a cabinet. He held up the can, repeatedly blowing his long hair out of his face until it flopped back.

 

Having just lit the candles Theo tossed the matches back on the table. He leaned against the wall crossing his arms, watching Liam move about the kitchen. He was ridiculous, this entire situation was outrageous. A shack on a mountain and a seeminly crazy werewolf living off of beans?  “Suppose I don’t have a choice?”

 

“Well it’s beans or corn, so…” Liam paused holding up both cans, wiggling them in the air for an answer. Obviously he would be difficult about it. Liam recalled the time the pack went to dinner and Theo ordered a burger, with horrendously specific instructions. To this day he is amazed the waitress got it right.

 

“You’re thinking of the bun-less burger, aren’t you??”

 

“Theo, it was a patty with two drops of sauce, because it’s not allowed to ‘ _spill over the edges_ ’, it was hilarious” Liam said air quoting dramatically. He placed the can down on the counter and grabbed the hunting knife. Theo frowned.

 

"I was on a protein diet, no carbs..."

 

Liam groaned twisting his arm as he tried piercing the knife into the can with no success, He huffed, pushing his hair back, 

 

"… Liam, what are you doing??”

 

"I’m trying to open the can…" Liam said as if it should be quite obvious, tempted to follow it with a ‘duh’.

 

 _Why don’t you use your claws?_ Theo was about to ask when his mind made a connection between what Liam was doing and what he said earlier when referring to himself as _“this”._ He wouldn’t say the word, the pure disgust on his face when he motioned to himself, and the way he winced when Theo mentioned the red eyes…. Liam was suppressing the wolf....  _Scott’s wolf_. “Oh”

 

His heart ached watching Liam struggle with the can, using his natural human strength which at this point was not much. What must this boy have gone through on this damn mountain all by himself? It made sense now, just how deep the guilt over Scotts death went. Theo’s own claws dug into his palms, thinking about Liam being by himself, blaming himself all this time with no one to comfort him or tell him otherwise.

 

He’d fix this, he thought. Liam was obviously not okay, he was so far from it, but Theo was there _now_. He resolved to himself to make this all okay again, to help Liam. Even if it didn't change anything that happened, perhaps it would change the way Liam saw it… the way he saw himself. Because he had always been rather wonderful in Theo’s eyes.

 

“Just use the claws.” Theo said as nonchalantly as he could and he glanced at the other wolf to observe the reaction. He moved to the chair and sat down at the table. The tiniest bit of evil left in Theo knew Liam wouldn’t actively deny it in front of him.

 

Liam’s heart ticked two beats ahead, he held his breath for a split second and lifted his hand. He’d never used the claws since that night, not out of his own free will. They would always just slice through his nail beds, associated only with painful memories. Liam took a deep breath, _Theo all around,_ he curled his fingers into a ball and then flicked them out.  With an echoed clink, long and thick black tips shot out, glittering in the candle light.

 

He made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a laugh, half smiling half surprised. Liam flipped his hand from front to back. He never really bothered to look at them, to see what color they were or how long or sharp they were. The alpha claws differed from his beta form’s, stronger and thicker. Liam ran them along the seam of the can, it slit open easily with the help of the wolf’s strength.

 

He threw his gaze to Theo, beaming, and his beta returned it- a proud and fond twinkle in his eye. 

 

“There you go” Theo leaned down and nuzzled his face into the bend of his arm to hide the satisfied smile, but it still spilled over to his eyes. As much as Liam tried not to look, as much as he tried to ward off his own smile, he couldn’t… So, he just turned around, and they both grinned like fools to themselves.

 

* * *

 

They ate passing the can of beans between them, Theo side eyed the spoon but didn’t question it, assuming it held the same story as the cup. He guessed Liam didn’t have reason to get another one.

 

“Did you honestly think I would never come looking for you?” Theo asked bravely before taking a bite and sliding the can back to Liam. Brave? Perhaps he just had more nerve to ask the questions than Liam did.

 

Liam eyes widened as he took the can, “I didn’t think you’d find me,” he paused before taking a bite, “I never meant to run from _you,_ Theo” he said honestly and recalled all the nights he spent missing the face before him, his anchor.

 

“I know.” Theo said holding his hand out for the can and Liam slid it back to him. Because he _did_ understand, he never blamed Liam. He knew what had happened the minute Liam was gone, “Did it make it better? Running?” he asked, toying with the spoon.

 

“No, but when I started I couldn’t stop, and the further away I got, the less I could hurt anyone else.” Liam placed his fork down, staring at the ground.

 

“I wish you didn’t run _at all_ \- I don’t even know where the hell I am.”

 

Liam snorted, amazed at how their conversations still had the ability to go from serious to lighthearted in a matter of minutes, “This is Colorado, Theo”

 

“Holy shit.”

* * *

 

Liam by some miracle had a spare tooth brush that he offered to Theo along with the mattress, a blanket and a one of his sweaters. The thought of Theo wearing his shirt made the wolf inside stir with something Liam didn't understand. It's just a shirt?  _A shirt that would now smell like **him.**_

****

“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed Liam, it's fine.” He said stuffing the blanket back in Liam’s arms.

 

“No, hey listen... we can take turns, don't be difficult,” Liam said shoving the items back to Theo, "please?"

 

Arched eyebrow and all the wolf took it, spine tingling as their arms touched, “Okay. _Fine_ ” Theo said and turned away.

 

“Good” Liam replied, “Uhm, goodnight” _You could just..._ the wolf started but Liam cut it off with a quiet yelp.

 

“Night Liam.”

 

Theo flopped down, his tired body sinking easily into the mattress. He listened to Liam shuffling around the sitting area, quiet mumbles about how small the couch was. He closed his eyes but there was a part of his mind that refused to shut down, it kept listening to what Liam was doing. His new enhanced hearing picked up the most minute sounds- every rustle of fabric, every swallow, every breath, if he listened hard enough he’d probably be able to hear Liam blink. Instead of the flutter of eyelids he heard the soft patter of feet and his heart spiked, worry flooding over him that Liam was leaving. God, was this going to happen every time Liam was out of his sight?

 

“Theo??”

 

His heart gave him away.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

He felt like a complete idiot, so paranoid and vulnerable. But after chasing something for what apparently was two years and finally having it within arm’s reach, having gone through unimaginable things just to see it again… he couldn’t even blame himself for being terrified to lose it again.

 

“I worry that you’ll leave again” he whispered pressing his hands to his eyes, grateful that Liam couldn’t see his cheeks flush.

 

Liam screwed his eyes shut at the bitter pang of guilt that wafted from his pores, “Never again.”

 

“Okay.”

 

There was silence, only their hearts matching each other’s thump for thump, steady and slow. The wind whistled through the thin splits of the cabin walls, snow spattering down in soft clumps on the frail tin roof.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Stephy (@teenwolfchick) on Tumblr for letting me use her wet fish joke that I adjusted slightly for the fishing scene! 
> 
> "liam *in the middle of a stake-out*: do fish feel wet all the time?
> 
> theo: …
> 
> theo *whisper-yelling*: I’M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE
> 
> liam: sorry, sorry
> 
> theo *one minute later*: OH MY GOD, DO THEY?
> 
> liam: i know, right!"

 

Two weeks went by much faster than Liam realized yet here he found himself at the back end of it staring into emerald green eyes across from him at the table, having the usual morning coffee with his new housemate. With the dawn barely breaking, a dim peach hue seeped in through the door, warm and comforting. Fourteen days since that big wolf barged into Liam’s life and flipped everything on its head.

The two fell into an easy morning routine to pass each day, not with any intention to do so, it just happened. Liam would wake up first at request of the cooing doves on the rooftop, he’d make that one cup of coffee, and as if by clockwork he would hear Theo rustle up, yawn and stretch. He would even the blanket out neatly over the mattress or place it folded on the chair depending on where he slept that night then he’d puff the pillow out and pull Liam's thick jacket on.

Theo would shuffle into the kitchen, sleep-grinning most days, and sit down on the couch Liam had pulled up for him. It looked bizarre- the single couch chair and a frail little wooden stool at opposite ends of the table- Theo always sitting lower than Liam.

Every morning was a different thing, usually Theo would babble about some random nature facts, about the snow, the lakes or the wildlife. If Liam didn't know better he’d think Theo liked it up there… that maybe he wouldn’t mind staying. They’d gotten passed that awkward bump, and it almost felt like they were themselves again, teasing joking even bickering like they used to.

Liam had gotten Theo used to observing the sights outside the cabin. He let him focus his new enhanced hearing on the grass chafing together when the wind blew and the smell of the wood and earth beneath the snow. Liam marveled at the contentment that washed over Theo as he inhaled deeply. Little did he know that each time Theo drew that breath, it was Liam’s scent he took in.

This specific morning there were no random nature facts, or impossible quizzes that Theo made up as he went. Instead Liam challenged Theo to a silent staring contest when he caught him staring but not looking away when Liam met his gaze- it was really just a diversion from him blushing his ass off.

“No, okay, first one to laugh cleans the place tonight. Come on.”

“I’m not cleaning your shack Liam.”

“Shack?? Excuse me… anyway, so you admit you will lose?”

“No…” Theo spoke slowly and leaned back with a cocky grin “I don’t want to see you mope when I beat you.”

Liam stared him down anyway and Theo had no choice but to join in. Their lips twitched in the corners, eyes blinking way too fast to keep the laughter from breaking out. Theo bulged his eyes and Liam pressed his lips together, cheeks puffing with a held in laugh. But when Theo flared his nostrils, it was too much and the alpha burst out a bark slumping down on the table, his body shaking with giggles and Theo followed- quieter than Liam, distracted, because Liam laughing like that was just… he licked over his lips and the words were ready and they felt so right in that exact moment…

Liam gasped suddenly, his eyes darting passed Theo to the window and Theo sucked the words back down, “The sun is out! Wanna go fishing??”

Disbelief and a hundred questions fell over Theo’s face, “Fish? You can fish? Where did you even get a rod?”

“I mean it's not that hard and if you wait long enough something bites” He was so excited, his smile gleaming brighter than the sun peaking over the mountain top, “Something??” Theo asked his brows shooting up and Liam nodded so enthusiastically, Theo had no choice but to agree.

“Let me fix you a cup of coffee then we can head out. I think the lake is still frozen but there’s this huge rock that I can never pick up to smash it with, but maybe now that you-”

Theo interrupted him by taking the mug from Liam’s hands, “Or… we can just share this one?”

Maybe Liam gaped, maybe he made a strange sound that meant yes, who knew because all Liam saw was Theo turning the cup and placing his lips in the exact spot Liam’s had been seconds earlier, all he could hear was the wolf inside echoing a soft pleased murr at the sight.

And so, they passed the cup between them like they did everything else, and each time the one took a sip they tasted the other there and it lit a spark inside they had been hesitant to ignite. But now they _knew_ … they just didn’t know _how_.

* * *

 

Liam gathered a few dry logs from the back of the cabin to build a fire near the ice covered lake, everything was still white and the breeze chilly, not even the rays of the daring sun did much to warm them. Theo watched Liam grunt and moan about how heavy the logs were, oblivious to the fact that he could just amp his wolf up and carry the logs with one hand. Theo realised it must have become such a thing for him to do- suppressing the wolf- that his body just acted like that as a default. Human.

With the fire cracking to life at their feet, Liam dusted his hands and walked to the big rock, “You gonna help me or are you gonna keep staring?” Liam asked half irritated, he didn’t blame Theo though, the mountains were gorgeous.

Theo was sure he could pick the damn rock up himself but he cocked an eyebrow, hands emerging from the warm pockets of his coat, “Move over,” he shoved Liam a few steps up, “what’s the plan here?”

“Lift and toss. Break the ice” Liam said and nodded toward the frozen water. They scooped it up, human versus wolf, and propelled it into the lake. It broke a clean circle in the ice and slight cracks split out around it, they both smiled, satisfied and with childlike amusement.

Theo stared at him once again for a second too long. When Liam looked at him he snapped his mouth closed- he didn’t even realise it was open. But he wasn’t just staring at the way the sunlight carved diamonds into Liam’s blue eyes, he was staring with intent, purpose, “Hey Liam,” he said when the other wolf looked away reddened, head snapping back at the call, “can I see them again?”

“See what?”

“Your eyes,”

Liam’s words stumbled, “My eyes?” Confusion danced around on his face, looking at Theo as if to say ‘ _well here they are_ …’ but by the determined-half-exasperated look on Theo’s face Liam realized he was not talking about his born eyes, “Oh…”

“Please?”

Naturally his mind fibbed up a couple of excuses but Theo fixed him with a gaze he wouldn't easily escape from. And honestly, he knew Theo was putting it on, he knew he was making his eyes hooded, lips curling inward in this ridiculous way that kept you from saying anything but yes to whatever he wanted. Reminded Liam of the way he looked at him in that elevator way back, even then he couldn’t resist _‘… but I will fight with you’_. But what did he want to see it for? Just for shits and giggles?

Liam sucked in a deep breath, eyelids falling shut, he breathed even deeper when they closed. The wolf inside sniffed, its head nudging at Liam encouragingly, heart drumming with anticipation. Somewhere from deep inside Scott’s voice murmured, _It’s okay Liam._

Theo looked on, slightly concerned because from where he stood it seemed that Liam found it almost painful to do what he was about to do, he opened his mouth to speak when Liam’s eyes flew open, blazing scarlet. And fuck, it was _amazing_ , it was as if the entire field just stilled and stared.

“Wow” Theo whispered as the wind swept by, blowing Liam’s hair back in a movie-like fashion. A smile cracked around his mouth corners, one he couldn’t stop even if he tried and the alpha smiled back. His own eyes flicked blue and his wolf howled in response.

They stood there, breaths falling out in low amazed chuckles until Liam spoke, “Have you seen yours?”

Theo shook his head, the stupid smile still plastered on his face, “You don’t have a mirror dumbass”

“Do you wanna?”

This time the beta wolf nodded eagerly waiting for Liam on what to do next. “Come on!” Liam grabbed his wrist in passing, running uphill toward the tiny cabin, they stumbled through the tall grass, hearts pounding, not really knowing what’s next but excited, nonetheless.

Liam just about screeched to a halt in front of the window, the same window he had seen the red eyes in before, the same window he avoided whenever he felt overwhelmed just so he wouldn’t have to look at it. But this was different- if Theo was willing to face his past in the reflection of his eyes, then surely Liam had no excuse anymore.

“You ready?” Liam asked, Theo’s wrist still clasped in his hand and he nodded- because he _was_ ready but mostly because of how in awe of Liam he was in that moment, how his heart was skipping like a crazy pony, he could see the fear there but somehow it was far from his mind, in that moment Liam was free.

Liam turned to the window, fingers digging deeper into Theo’s arm, “One. Two….”

“Wait!”

“What??”

“On three or after three?”

“ _On_ three… obviously.”

They turned back to the window, this time counting together, “One. Two…. Three!” Both flipped on the wolf's eyes when they blinked and looked up at their reflections.

Theo leaned in closer, his lips parted slightly, “Oh, that’s _blue_ ," he said, “that’s really blue… does it get bluer the more people you've killed?”

Liam tried to hide the shock at the question, he couldn’t recall Theo ever saying anything so raw, in fact, he’d never spoken about his past before.  “I don’t think so Theo, I think that’s just standard edition” Liam answered because what else was he meant to say?

“Hmm…” Theo hummed with something like amusement but there was an undertone of regret in his voice. It certainly wasn’t something Liam wanted to hear.

“Theo, it doesn’t matter you know. It doesn’t matter what color they are, it doesn’t even matter _why_ they are like that…. Not to me anyway.” Liam said, scratching at a splinter in the wood not looking at Theo at all. The beta wolf was also looking away, luminescent blue now faded.

“It matters to some people, Liam. Some guy’s eyes are blue like this and no one cares. But someone like me… I walk back into Beacon Hills wearing these… You never escape it no matter how sorry you are.” He shook his head and tried casting his gaze even further away, the faint scent of salt swirling in the air.

“Derek’s eyes are blue… he’s still pack.”

“Yeah well Derek is hell of handsome so it doesn’t matter.” He replied with a small teasing smile.

“So are you…”

Theo made an inward choking sound and snorted, he turned on his heel, “C’mon, let’s go fish” he said before Liam caught the red blush creeping up his neck.

* * *

 

“Got to give it to you Liam, you have one heck of a back porch.” Theo stared out over the lake, amazed at how the ice glittered in the morning sun. Most of the time the reflection was too bright to look at. The sun peaked out lazily, framing the mountain with an orange glow.

“You should see it in summer, when it's all green and bright.” Liam said handing Theo a rod and some bait. There honestly wasn’t a lot that Liam knew about fishing, just that if you hold out long enough, you’d get lucky. He glanced nervously at the other wolf, “Do you know how to do this?"

“I mean, the Dread Doctors weren’t fond of fishing you know, between all the murders we rarely got out” He was joking but the guy knew how to keep a straight face that made Liam sweat even in the freezing cold, the alpha’s finger switched around his rod, his mouth opening and closing without a sound, “Liam, chill, I was kidding-”

“You really have the worst sense of humor ever Theo, honestly” Liam said yanking the bucket of bait from him and piercing it over the curve of this hook, he ignored the chortle and the shove coming from his right, hiding the stupid smile in the opposite direction.

“No Liam I have no clue how to fish, I find it kind of gross, actually.”

“Yeah okay. So you put the little hook thing through the worm like I did, see…” he held up the squished worm too close to Theo’s face and he jumped back, “Yeah! I can see it, now take it away, it’s disgusting!” Theo reeled back as the worm swung his way one time. And he would have done that a thousand times if it made Liam laugh like that each time.

Theo picked the worm up with the very tips of his fingers, mouth corners down-turned, he pressed it to the tip of the hook and slid the slimy critter through, “You don’t have to giggle like that.”

“Okay now, what?” he said with a sigh of relief. He couldn’t deny he was proud of the stupid worm on the hook, he’d never say it but he was.

“Now you throw the rope in the water and-”

“The rope? Do _you_ know how to fish?”

“No...”

Something inside Theo’s heart screamed with worry, less than panic but enough to make his heart pick up, “Liam how the hell did you survive out here for two years?”

To be frank, Liam couldn’t call what he had been doing ‘surviving’ at all, not when most days he wished the earth would swallow him whole and put him out of his misery, not when he spent the majority of his days up there wishing the sun never came back up… until…

“Liam?”

Until him.

“I kinda just did, I had no other option I guess.” Liam said rubbing a hand behind his neck, squinting at one of the sharp reflecting rays. That’s something Theo understood all too well.

Theo smiled at him warmly, even though he just wanted to pull him close and hug him until he couldn’t breathe, he just wanted to wrap his arms around him as much as he wanted to punch him. After all this time Liam still awoke that part of Theo that just wanted to protect. They’d only hugged one other time, and that was the night they defeated the hunters- Liam was already behind him when he stood up over Gabe’s body. Liam didn’t give him time to say anything, he grabbed him and held him for a long long time. They didn’t move or speak, they just stood there enveloped in each other. Theo dreamt about that hug almost every night since- he tried to imprint the feel of Liam’s arms around his body, how hot Liam’s cheek was through the thin material of his t-shirt as he leaned against him, and how, even with gun powder and blood hanging in the air, Liam was all he could smell.

The lines dangled down the tiny circle in the ice, the two wolves laid back against a rock, their asses wet and muddy but the rest of them rather comfortable. They sat close, arms pressed tightly together, and it was on fire where it touched but they wouldn’t move, not an inch. And even if one spoke the other barely heard a thing- the contact, even if through thick jackets were the only thing on their minds.

“Hey Theo,” Liam said following a long silence, leaning into him, “you think fish always feel wet?”

Theo blinked slowly and turned his grimacing face to Liam, “What the fuck?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

... Birds chirped and in the distance an elk or two bugled, the water dribbled over pebbles in the lake...

“Oh my god… Do they???” Theo finally shrieked, turning back to Liam.

“I know right?!”

They smiled again, too wide and too long until it wasn’t smiling anymore- until it turned to laughing and snorting and almost toppling over on top of the other, and unattractively gasping for breath, crying out in hysterical sobs how much of an idiot the other one was.

* * *

 

“You take too many showers, it's cold- you don’t need to shower twice a day Theo.” Liam said drying off the one plate they shared the fish on and placing it down on the counter, “You’re going to run up my water bill.” He chuckled to himself at how ridiculous it sounded, he doubted any municipality even knew he was up there.

The bundled-up pants Theo wore hit Liam in the back of the head and plopped down on the floor beside him, “I smell like a fucking fish… everywhere!” Theo tried for annoyance but Liam heard the laugh seeping through, “We are never fishing again. Ever.”

Liam stilled. He’d never heard Theo use ‘we’ when it came to the two of them, he kind of liked the way it sounded even if he knew Theo meant nothing by it, “Yeah well _we_ need to eat, so you gotta suck it up pretty boy.”   _Oh… fuck… Liam what the hell?? Are you insane??? What did you just say??_

Theo said nothing and Liam was too flustered to listen for an indication of what Theo’s heart was doing but he was certain his own could be heard all the way from town. The tap opened and water splashed onto the concrete, interrupted by Theo’s body stepping under it. He heard a faint hiss and felt bad that the water was so damn freezing. Liam turned and headed out with a cup of coffee before his filterless brain offered to keep Theo warm too.

Liam took a sip of the hot coffee blowing out a big cloud of steam when he greeted Steve, “Hey buddy,” he said as quietly as he could, Theo would think him properly insane if he caught him now, “I’m sorry I haven’t been checking up on you lately,” the spider wiggled in its web in response.

“It’s just that I don’t want him to think I’ve lost it you know, kinda weird that I talk to the wildlife. But I feel so bad not talking to you Stevie. I’m not crazy, am I? Am I nuts?”

Liam didn’t see Theo’s head poke around the corner, watching him, listening, since ‘ _Hey buddy_ ’. Theo secured the towel around his hips and moved closer to Liam, finding that his new wolf senses allowed him to move stealthier than before, he stopped just as Liam peered inside and saw him.

“What are you doing Liam??” he said in a way that made Liam’s stomach sink, like he already knew the answer…

 _Being bat shit crazy,_ Liam thought as he looked nervously between the corner and Theo, "Uh..."

Liam’s words failed and his cheeks glowed a bright red that he was sure would be visible even in the darkness. “Liam?!” Theo demanded again and Liam could smell the waft of fear and confusion coming from him.

“I… Theo…” Liam looked down, he might as well tell him, it was too late now and he couldn't lie even if he tried- Theo knows now and he’d go barreling down that mountain as fast as he came. Liam mumbled Steve’s name under his breath and it hardly even sounded like anything. His wishes of the earth swallowing him whole had never been more real.

“Who? Who is that?? Liam you’re scaring me and I was highschool serial killer! What is going on??” he took a step closer to let Liam know that even if he sounded hysterical he was still there, he wasn't going anywhere.

“It’s no one.” Liam said, and he winced looking up at the corner, his mind spewing apologies already, and he _must_ be crazy for feeling bad, but Steve isn’t no one… Steve is the only company he’s had for a long time. Liam took a deep breath, shoulders dropping. “It’s Steve. My… uh, It’s a spider, Theo. Okay?? I talk to a damn spider because I am lonely… I _was_ lonely… and he, or it or whatever was the only thing around for miles and it seemed a hell of a lot better than chasing after a fucking deer to say hi just for the sake of talking. Okay?? So... yeah… just-” he flailed his arms at his sides, sighing.

The first thing that came to Theo’s mind was the night a little hell spawn crawled under his skin in his truck- a few moments before he had been entirely at ease with the little creature, he let it roam on his arm and circle around his fingers. It felt a little less lonely in that cold truck for a few seconds, he didn’t feel as miserable. So he got it, he understood- Liam wasn’t crazy, he was just alone, and that was something Theo could relate to on every level. Hell, even if Liam _was_ insane, it wouldn’t make a difference to him.

The cool breeze bit his uncovered skin and Theo rubbed his hands up and down his arms, peaking up at the corner, “Oh. Okay well, get inside, it’s cold.” he said as if it was the most natural reaction on earth, ignoring the way Liam looked at him, meeting him with an arched brow when he didn’t move.

“Yeah…. Okay, inside. Okay.”    _It’s fine, he’s crazy too._

 

* * *

 

Midnight had long come and gone when Theo woke up, his throat dry and scratchy. He pushed up off of the mattress and headed to the kitchen. Liam’s steady thumping heart and soft snores rumbled from the front of the cabin. Theo walked in to find him huddled in a small heap on the single seater, curling into himself. His hands clenched between his thighs and the hairs on his arms raised and Theo realized with a twist of his stomach that Liam had been sleeping without a blanket all this time, even when it was his turn to sleep on the mattress he would leave the blanket out for Theo. And the pillow. _God, this stupid wolf._ Theo clenched his fists and stomped back to the room, he yanked the blanket off the bed and stormed back, stopping front of Liam and then he paused.

Theo had been infuriated a few moments ago but now, looking at Liam’s sleeping form- so peaceful and innocent, lips parted and slightly wet, his long hair falling across his forehead… _It must tickle or scratch,_ Theo thought, he stuck his hand out and brushed the hair away without touching Liam’s skin, hovering just above it as he swept the hair behind Liam's ear. He dropped his hand and stared for a while longer before shaking out the blanket and draping it over Liam, making sure to tuck it under his feet where they hung off the edge of the seat.

“Night, _pretty boy..._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Capricious – sudden and unaccountable changes in mood or behavior

Liam woke to the rain beating a down in a gentle rhythm on the tin roof. He forced one eye open rubbing at the other with his fist, not sure when last he slept that well. Looking down he realized it had to do with the warm blanket bundling at his feet as he stood up- Theo’s blanket. He picked it up and rushed to the room, the thought of Theo freezing during the night, pricked at his heart. Theo was supposed to feel safe here, safe and warm and not freezing his ass off for Liam's benefit. Liam came to an abrupt stop in the entrance- Theo was curled up in a small black bundle on the corner of the mattress, fully shifted.  Liam startled, it wasn’t what you’d expect to find, well anywhere, really. It was, however, rather enchanting and he stood watching the animal for a few more seconds before it sensed his presence.

 

The wolf huffed and yawned, stretching its body out before getting up. Liam turned around quickly as bones cracked and a human form appeared. He could feel Theo behind him, he could feel the heat of his body from across the room. The alpha swallowed and tried his best to contain his pounding heart. Theo was _naked_. Very naked. In his room. In his bed. His heart would have none of this 'keeping calm' nonsense- it galloped like a stampede of wild horses, he could barely hear his own thoughts. Liam tossed the blanket behind him, hearing it thump against Theo's body.

 

“Moring” the croaky, sleep dazed voice said entirely too close for Liam’s endurance, he took a step forward. Why was there no saliva in his throat? Why was his hand fisted in in the material of his pants?

 

“C-Coffee?” He blinked hard, willing himself to swallow. The blanket was draped back over his shoulder and Theo whispered next to him, “Only if you make it.” Oh god… what was happening?? Liam didn’t stay to find out, he darted back to the kitchen.

 

He busied himself with boiling the water and rinsing the cup again- the amount of dust the tiny place managed to collect always surprised him. Upon hearing water drip from someplace it shouldn’t have been, he glanced over at the loose roof corner. Rain was streaming in through the open flap, “Shit!!” he hurried over, placing a large metal bucket underneath it.

 

“That needs to be fixed. It’s concerning.” Theo said leaned against the doorframe, arms folded across his bare chest but now fully clothed below. Liam thanked the stars- he would have had to drink his coffee on the far side of the mountain if Theo had decided to have coffee naked or he’d probably choke.

 

“It’s fine, it has been fine for years.”  Liam bit out. He realized he may have grown overly attached to his little cabin, it was after all the only thing he's had for years. So what if the roof was a little loose, so what if it wasn’t perfect, it was home. _Home?_ The wolf growled, _you know where home is Liam…_ Liam balled his fists, why was this wolf reminding him of all that now, he just wanted to have a nice day… with Theo. He dreaded the ‘Are you coming home’ talk. It haunted him every day, Liam didn’t know if he wanted to go back, he didn’t know if Theo wanted to go back. And to be honest the thought of facing everyone he left behind, _abandoned,_ made him sick to his stomach. He knew, however, that he couldn’t hide up there forever- not anymore. He’d have to deal with it sooner or later, but by the way all the blood drained from his face and how his claws dug into the back of the chair beside him, it was obvious that it was not going to be any time soon.

 

“Hey, hey… I’m sorry, we don’t need to fix it right now... when you’re ready okay?”

 

_We._

 

That voice- his anchor. Like a scolded puppy, the wolf inside submitted, settling back in its place. Liam’s shoulders dropped and he turned back to Theo, “It’s not that, sorry. We can fix, I still have some supplies in the back from when it was built.”

 

Theo had started with their cup of coffee, “Wait, you _built_ this place? With your hands? By yourself?” there was an amazement on his face that Liam had never seen before, took him a few moments to refocus and answer.

 

Liam took his seat by the table on his crooked bar stool and Theo sat down on his couch chair “Uh, yeah, but not by myself, there was a man up here when I first arrived. Old native guy, he helped… and then disappeared.” Liam remembered how angry and alone he felt when the man vanished but soon after that Steve arrived and he had someone to speak to again. Even if that was a little crazy. He didn’t care, and apparently neither did Theo.

 

“That’s impressive Liam,” He smiled into the cup taking the first sip, “because it’s not Lego blocks you know…I'm surprised-” Theo made tiny building motions with his fingers and his eyes twinkled. Liam kicked wildly, aiming for Theo’s legs under the table but he had them pulled up safely underneath him, Liam missed and kicked the underside of the table, rattling everything atop it. Theo grinned and ignored Liam’s curse, sliding the coffee mug across the table. He turned it so that the place he drank from faced Liam, and the alpha accepted it that way and lifted the cup to his mouth.

 

“Liam, you know you don’t need to give me all your stuff, right? You didn’t need to freeze without the blanket every night.” Theo said veering from the subject entirely as he watched Liam take a sip. Theo assumed that Liam felt guilty, he assumed the clothes and the blanket and the fact that he offered everything to Theo before he had any himself was all part of the guilt Liam felt over leaving. He knew there were things eating Liam up inside and he also knew that when the new alpha was ready, they’d talk about it. For now, being there with him was enough, the sound of his heartbeat all around, was enough.

 

“I want to though. It makes me feel good. Makes me feel like I’m doing something right.” _Just let me take care of you,_ was what Liam's mind was screaming. He had been feeling this need to make sure Theo was taken care of since he bit him, a strong desire to make sure Theo was never at any discomfort.

 

Liam licked the coffee from his lips and pushed the mug back across the table. When Theo took it, he placed his hand over Liam’s where it was cupped around the warm mug, “I’m fine Liam, I’m a werewolf. I’ll pretty much survive anything… and besides, you do plenty things right.”

 

Liam's eyes dropped to where Theo’s cold hand rested over his warm one, and god, he’d have cold hands touch him every day for the rest of his life if it always felt like this. He thought his arm had gone numb, and he wondered with all his mind if Theo felt it too, if the pull was just as overbearing for Theo as it was for him. He became aware of his mouth closing and opening, grasping for words of which there was none.

 

Theo saw him tense and pulled his hands away but two warm ones pulled them back, cupping over his and curling them around the cup, “Your hands are cold.” Liam whispered questioningly, mind racing, eyes fixed on where their skin touched, “Yeah…” Theo breathed, he however, looked between Liam and the cup wanting to take a sip but also never wanting to move his hands ever again, he’d stay like that for all eternity if he could.

 

After what felt like minutes but must have only been seconds, Liam withdrew his hands and glanced up with slow blinking eyes. He sat back and watched Theo turn the cup back around, licking around the rim where Liam had spilled when he drank. Eyes locked and lips slowly separating, he realized he’s been holding his breath for far too long. He pushed back the chair and inhaled a sharp lung full of air, “Fuck, uh… I need to… I gotta…” He rubbed along his jaw, fingers tangling in his thick beard, “I gotta shave!” he said and rushed off to the bathroom.

 

What a lie. 

 

Once there, he realized he would have to follow through with it, not that he would mind getting rid of the monstrosity on his face, it had gotten entirely too long even for a mountain man. Liam rummaged through the small basket he kept his toiletries in, finding a silver blade. He examined it and couldn’t remember the last time he used it if it meant he had to count days, could have been months in fact. He’d given up on shaving since there was really no one who would notice, anyway.

 

The next item he searched for was a mirror, and of course the search came up empty, the one he used to own was broken in a fit of rage, its pieces now buried somewhere behind the cabin… back when he still thought he could escape the overwhelming pain by pretending nothing ever happened. Liam shook his thoughts back to the present, looking around the bathroom for anything he could see himself in.

 

“What are you doing?” Theo asked behind him. Liam could feel that condescending smile burn into the back of his head.

 

“I… can’t find a mirror… to shave.” he said holding up the razor blade. Theo pondered for a few silent moments, his eyes cast down to the ground.

 

“Let me do it.” There wasn’t any question in Theo’s tone, and he didn’t wait for an answer either. He took a step toward Liam, taking the blade from his hand. Liam’s fingers opened easily and without protest, with his other hand he reached in to the basket and handed the shaving foam to Theo. “Okay.” he said meeting the wolf’s eyes.

 

Theo stuffed the washcloth in the drainage hole and ran the water, mindlessly testing for it to get warm before remembering that there _was_ no hot water. He glared at Liam, and the alpha snorted and back leaned against the wall.

 

“Oh hey, can you grab a chair and not just stand there looking cute?” Theo asked wetting the blade, arcing his brow up at Liam, he pretended to ignore how broad Liam’s shoulders looked when he folded his arms across his chest like that, or how his upper arms still bulged even after the weight loss.

 

Liam made a strange noise in the back of his throat and turned away, ready to tell Theo to stop saying things like that before he choked to death on his own saliva, but truth was he never wanted him to stop, he rather wished he had the courage to say things like that back… _Flirt, Liam, that’s the word you’re looking for._ Liam paused in his tracks, shocked at his own thoughts. _What??_ Was Theo flirting with him? Were they flirting with each other?? _Oh shit._ Maybe they _were_ … he hadn’t realized. Well Theo was definitely doing something along those lines, but Liam wasn’t sure what exactly _he_ had been doing, what signals had he been giving Theo? The right ones he hoped. He really hoped. Liam’s heart flipped, and a smile tugged at his mouth corners, something twirled excitedly in his gut, maybe they could finally….

 

“I swear Liam…”

 

“Yeah, yeah keep your pants on.” _Or don't..._ "Ah!?" he yelped and spun around to get the chair. He knew the look on Theo’s face, he didn't even need to see it.

 

Liam returned with the wooden stool after a few moments, placed it front of the basin and took a seat. Theo walked around to face Liam, razor clamped between his teeth, eyes flicking over Liam’s face. He eyed Theo with nervous anticipation as he sprayed a white blob of foam into his palm, he placed the can down and pressed his hands together, spreading the foam out before he slowly brought them up to Liam’s face.

 

Suddenly Liam’s heart was thundering like something wild as Theo reached for him, his fists curled into his sweats when the cold fingertips touched his face, smoothing down from his cheekbones to the dip of his jaw and back up again in slow small circles, “Sorry… still cold.”

 

Liam shook his head, “It’s fine.” he hoped his voice didn’t sound as delirious as he felt, he couldn’t hear himself over his stampeding heart… no wait…. _That’s not my heart_ …. _It’s his._ He realized Theo was trembling, a part of Liam worried about those unsteady hands holding a blade to his neck, but there wasn’t anyone he trusted more than Theo to do it. He watched Theo lather the cream around, covering every inch of his thick beard, massaging it into his skin.

 

“Why is your heart beating like that?” Liam finally dared to ask, shutting his eyes as Theo smeared another circle of cream into his neck.

 

“Why is yours?” Theo mumbled passed the razor still clamped in the corner of his mouth as he ran his thumb over Liam’s Adams apple.

 

“I… don’t know.” _Because you're ridiculous and you smell amazing and you are touching me and I think I'm having a stroke._

 

“Me neither.”

 

Theo rinsed his hands and moved from where he stood beside Liam to where he could face him, his hip pressed against Liam’s knee, eyes asking warily for Liam to let him stand between his legs – _For better access he told himself_. The surrounding air thickened as Liam opened his thighs and let Theo in. Their hearts pounded, they weren’t sure which was working harder.

 

“You sure you want to take all of this off? I mean, I like it clean but-”

 

“Then take it off!” Liam said almost too fast, voice pitching slightly. _Gosh, Liam your idea of flirting sucks_. Theo smiled and took the razor from his mouth, “Okay then.” Theo gently nudged Liam’s head to the side pulling the skin of his cheek taut. He moved the razor in smooth downward strokes along Liam’s face, taking extra care around all the dips and edges, making an extra effort to keep the blade steady when he felt Liam’s hands rest on his hips.

 

Liam's hands were still, fingers not so much as twitching- he figured it would only be fair that he got to touch Theo too. So, there they were in absolute silence, sharing not so much as a glance at the other, the simple touches slowing the raucous beating of their hearts.

 

Their hearts had settled by the time Theo wiped Liam’s face with the washcloth, he stood back and grinned wide, “There’s the Liam I remember! Welcome back!”

 

“It feels weird.” Liam patted his now smooth cheeks smiling back at Theo, “Thank you for…. helping.” Liam said pushing off the chair. 

 

“Yeah, no problem. Maybe I should get rid of mine too-” and again, before Theo could finish his sentence Liam grabbed the razor from his hands and ran like a mad man to the front door and tossed it so far into the snow-covered planes outside that no one would ever find it again.

 

“Dunbar?!” Theo stumbled out into the living area, a surprised laugh bubbling from his chest, “I wanted to use that!?”

 

“Yeah well it’s gone now.” Liam said, shrugging, his hands doing a strange dance before setting on his sides. He liked Theo’s beard, he looked good with it. Different, but good, and it wasn’t so long that it warranted a shave anyway… yeah no, he just didn’t want Theo to shave it off. He looked up to find the beta wolf staring him, proper staring, his smile now gone and his eyes skating over Liam’s face and down to his chest, “Theo…”

 

Theo frowned and quickly looked away, he spun around and headed back to the bathroom “I… need to take a shower.”

 

* * *

 

 

Theo threw himself against the wall, head tossed back. He wasn’t sure when his breathing picked up or why he was blushing after having looked at Liam like that. A deep and shaky breath escaped him as he heard the front door open and Liam's voice greeting Steve. He turned the water on, listening to it splatter down hard on the cement floor, he pushed his pants down and stepped out of it, ignoring the raging need in his chest to roar as loud as he could, like that would satiate the yearning inside him. 

 

He let the water run down his back in a freezing stream finally allowing himself to focus on his aching erection. Fangs slipped from his gums and his breathing fought within the confines of his chest. All he could see in front of him was Liam’s perfect skin, his blue eyes. All he could feel were his hips pressed against the inside of Liam’s thighs… Liam’s hands on his hips, the skin still on fire where they rested.

 

His hand travelled downwards, a will of its own. He knew it wouldn’t take much at all, not with _Liam’s_ scent all around him, with his heartbeat just steps away- Liam was the only person that had ever done it for Theo in _that_ way. He felt guilty about picturing Liam like this, dirty almost, but at the same time it felt so right. He took himself in hand and shivered at his own touch, his fingers dumb around himself after so long. He gripped tighter to still the trembles and leaned against the wall with his arm, stroking down his length.

 

One stroke- _Liam’s face, his lips, the way he always licks them before speaking._ Two strokes- _his hands, the veins that stand out when he grips the coffee mug._ Three strokes, _his…. all of him, everything… every last inch. The way he smells, he way he smiles, his voice, his body. Fuck!........Fuck._

Theo shuddered and bit down on his arm to stifle the desperate sound that threatened to escape his chest as his knees buckled. He curled his fingers around his tip and gathered the release before it could spray everywhere, “ _Liam_ …. _Shit, …. Oh my god._ ” He whispered and gasped with a shaky voice as he steadied himself on the wall, his muscles relaxed and his mouth parted with pleasure. He pulled his hand away with a gentle pat to his softening erection and let the water wash away the evidence.

 

* * *

 

_“…. would have been cool if we had t.v up here Steve, you don’t know what that is, but man,… it’s amazing.”_

Liam had just finished his conversation with Steve when Theo returned, he found the alpha on the short steps leading up to the cabin, his arms rested on his knees, empty coffee mug dangling around his fingers as he peered out over the snowy canvas in front of him. 

 

It never ceased to amaze Liam just how beautiful it was, awakening a nostalgia in him that could tip either into darkness or fall back into the light depending on Liam’s mood- and in that moment he was happy.

 

Theo approached from behind. He dropped down on the step next to Liam and pulled the jacket’s collar up. The rain had stopped, but the winds chilled to the bone, sweeping the snow up in small tornadoes all over the landscape. “I grabbed your last clean t-shirt.” Theo said pulling at the hem of the shirt he had on and Liam nodded. “You look deep in thought.” Theo said shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

Liam looked over at Theo in his light blue sweater and frowned, there was a relaxed aura around him, something that hadn’t been there since he arrived, a sudden relief of sorts “Just thinking about how huge and open it is up here,” he said pointing at the lake in front of them, “I’d probably pass out trying to run a lap around it.” Both looked to where the frozen water sat in the middle of the two huge mountains, circled by open stretches of snow covered land.

 

“Wanna try?” Theo said taking the cup from Liam’s hands. He placed it down on without waiting for an answer, “Come on, I’ll race you all the way around, or are you scared?” Theo mocked unzipping the jacket and shrugging it off. He sprinted, spinning on his heel to mock Liam, “Already losing Dunbar?”

 

Liam shot up and tossed his own coat off, he ran toward Theo at natural speed. The new beta sped up, and took the first corner easily, laughing as Liam battled to gain speed on him, Theo again realized Liam wasn’t using his body to its full abilities. Unacceptable. “Is that all you have?? Is that what you call running??” He made a cocky twirl in the snow speeding up yet again, “You run like a snail on steroids Liam!!!”

 

“You talk a lot of trash Theo!!” Liam yelled and his jog turned into a sprint, still human, but gaining on Theo. Theo turned, running backward, “Aw look at little snail boy, hey boo-boo!” he teased and yelped when Liam finally let the wolf out and burst forward, eyes flashing a brief crimson as he smiled and overtook Theo who watched him run by in amazement.

 

“Yeah, you better run!!! Because If I catch you….” Theo tailed him, never really catching up- the alpha was fast and agile, gliding across the long stretch of land easily and Theo could tell he wasn’t even at full speed yet.

 

Liam yelled over his shoulder, “You couldn't catch me if you _tried_ chimera boy!!!” he shifted his weight to one side to glide easily around the edge of the lake, starting another lap.

 

“I’m not… a chimera… anymore… asshole!!!” Theo breathed out harshly between the phrases, the grin never leaving his face as he watched Liam run.

 

In that moment it felt like home to Liam. It felt like it always had. Theo calling him an asshole, teasing him and trying to push his buttons- as strange as it was it gave Liam comfort, made him feel safe.

 

“Yeah? Well, you run like one!!” Liam laughed and leaped over a large rock, landing perfectly on his feet at the other side. Theo was falling behind but he couldn’t be the loser, not when he started the race, although looking at Liam run so effortlessly around the lake, smiling into the wind- using the wolf as his own… perhaps Theo had already won.

 

Theo bent down mid-run and scooped up a handful of snow and hurled it at Liam, the blow did nothing but make the alpha jump and scream, “Are you… _Uhg! Ow!!_ Are you hurling snow at me!!??”

 

Theo didn’t answer, he kept running and chuckled under his breath, he tossed another snowball at Liam. It hit his shoulder with a hard thud but didn’t slow him down in the least.

 

Liam glanced around, taking a wide bend at full speed, “Theo! You’re a jerk! .... Cheater!!!... Liar!!!”

“Liar???” Theo barked out a laugh, "Just yelling random insults now huh?!" his face hurt from smiling too much and his fingers and cheeks were bright red and frozen. He tripped over a snow-covered rock but fortunately maintained his balance, he scooped up two large handfuls of snow before straightening up and pressed it together. With all his strength he cannoned it at the running alpha. That was the blow that finally had Liam skipping a few steps, he didn’t fall but he stumbled enough to slow him down to Theo’s pace.

 

Theo collided into Liam’s side and sent them both flying, they hit the ground and rolled a few meters down a small hill, tangled in one another, before coming to a stop. They groaned and coughed through the laughter, “Oh my god, you animal…. I can’t believe….” Liam panted for breath, falling silent once he realized that he was on top of Theo. Their eyes locked, smiles still lingering and their breaths met in a big white cloud.

 

Theo’s eyes travelled down to Liam’s lips, chests heaving, noses just inches apart. Was this the moment? Was this when he was meant to do something. Theo thought that if ever there was a perfect time to kiss Liam, it would be like this, all flushed and breathless on a blanket of soft snow.

 

His heart thundered, because Liam leaned down a fraction, his head tilting slightly as his eyes traced down to Theo’s mouth, “Liam…” he breathed, becoming aware of how close their bodies were, how warm it was between them, the way they smelled being so close together- the mix of their scents was enough to get drunk from and Theo’s head buzzed.

 

The alphas eyes shot back up to Theo’s, flicking from one green iris to the next, his pupils blown wide even in the clear light of day. But then there was a deafening crack that Liam thought for a moment may have been his heart bursting from his ribcage until hard rain poured down on them and the sky roared again. “Shit! Come on!” Liam pushed up and held a hand out to Theo, helping him to his feet, silently cursing the heavens for ruining the moment, whatever it was.

 

They ran back to the cabin, dripping wet and cold, stumbling inside just as another cloud broke overhead. Everything clung to them, their pants, their hair, their shirts, and even if werewolves couldn’t get sick Liam was pretty sure they would suffer some kind of ailment from this, “We need a fire and we need to get out of this." he said stripping off his soaked shirt, he motioned for Theo to do the same. Theo pulled it over his head and tossed it at Liam. They both paused and looked down at their pants, seemingly deciding at once it would be safer for all concerned to keep the soaked trousers on.

 

Liam got some firewood ready and started the fire so that they could dry off, he hung their wet shirts over the chair and placed it beside the fire. As he tossed another match onto the logs the flames grew and spread its heat out into the small space, instantly warming their frozen skin.

 

Liam dropped down to the floor on his stomach, resting his chin on his arms. Theo followed, mirroring Liam’s position on the floor, he was about to speak when he saw the alpha’s eyes flutter closed despite his efforts to keep them open. Theo, instead, stayed quiet and let Liam fall sleep- he knew he couldn’t have had a proper night’s rest while cramped up on the single couch. He watched Liam’s features soften as he drifted away, long breaths flowing from his parted lips and the warm glow of the fire dancing at his back. The only sounds around were the cracking flames and the drumming of the rain outside. It wasn’t long before Theo too, submitted to slumber.

* * *

Theo woke with a jolt, his limbs jerking awake too fast for his brain, eyes opening to complete cold and darkness. Liam's scent was faint… too faint. Theo jumped to his feet trying to make sense despite the sleepy haze he found himself in and the tightening in his chest…. _He's gone… Liam's gone._

 

He growled forcing himself to focus when his brain spewed only panic, his hands trembled at his sides. Luminous blue circles pierced through the blackness and the inside of the cabin came into view, but Liam was nowhere to be found- not in the bedroom that Theo stumbled into and not in the bathroom.

 

He stilled trying to place a heartbeat with no prevail. How…. How could he just leave again, how _dare_ he do this for a second time??? Theo's wolf surfaced, lapping at the anger like a ravaged animal, the hurt completely swallowed by rage.

 

“Liam?!” at first his voice was desperate..... “Liam.” and then it was flat and detached as the door clicked open behind him. Theo flung his body around, nostrils flaring at the heartbeat he'd been searching for.

 

“Theo?!” Liam halted in the doorway upon seeing the blue eyes, his own still blazing red from his trip into the woods. Theo smelled like fear and disappointment but mostly sharp, like burning charcoal and hot ash… like fury.

 

“Where did you go??!!” he lashed out, he screamed, fists balling at his sides.

 

Liam reeled back, surprised by the hardness in Theo's voice and his sudden changed demeanor- cold and masked like he used to be. Liam pointed to the smoldering logs in the fireplace, “Theo… I went to get more firewood, I didn't thi-”

 

“Yeah, Liam you didn't think. Do you ever?? Let me answer that for you- No, you don't. You don't _care_ what your actions do to other people do you??” the words sliced through Liam, opening a rugged scar.

 

“What the hell are you talking about Theo!?!” Liam's own reserve of patience he held for the man in front of him wore out, jaw clenched tight.

 

“You left!!! Without saying anything _Liam_!” the way Theo said his name felt wrong, it felt off and twisted and Liam didn't like it one bit. Theo glared at him and his shoulders squared, “.... just like you did before, just like a….”

 

Liam's insides froze, everything froze and what he'd always thought himself to be now hung on the tip of Theo's tongue, “like a coward?” he gritted out breathing through his nose.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Fuck you Theo.”

 

Theo snorted loud and menacing, and stormed passed Liam, grabbing the shirt that had now dried from the chair. He knocked the door nearly off its hinges as he fled into the darkness outside.

 

“Where are you going Theo!? ........Theo!!”

 

“How does it feel Liam?! Huh?? How does it feel when someone just walks away from you??”  there was a smile on his face but it was nothing like the gentle ones he had shared with Liam over the last few weeks, “You fucking left me!! You _left_!!”.

 

Liam called his name once more but was waved off with an angry fling of Theo's arm as the sound of his heart got fainter the further he ran into the night and the he finally vanished into it.

 

And there Liam stood, more alone than any other time on that mountain, angry and bitter and heartbroken. His body trembled and the salt of his tears stung his lips as it ran over the place his fangs pierced into. He wanted to run after Theo, chase him, maybe even punch some sense into him but something inside kept him frozen in place… that old, familiar, _nauseating_ feeling. The one that snuck up on him when he least expected it to- the one that, when it came, consumed all of him and leaving him helpless…. Guilt.

 

Only difference this time was that the only person who could stop it from eating Liam alive, just so happened to be the one who sparked it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Liam stumbled back in the dark, like he was pushed but it was really just the force of his heart shattering, the devastation of Theo's words and actions, the look on Theo’s face, the way he looked at him. He clutched his chest, claws near and ready to dig in; the tears were hot and streaming now and the ones that didn't make it onto his cheeks choked up in his throat, eating his breath away.

 

He fell to his knees, and finally his claws could pierce into something. The mattress tore under his fingers and the sound ripped through the silence around him, he’d taken the extra heartbeat for granted, he’d grown too used to it being there and now that it wasn’t, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do without Theo… yes, he’d been alone before, for much longer than these few seconds but still... this was the extent of Theo Raeken, this was the extent of how attached Liam was to him and now he left.

 

Liam groaned as the pain became physical, ripping through his chest with unrelenting force and he sobbed out loud, his body jerked against the held in tears. But suddenly that wasn’t enough, suddenly his entire mind screamed at him. _Coward. He hates you, you should have known. He hates you just like they all do, for killing Scott._ “I didn’t… I didn’t kill him…” _He’s gone because of you, you let him die. You left Theo... like when they tossed him into hell, and he’s broken because of that, you did this, you did all of this. All this pain? It’s yours, you deserve it. You can't cry Liam._

 

Scott’s face in his final moments flashed through Liam’s mind- the dark eyes that had gone glassy, the blood bubbling from his mouth, spurting out when he breathed his last breath- Liam screwed his eyes shut and just dug his claws deeper into the mattress, no longer able to control the cries leaving his mouth.  He saw himself running away that night, he remembered Theo’s voice calling for him in the distance, how he ignored it and kept going. Liam trembled beyond control, there was no air left in his lungs and he heaved and gasped as if for his life.

 

“No, help… please please please… _help me…”_ He didn’t recognize his own voice, so high and hoarse. He tried again but still there was no air coming in and it seemed the few words he spoke exerted the last ounce energy he had to fight. He slumped down on all fours, head hanging low and all he could say, all he could feel was _sorry_. Over and over and over against his roaring heart as he felt himself slip, and the darkness got even darker if that was possible, swallowing all of him… deeper and deeper until his ears rang silent and his mind went numb, until he didn’t care that his hands were shaking like the trees in a blizzard....

 

Until two arms wrapped around him and scooped him up, until a warm body pressed tightly to him, until the words cut through the silence in his ears, “You’re okay, you’re okay…. I’m here. I’m here now. Shhh.” He couldn’t open his eyes but he breathed when the voice commanded him to, he breathed in time with the gentle strokes through his hair. A hand rested on his heart tapping slowly in rhythm with the heart that beat in his ear, “Calm down…. Shhhh, I’m here. You’re okay.” Liam let his body relax against the other one, his tired arms falling to his sides only to be gathered and pulled close to the other body, rocking back and forth at a slow and lulling pace.

 

_Theo._

 

Warm lips pressed to his sweat-damp forehead, a hand still carded through his hair and he was told to sleep, to be still, not to worry. He was promised that he would never have to face anything like what he just had, again. That he’d never be alone again. Liam curled his fist into the light blue t-shirt, begging it to stay right there where it was.

 

“I’m not going anywhere Li. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

 

The lips pressed to Liam's forehead again before he passed out.

 

* * *

 

It hurt when he opened his eyes, seems werewolves healed from all but emotional pain. Liam looked around slowly, eyes not wanting to be awake just yet. His bare arms and chest were warm, and he was comfortable for someone who had been sleeping in a sitting position the whole night. Liam didn’t want to move because he knew where he was- in Theo’s arms, hugged tight to the wolfs body. Theo’s arms locked snugly around Liam’s shoulders and his chin rested atop the alphas head, soft, low snores rolled from his throat. It was deliriously peaceful and Liam could barely recall the torture he endured not so long ago. He did, however, remember the arms scooping him up, wrapping tightly around him, they never let go, did they? Theo held him the entire night, he slept with Liam curled up in his lap like a puppy.

 

He breathed in deep, taking in their scents and he remembered how it smelled combined like that the day before in the snow, and then again when he could hardly breathe, how it calmed him… one more time that Theo saved him, one more time which Liam could never repay him for. He wondered if Theo was still mad at him, it kind of felt moot now that they were laying wrapped up in each other’s arms, it seemed that all had been forgiven the moment Theo ran back in there.

 

Liam shifted, pressing his side deeper into the wolf’s chest and closed his eyes again. Aside from Theo’s heartbeat the only other sounds were that of the birds outside, chirping and rustling around in the tree tops- peaceful and calm as they were every other day. But suddenly a louder commotion of feathers had Liam jerking up in response and Theo jolted awake with him, “What?? What happened??” his arms snapped loose from where they curled around Liam and the alpha shifted to his knees and motioned for Theo to listen.

 

The wolf sat up and focused his hearing but he only heard the birds settle back into place. He looked at Liam questioningly and Liam shook his head, “Thought I heard something outside, must have been an animal… the elks wander up here sometimes.” He turned his gaze back to Theo, “I’m sorry I woke you up.” Liam mumbled gauging Theo’s reaction but there was nothing to worry about, just as he had suspected- his beta’s expression was soft and sleepy and not a trace of the anger from the previous night was visible.

 

Theo smiled softly at him, rubbing his eyes, “It’s fine. Are you….” He seemed to search for the right word and he didn’t quite know what it was, he’d never seen someone in such a state as Liam was the night before, “are you okay?”

 

Liam studied him for a moment, taking in just how handsome he was with his barely awake eyes and long messy hair. “I am now.” Liam said because it was the truth and he reached for Theo’s hand squeezing lightly, _“I am now…”_

 

Theo nodded and stroked a thumb over Liam’s palm. He got up slowly and made his way to the kitchen and Liam followed. Theo pulled open the small cabinet, “What have you got to eat in here?” I’m starving.”

 

“Not much. We will have to make a trip to town soon, I’ve run out of everything.”

 

“You have money??” Where did you get money??”

 

“I uh, took my dad’s before I left. The only thing I thought through.” Liam scoffed and reached over Theo's shoulder, pulling out a packet of biscuits. Theo eyed him tiredly but said nothing further. Liam made coffee, they opened the biscuits and Liam pulled up the stool and slipped his t-shirt on. He watched as Theo moved the couch chair to the spot next to Liam as opposed to the opposite end of the table like they usually sat, he sat down close enough for them to touch despite sitting at different heights. 

 

Liam swallowed his bite and pushed the coffee over to Theo, he glanced quickly at the beta. His face was still placid and soft, he was still sleepy and he looked warm enough that Liam wanted to climb back into his arms. But first, there were things that Liam needed to say, things that should have been said ages ago.

 

“Theo…”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I am sorry for leaving, last night and back then. I’m sorry for leaving _you._  It made nothing better, didn’t fix anything, but I was scared. I was scared of hurting you, I was scared of what happened to Scott...” his voice broke. “I felt the alpha spark enter my body, I felt _him_ there… and I knew I would never be over it, I’d always see his face everywhere even if he wasn’t there, in all of you guys…. I’d always have his blood on my hands, sticking to my skin, smelling like _poison_ … remember how hard it was to wash off?” Liam said softly wiping over his arm.

 

Theo’s thoughts drifted back to the night he helped Liam shower after Scott was killed, he scrubbed and scrubbed, maybe more for Liam’s benefit than to get the blood off, he knew the then-beta needed to feel clean, to feel rid of the blood. He knew it wouldn’t do anything to change what had happened, but he didn’t know what else to do for Liam. He had tucked Liam into bed in clean clothes and promised him that he’d be right back- he needed to get the blood-drenched clothes out of the house, he needed to get the smell of Scotts blood out of the house. Liam didn't need to be reminded of it any longer, he only needed to grieve and rest. Theo had only gone to the backyard and started a fire in the pit to burn the soiled garments- he wasn’t even gone for all that long, he thought- but when he had returned Liam was gone. His bed was made up and his cellphone abandoned, those were the only indications of what had happened, but Theo knew immediately.

 

“I do. I remember how hard I had to wash to get the stain off. You still smelled like it afterwards that’s why I went to burn the clothes.” Liam’s head snapped to Theo… he never knew…

 

“I also remember coming back to your room but you were gone… I remember how I fell over my own feet to get to you.” Theo looked down smiling bitterly. “I left my car keys upstairs but there was no time to go back. Maybe if I did, I would have caught you. Maybe then…” he sighed and looked back at Liam finding a pained frown between his eyes.

 

“I am sorry, Theo. I never wanted to hurt you, I didn’t want to hurt _anyone_. I didn’t mean to run like a coward-”

 

“Liam, you’re not a coward. And yes, I know what I said.” Theo shook his head and pushed the coffee back to Liam, “You’re not. You were a teenager, a kid. You were scared.”

 

“It made you mad. It hurt you.”

 

“I _was_ angry, yes. But I was more afraid than anything else, I think. I’ve never had an anchor before, I didn’t know what it meant. It was only after you were gone that I realized.”

 

“I didn’t know.” Liam reached for where Theo’s hand rested on his thigh under the table, “Am I still? Your anchor?” Theo nodded, still looking down but his eyes were fixed to where Liam’s hand covered his. Theo’s fingers were frozen, not just from the cold. Liam didn’t take his hand away until Theo got up and headed for the bathroom to relieve himself. He stopped by the door.

 

“Li…. I’m sorry… about last night.”

 

Liam inhaled, “So am I.”  He got up, clearing the table of the few things scattered on it as Theo disappeared into the bathroom. He glanced at the front door, pausing before he took another step.

 

“Hey Theo... I’m just stepping outside. I’m right here.  Okay?”

 

He could hear the smile in Theo’s voice, “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

_She sailed through the woods following the two steady heartbeats until the small cabin came into view. Two steady hearts meant their guards were down making her task much easier to accomplish.  She moved quietly knowing that the slightest movement would alert them to her presence. Their scents hung thick in the air- both were wolves, not like the informants had said, not a hybrid. Doesn’t matter anyway, he’s not who she is after. She walked on, wondering if the alpha is big, how strong, is he aggressive? The rogue got distracted by her own thoughts and put her heel down too hard, cracking a branch under her boot, it sent the birds fluttering wildly in the tree tops, they chirped an angry tune at the disturbance below. She froze, cursing under her breath and waited for them to settle before she moved again. There was no movement in the cabin, but she could now hear muffled voices. They’re awake. Great. The lone wolf hid behind a tree, she waited, listening to their conversation… it was emotional and that meant the alpha’s mind wouldn’t be alert. All she needed to do was move fast, take it and leave. She stifled a tremble, she had never killed anyone, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. A lone wolf has a permanent target on their backs, everyone knows that. She needed a pack, but to have a pack you had to be an alpha…. And well, she’s hardly even a beta.  She waited for about half an hour, her skinny body pressed to the tree, until she finally heard the front door click open, glancing around she saw him emerge from the wooden shelter. Masking her scent and concealing her heartbeat, she sneaked around the tree and leopard crawled through the tall grass, ambling to not make a sound and give her position away, she was already more visible in contrast to the snow._

 

* * *

 

“Hey Stevie, how-”  he had no chance to finish the sentence before he was taken down to the ground, the next thing he knew he had claws pierced into his neck, threatening his jugular and keeping him still, he tried opening his eyes but the pain that followed blinded him entirely. He wrapped his hand around a slim wrist, the claws of which were sunk into his chest, just below his heart.

 

When he finally opened his eyes, he looked up into wild brown ones, they seemed to be just as terrified as he was. A young woman, 30 maybe, dirty black hair and scarred olive skin… a wolf by the smell of it, but the scent was singular not the way a pack animal smells. Liam couldn’t speak and she took it as an invitation to drive the claws in deeper until a deafening roar stopped her. She jerked her head to the door where Theo stood wolfed out and panting through his fangs, “Let. Him. Go.”

 

Liam shivered at the tone of Theo's voice and so did the rogue on top of him, her heart beat wildly. “I can’t do that. I’ve come a long way for this.” She said driving her hand deeper into Liam, causing him to sputter and convulse under her. His other hand came up and wrapped around her throat, but he was weakened by the tips of the claws grazing his heart, and it had no effect.

 

“ _So have I_. Now let him go.” Theo growled, hands flicking out long claws of his own. She growled back at him, snapping her jaw in his direction when he stepped closer, seeing the black veins slither up her arm, his body ran cold and he remembered Deucalion’s words to him “ _Take their pain, Take their life. Take their power.” Oh god. This bitch is going to kill Liam for the alpha spark._

“If you kill him, you better make sure you kill me too because I will rip your fucking limbs off one by one and leave your corpse out for the vultures to feast on.” Theo gritted out, as he watched Liam gurgle for air, blood sputtering from the corners of his mouth. Theo realised that she will have Liam dead with only one more flip of her wrist before he could even reach her but if he didn't do something fast Liam would die anyway. He growled loud and frustrated his claws slicing into his own palms.

 

She hesitated when Theo flashed his blue eyes- her own were yellow. She had no doubt that he would do exactly what he said he would. She didn’t count on there being two of them, she didn’t think it through. Greed and haste and desperation drove her there. One thing was certain, there would be a dead body on that mountain today- her or the alpha or both.

 

The ground beneath them suddenly shook, but not all the land, only the cabin. It rattled, and the floorboards quaked enough for the woman to topple off Liam. Theo heard a sharp hissing sound over the commotion, almost insect-like before he was on her. He pinned her hands above her head with one of his and dug the claws of his other hand deep into her neck, anger spewing from him in waves. “Tell me why I shouldn’t rip your fucking throat out right now!!!” he screamed and shook her by the throat, blood spurting from her neck as he did so. “Tell me!!!”

 

Liam turned on his side to face them, watching the woman gasp and sputter for air, he clutched his chest and his voice was faint and hoarse when he spoke, “Because this is not who you are… even if that’s what your eyes say, it’s not who you are.”

 

The anger raged inside him, that need for murder drummed in his veins, it would have been so easy to slit her throat open, so satisfying to watch her bleed out. It was all he could feel, all he wanted until he heard Liam’s voice again, “Theo… Let her go.”

 

And he did. He stood up and pulled her with him, gripping his claws into her shoulders and looked her square in the eye, “Run.” Was all he said, she nodded and scampered off into the woods. Theo was next to Liam before he saw if she disappeared but he could hear her footsteps fade out as she ran away, hopefully never to return.

 

“Hey, hey are you okay.” Liam shook his head, screwing his eyes shut and Theo slipped his hand in under Liam’s shirt placing it over the claw marks on his pec. He drew the pain out, and it sleeked up his arms like black ink running on paper, he kept going until Liam’s breathing evened out and he felt the puncture marks knit together under his fingers.

 

Theo glanced up at the corner of the cabin, for what reason he didn’t know. Steve’s web vibrated, kind of like the cabin did just moments before…. He remembered the hiss that accompanied the quake. Could it have been Steve that caused it? No... no, that is just entirely insane, he thought narrowing his eyes at the spider. He dismissed the thought and helped Liam to his feet, back inside where they hobbled to the bedroom.

 

He helped Liam down onto the mattress and pulled the blanket over him, the alphas eyes closed and Theo got up to leave but Liam pulled him back. He patted the mattress beside him, holding the blanket up.

 

“Stay here. Sleep here.”

 

“Now?”

 

“Always.”

 

Theo exhaled shakily and swallowed hard, no one had ever offered him something like this. No one had ever asked him to stay with them, no one had ever _wanted_ him to stay. Half of him felt like running away, screaming, but the part of him that knew what caring and kindness and comfort was, that part of him climbed in next to Liam. He shuffled closer until their knees touched. Liam’s hand still trembled with shock, and Theo looked down, clasped it in his own and tucked it under his chin and then he closed his eyes.

 

Liam smiled and breathed out through his nose, eyes falling shut. But the last thing he saw was probably the most beautiful thing in the world. He’d dream about it that night, and every other night that followed. _Theo Raeken._

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Like every other time Theo woke up and before he even opened his eyes, he listened for the other heartbeat and like every other time it was right there, usually he heard it before he heard the birds chirping, before he saw the dawn break, but this was mid-afternoon and the mountain was lazy with its sounds. He blinked and his eyes rewarded him with visual confirmation. Liam was asleep beside him and despite the copper tang of blood still clinging to his t-shirt from the attack he seemed peaceful, their hands still tangled but laying loose between them.

 

Theo examined Liam’s face from every corner, something he didn’t have the courage to do when Liam was awake. He wanted to just look at Liam and take it in, to admit what he already knew in the stillness of his heart, the heart that beat for this boy next to him. His eyes roamed over the sleeping alpha, and he thought to himself that if this was the only life he got given, he would want to spend every day with Liam.

 

He loves him. Entirely. Without a doubt in his being. He loves Liam, and he has for a long time. It was overdue for him to admit it to himself, to place reason behind the madness in his heart, give it a name. What kind of fool searches for someone for two years like he did? Only one who loves another.

 

 _Tell him_ … Theo’s wolf nudged gently.— _When I’m ready_ , Theo replied.

 

Theo had never seen an angel, and he doubted that he ever would but he was pretty sure they looked exactly like this and that Liam was the most beautiful one. A warm and happy feeling settled in his bones and he smiled, trying to go back to sleep but something inside him was far too excited and wouldn’t let him close his eyes again-, so he stayed awake watching Liam. Soft giggles slipped from Theo’s lips each time the alpha's nose twitched or when he frowned and pouted in his sleep, fingers twitching unaware against Theo’s. He wondered what Liam dreamt about, whatever it was he hoped it was just as beautiful as the alpha himself.

 

Liam’s eyes opened slowly, and he snorted at the funny face Theo made next to him- eyes crossed and his lips squiggled and pouting, “I think you better go back to sleeping in the lounge…” Liam croaked, turning to stretch, “I thought I’d show you what I have to look at every day. It’s only fair.” Theo joked, his voice equally sleepy. Liam punched a loud _oomf_ out him, but left his hand to rest along Theo’s warm ribs, he could hear the wolf swallow hard at the touch.

 

“You drooled on our pillow Dunbar.” Theo poked Liam’s cheek where it was still wet, “Look at this.”

  

The alpha’s heart skipped at the word _‘our’_. Theo had referred to the two like that a lot more, Liam hoped it meant the same thing to Theo as it did to him, that he too, couldn’t see a world where they weren’t by each other’s sides- in whatever way. Liam stuck his tongue out chasing Theo’s finger away, "Its a territory mark, see." he said and drew a line down the middle of the pillow, cordoning his spit off on 'his side'.  Theo chuckled, pulling the blanket higher over his shoulders, hiding all but his green eyes, "I'ts gross, is what it is."

 

“You’re not a blanket hogger, I’m impressed.” Theo said, the words muffled under the blanket. Liam curled back into the warmth of the bed too, “Yeah well sharing is caring. I’m a carer.” Liam inched closer to the heat of his beta’s body. Truth was that Liam had woken up multiple times and made sure Theo was covered, and when he wasn’t Liam pulled the blanket back over him, tucking it into his sides, he might also have cuddled as close as he possibly could without waking Theo.

 

“ _Carer_ is not a word.”

 

“It is now.”

 

Their eyes were smiling even if their faces were hidden, their knees pressed close together and curled up to their bodies, hands bunching in the blanket but laying close together. Liam never wanted to move, he’s stay in that bed until he and Theo were old grandpa’s, he thought

 

“How are you feeling?” Theo asked his face now serious.

 

“Fine, it doesn’t hurt anymore.” He pushed the blanket down and lifted his shirt to reveal only a bloodstain on his pale skin. Theo quickly pulled the shirt back down, “That’s great.” He didn’t want to risk an uncomfortable situation by looking at Liam’s bare skin considering what it did to him the day before and how completely overcome with desire for Liam he was. It felt good to let it out but not right now.

 

“It healed fast, Scott had much more trouble healing after I…” Theo’s words veered off, he scrunched his eyes shut at the memory, that was definitely not the place he wanted this conversation to go for many reasons.

 

Liam quickly cut in, “It’s because his pack was split up. He healed when we were all together again.” He said and Theo opened his eyes again, looking at Liam. The alpha knew that if he had been alone when the woman attacked him, the chances of him seeing the next day would have been slim. Theo took his pain, and it allowed him to heal but it was more than that, it was the bond of pack, although small it was still Liam’s pack. Him and Theo.

 

“I think I healed because you’re here…”

 

Theo sat up, the blanket bunching around his middle, “Liam, you almost died yesterday, we got lucky with that earthquake, we need to be more careful. Just because you’re on a mountain doesn’t mean you’re not in danger. I found you and that woman found you… _someone else_ can certainly find you too.”

 

“Like Monroe?” Liam asks quietly, also sitting up.

 

“Like anyone. They know Scott McCall is dead, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where his power went.”

 

Liam dropped his eyes to his lap, he hated those words, he hated that Scott wasn’t around anymore. He missed him, every day, “I’ll kill her you know…” Liam looked back up at Theo’s green eyes, soft and empathetic as he stared back at Liam, “If I ever see her again, I think I’ll kill her. Rip her head clean off her body.”

 

Theo smiled, “No… you won’t.”

 

“How do you know that?” Because he was too scared? Because Scott would never have done that? Because she doesn’t deserve it?  But he’s _not_ Scott, and she _does_ deserve to die, gruesome and painful. He felt the rage simmer in his veins, quieted by a warm hand on his own.

 

“Because I won’t let you… And also, I’ll probably do it myself. Now come on Rambo, no one is killing anyone today, let’s get up, I have a plan.” He may have been joking but Theo knew he would do anything for Liam, because he loved him. He smiled at the thought, at how good it felt to allow himself to feel that, he wished he could just blurt it out to Liam like they did in the movies he used to watch. The movies made it seem so simple, they were always so sure that the other person would just love them back, unlike Theo. He was still the guy who tried to murder Scott, and even if Liam didn’t look at him in that way anymore, Theo had no guarantee that Liam would love him back, and he couldn’t think of anything worse than to have this sweet boy reject him. For now his love was safe in his own heart.

 

“A plan? For what? Wait, where… Theo! And why are you smiling, are you making evil plans in your head??”

 

“I’m smiling because you’re a dork!”

 

Liam scampered up and went to the kitchen with Theo where the wolf fixed them their usual cup of coffee, they shared it between the two of them like they always did and Theo told him a story of how real wolves in the wild go about warding off enemies and keep their packs safe. It left Liam confused, unsure of how Theo’s story would apply to them or help at all, but he agreed anyway. He handed the last sip in their cup back to Theo.

 

“I’m going to say hi to Steve, so don’t look at me.” It was about time that Theo accepted the spider as part of the Mountain Package, Liam thought. By now Theo knew he was a little crazy, he might as well let it all out.

 

“As long as he stays the hell away from me, you can marry him for all I care.”

 

Liam flipped him off and pushed the door open, frozen mountain air nipped at his skin through the thin long sleeved t-shirt. It was snowing again, all of everything covered in thick white ice. The sun barely poked through the trees and even the wildlife was quiet, tucked away warmly in whatever hideout they called home.

 

“Hey Stevie, how’s it going boy… are you even a boy? That’s rude of me.” Liam glared at Theo where he stood by the counter looking at Liam like he was nuts all over again but the smile he tried to hide said otherwise, that he rather adored it.

 

“That girl almost had me dead Steve, that was some mad shit…. God, Theo stop looking at me!! What is your problem??”  Liam’s head snapped to the inside of the cabin where Theo was still staring at Liam, his bottom lip clenched between his teeth to stop himself from laughing. Liam turned back to Steve and rolled his eyes, “He’s so lame, don’t mind him.”

 

Back inside the cabin Theo’s wolf would not leave him alone since he had admitted his feelings to himself, the animal had been pacing around restless since Liam opened his eyes and looked at him, Theo knew the wolf was searching for its mate, the one in Liam.  It wanted out, the wolf burned inside Theo and his bones ached to snap and allow the animal to take over….

 

“…. so maybe in summer, when it’s not so freez- Theo??? The fuck…”  Liam started shocked as Theo strutted passed him butt naked tossing the shirt he had on moments ago aside and skipping down the steps. Liam choked, eyes fixed on Theo’s bare body making his way into the open snow canvas in front of them. A sound similar to ice cracking in hot water split through the air as Theo disappeared behind a small hill. Liam walked closer to the edge of the porch to see a large black wolf emerge in the snow, shaking its fur out and sending hundreds of crystal flakes flying around him. The wolf ran a lap around the lake, stretching its limbs before turning back to the cabin.

 

“Oh… wow…” Liam breathed, mesmerized as the wolf walked silently back toward him, snow falling from his fur coat as it moved along his bones. He regarded Liam with a deep blue gaze, huffing once and leaning against his leg. Liam kneeled, carefully bringing his hands up to the wolfs neck and when it didn’t move away he caressed the fur, watching as his fingers got lost in the dark mass of hair before the brought his hand back up.

 

The wolf lowered his head, snout pressed to Liam’s chest as he purred softly to the touch and they stayed like that for a few moments, the rest of the mountain lost to them, until Theo jerked away abruptly and the gentle gaze in his eyes swapped for a playful glint, he ran into the snow again, his tail rising and wagging wildly from side to side.

 

The wolf let out a loud bark that echoed down the mountain and Liam chuckled, “What??” he yelled out with a smile to where Theo danced around in a circle, stopping to look at Liam and then hopping around again. _He wants you to go play too,_  Liam’s wolf answered and Liam froze. He knew what that meant- even if he allowed Theo to convince him, _help him_ , to embrace the shift over the last couple of weeks, this was still a big step. It meant fully accepting this wolf inside him, Scott’s wolf, as his own. It would mean finally letting go of what was left of Scott McCall in his mind, making peace with what happened. Acceptance. Forgiveness…

 

Theo’s wolf barked him from his thoughts again, still hopping around in the snow, playful and carefree and pretty… so inexplicably beautiful and pure that Liam couldn’t take his eyes off it. Theo shook himself out again, snow sputtering all over as he did, his tongue wagging from side to side as he moved his body.

 

Liam’s eyes narrowed with laughter and excitement bubbled in his chest. He watched the animal frolic around in the soft snow, clumsy but weightless. “You’re ridiculous!!!” Liam shouted….

 

“He’s beautiful Steve… look at him,” he said much softer, still not taking his eyes off the bouncing black fluff ball that ran up to him again.

 

Theo huffed and circled Liam, head pressing to the back of Liam’s thighs in a gesture Liam knew meant that he wanted the alpha to come with him, and Liam’s wolf growled, wanting in on the fun, the voice inside urging him to go, to shift fully into himself. He paused when he recognized the voice that spoke to him, _Scott…_

_‘Go Liam. Go play.’_

 

Liam stood and stripped off his clothes slowly, piece by piece, dropping it beside the black wolf still at his feet. The wolf bowed its head down in a reverence for the alpha, _his_ alpha, and pressed its cold wet nose against Liam’s ankle. Liam looked down, the tips of his fingers grazing the dark fur atop the wolfs back, and a little more courage seeped in through the contact. Liam was ready. He exhaled a large frozen breath into the wind and closed his eyes.

 

The shift started with a flash of light blue to crimson, then claws replaced fingernails- still carding through the wolf’s fur. With a roll of his neck fangs sprouted long and sharp, accompanied by a low growl. Another deep breath had the bones in his legs contort and bend and he sunk down to his knees as every other bone cracked into place. The last to appear was the white velvet fur, coating his skin inch by inch until no more pale flesh was visible. The red eyes were watery when he looked up, but he looked up into comforting crystal blue eyes when he lifted his head- eyes that told him it would all be okay, that he did good, that he was not alone and that he was no less of an alpha than the one that owned the wolf before.

 

Liam rose to stand fully in his wolf form, a couple of inches taller than Theo- different from their human selves. Liam’s wolf was white all over except for the bridge of its nose which had a dark brown splash on it, almost in the shape of a heart that trailed up its snout and circled its eyes. The insides of its ears and the tip of its downy white tail was dark too, a stark contrast to the pure black of Theo’s wolf.

 

The wolves maintained the eye contact, securing the bond in their animal form- fire and sky meeting - until the beta acknowledged rank and dropped its head to which the white wolf’s chest rumbled, pleased, and he pressed his snout into other one’s neck asking for his gaze once more. Theo complied but when he raised his head Liam was gone, sprinting off into the snow. He followed, and if animals could smile, that’s what Theo would have been doing.

 

Liam jumped around in the soft snow waiting for Theo to join, shoveling it with his nose and tossing it up into the air as the black wolf approached. Liam turned to run taking splashes of snow with him as Theo got near. The black wolf chased him, pouncing backward when Liam turned in his tracks. They stood meters from each other, the front of their bodies lowered to the ground while holding their rears in the air, tails wagging, daring. Theo darted out suddenly and Liam did nothing to move away, he only turned his side and let the black wolf crash into him.

 

They tumbled in the snow, black swirling with white, pulling each other over until they came to a stop where the dark wolf immediately submitted to the alpha above him, and although playful he was fierce, his fangs bared. Liam responded by licking a stripe up the side of Theo’s jaw and dropping down beside him in the snow, as a sign that they were equals, _pack_ , despite their status of beta and alpha.

 

The sun blitzed through the trees and thin yellow rays danced across the wolves’ bellies as they pawed at each other playfully while writhing their bodies and rubbing their backs in the snow, head to head. Tiny crystals still fell lightly from the heavens and covered their coasts and everything around them. Liam was the first to jolt up when a crackle resounded from the thick greenery nearing the woods. The black wolf was in front of him in a heartbeat as they sourced the noise, their ears twitching and snouts wiggling in the air. A small brown rabbit popped out from under the shrubs and sat up straight locking eyes with the wolves, a long pause followed in which both Liam and Theo lowered their bodies, snarling silently beside each other before the bunny bolted and both animals gave chase.

 

Theo circled wide around the front of the cabin and Liam toward the back, their fur blowing back in the wind. Liam barked out, flattening his ears as he sped up and upon hearing the call Theo turned direction and cornered the rabbit near the end of a small cliff. Liam stepped in front of it blocking the only other escape.

 

In a split moment between honing in on their prey and sharing a look, a small orange fox pounced from behind a snow heap and swept the rabbit up, vanishing in an instant before the so-called apex predators could register what had happened. They shared a wonderfully innocent look before huffing and racing off into the woods, emerging on the other side where the rays of the sun were uninterrupted by branches, where the mountain sloped down. The wolves came to a stop right at the edge, looking out over the massive landscape beneath them, their bodies pressed close together. The black wolf inhaled the crisp air and dipped his head low and when he looked up, it came with a long deep howl that shouted across the distance. He glanced at Liam and the alpha blinked his red eyes softly at his beta and joined in Theo’s song.

 

Together they howled into the stillness of the mountain, louder and louder until the wildlife responded to them and rustled around in the outdoors. Every howl stretched into the sky, both at varying tones, and then faded out against the icy ground only to be hauled up into the clouds again. The sounds could easily have been mistaken for that of a much larger pack than just the two, a warning to potential enemies that there was in fact a pack now, no longer just an omega with red eyes. Just like Theo’s story.

 

* * *

 

 

The two wolves ran off into the woods again, racing by trees and shrubs, chasing the wild things they saw until Theo came to an abrupt stop in an opening guarded from snowfall by the dense treetops in that area. The forest floor was covered in purple flowers, the smell of which was all too familiar- Wolfsbane. They grew with wild abandon, unhindered and untouched by the ice, magically almost. The feathery purple petals floated in the air around them, dancing in the sunlight that sneaked in between the trees, their roots tangled all over the ground, raking up the tree trunks and spiralling around everything it came into contact with.

 

Theo’s bones cracked as he shifted back to human. Liam followed shortly after with a bit more difficulty. It came easier for Theo since he had been doing it for longer but he felt the strength in the beta wolf’s bones that made the shift a lot harder than it was before, he imagined that for an alpha it would be even tougher.

 

Liam emerged in his human form too and the two stood completely bare in front of one another, their eyes taking in the sight, guiltily and curious, before looking away.

 

“It’s Wolfsbane.” Theo said gesturing into the field of purple, his eyes purposely cast away from Liam. “I see that.” Liam said clearing his throat but instead of keeping his gaze locked on the flowers his eyes had wandered back to Theo’s body. His glorious _naked_ body, there was nothing that could make Liam look away. His mind blurred as he stared, blood rushed to his ears and he felt his face flush.

 

“Liam?!” Okay maybe there was one thing that could make him look away, the fact that he had grown hard looking at Theo.

 

“Oh god!!” Liam cupped a hand over himself, spinning around, “Oh _goddddd_. I’m sorry!”

 

“We should go back, I don’t trust it here.” Theo said, turning his flushed smile in the other direction and walked off. Liam wondered then if Theo was even gay, did he get hard too, from looking at Liam? He suddenly felt really silly and even worse about the spontaneous erection, what if Theo wasn’t even into guys and Liam had been looking at him like _that_ all this time… hoping that… fuck?

 

Theo walked toward the end of the clearing where it led out into the snow again and stopped by a large tree trunk covered in the poisonous plant, he yanked a bunch off, making his way back to the cabin through the snow, the alpha on his heels. It took all of Liam’s strength not to look lower that Theo’s shoulders as he walked ahead.

 

“What are you doing with those?? That’s poison!”

 

“I’m not swallowing it, chill. We can use this.”

 

“For what, mass suicide? Theo put it down.”

 

“Liam calm yourself! We can make booze mix with this and get drunk.”

 

“Uhm, have you noticed that I don’t even have drinking water? Never mind _booze_.”

 

“That’s why we are going shopping tomorrow!” Theo said with a bright smile over his shoulder, winking at Liam as he entered the warm cabin and Liam collected his clothes from the porch.

 

* * *

 

Liam had gotten dressed and ignited another fire with the logs he had carried in the night before. Theo busied himself in the bathroom, Liam hoped it was to put clothes on because he never felt so close to a heart attack before.

 

Liam had been thinking about what happened in the field of Wolfsbane. He couldn't stop thinking about it in fact, he couldn't remember Theo ever having mentioned a boy or a girl he was interested in. They spoke about many things before Liam left but never about this. Liam knew Theo said he kissed Tracey once, but that it was just a diversion to take her power, he recalled the scent of guilt and shame that rolled off Theo when he told him. Liam never asked again, about anything related to his past, because the Theo that saved his life was not the same as the one they put in the ground all those years ago.

 

He didn’t want to pry but for some reason this question was driving him insane. He needed to know the answer more than he needed to breathe and when Theo came out of the bathroom, the words stumbled from his mouth without warning or exposition.

 

“Theo… are you gay?”

 

Theo halted next to Liam where he sat on the couch chair in front of the crackling fire, legs pulled up under him, “Uh, y-yeah, something like that I guess…” he nervously pulled the other chair up and sat down cross legged on it beside Liam.

 

“You’re bi?” Liam asked, eyes trained on the fire.

 

Theo sighed shoving his cold hands between his legs to get warm, “No, I am… I don’t…” he knew he sounded frustrated and it wasn’t that he meant to be, not with Liam, he’d just never figured it out himself- there was never enough time, but he knew one thing for sure.

 

“No. I’m-…”

 

“I’m sorry, you don’t have you say anything if you don’t want to, I just… I’m sorry, I was only curious.” Liam cut him short and his cheeks flushed, he pulled aimlessly at a piece of thread on the knee of his sweats.

 

Theo shook his head, “It’s fine, no need to be sorry. It’s a normal question, Liam.” He shuffled and cleared his throat, “I’m not like you or Mason if that's what you're asking, I'm not attracted to people I don’t know, or, uhm… someone that I haven’t formed a strong….” He paused, searching for the right word, “... emotional connection with.” He exhaled, as if a huge weight had been lifted, “Are you confused, you look confused?”

 

Liam’s mouth opened and closed again at the realization, “No, I get it.” Liam nodded. He never knew that about Theo, “You’re Demi.” Liam said softly and Theo smiled, his shoulders relaxing back into the chair, “Is that what it's called?” he teased and Liam looked at him, his blue eyes flicking across Theo’s face just like the shadows of the fire until the beta looked away.

 

Liam found himself wondering if Theo felt a connection with _him_ , now that it wasn’t as simple as just being attracted to someone physically, and Liam realized how beautiful it was, because you love someone for who they are first, you love who _you_ are when you’re with them, for what they mean in your life. Only then do you fall in love with the rest. It’s not how pretty they are, it’s not because you have amazing sex with them… or any other ridiculous reason people fall in love for. It is simply because you love who they _are_ , as a person, as a friend… as more than that, perhaps. Liam thought to himself that he would be lucky if Theo felt like that about him, he’d be so honoured. Anyone would be.

 

Theo wanted to know why Liam asked, he tried his hardest not to let his heart flip excitedly, because maybe, just maybe, Liam would say what he wanted to hear, maybe he loved him too. But he kept quiet and reached for the old book beside him instead and began reading to them out loud. He was halfway through the passage when Liam stopped him, “I’m sorry if I offended you earlier, when I… you know… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

 

“Liam, it’s fine. Dicks don’t offend me.”

 

The alpha nodded and looked away again, and Theo sighed before reading again, because all he really wanted to say was, _‘I got hard too.’_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nepenthe- (Ancient Greek) is a fictional medicine for sorrow, literally an anti-depressant – a "drug of forgetfulness"

*****

A rummage in the kitchen woke Liam up, the sound of water running and the smell of flames on the stove igniting, told him that Theo was making coffee. The still warm spot next to him meant Theo has just gotten up a few moments before Liam had opened his eyes. He rolled over onto the warm spot where the beta’s body had been, pulling the blanket over himself. He sighed, his body was loose and heavy from the much-needed exercise he had gotten the day before, his limbs relaxed and sleepy, except for one specific part of him. Liam shifted on his stomach, his erection pressing down into the mattress.

 

The alpha moaned and shifted again, the small movement quickly became a roll of his hips, grinding into the mattress. He was achingly hard, to the point of leaking, and Theo had just left which meant he had time… “ _Fuck_ ” he hissed on a forward thrust, his body moved before his mind had decided to. Pushing up on his elbows and hugging the pillow, he let his hips roll into the soft mattress, fast smooth motions that created an irresistible friction he wouldn’t be able to stop if he tried. Liam heard Theo shuffling around, tapping his fingers on the counter as he waited for the water to boil. Theo… _fuck, he’s gorgeous_.

 

Liam thought about Theo’s naked body, the way his muscles moved, his ass, the way he blushed when he caught Liam staring. He whined and bit down on his lip, a warm glow spreading all over as he slipped a hand into his sweats between his dick and the mattress, rubbing himself harder - everything in there already wet and slick.

 

Another moan rumbled from his chest and he grabbed the pillow, burying his face in it, biting it, to silence the sounds but it had Theo’s scent all over it and it was too much. Liam came unexpected and blinding, and his body twitched with pleasure as he emptied himself into his hand and sweats, muffled groans of pleasure spilling into the pillow, his vision whitening.

  *****

 

He stayed dead still on his stomach with himself growing limp in his palm, not daring to move even a finger over his sensitive skin. It had been a while since Liam got to do that, not since Theo arrived. To be honest, he didn’t know how he lasted this long and judging by the exceptional pool in his hand neither did his body. He heard Theo’s footsteps patter down the short hallway, walking carefully not to spill the coffee. Liam sprang up, righting himself, wiping his wet hand on his sweats just as Theo entered the room and if he noticed anything he made no notion. He knelt on the mattress and offered the cup to Liam, glancing out of the small window that served as a headrest.

 

“Thanks” Liam muttered quietly, his cheeks bright red, and he hoped Theo would think it’s from the cold. “The snow stopped, you wanna go to town, get some stuff?” he asked laying down, propped up on an elbow.

 

 "Yeah, sure."

 

“You know the shortest way that will get us killed the least?”

 

“Yep.” Liam replied clipped because the mess in his pants had grown cold and sticky and dripping into places it shouldn’t and he couldn’t focus on anything else. Theo must smell this surely? His cheeks reddened even deeper- the beta should be able to see that too, but Theo picked at his nail with his teeth and Liam’s mind was too frazzled to scent Theo, he wouldn’t even know where to start.

 

“You okay there?” Theo asked when Liam handed the cup back without having taken a sip.

 

“Yep.”

 

Theo dropped his eyes to Liam’s lap, “You wanna go get that cleaned up?”

 

“Yep!!”

 

Liam squawked and jumped up and to be honest he didn’t even remember making it to the bathroom or taking the offending clothing off. The next thing he remembered was the cold water spurting down his back, putting out the fire from before.

_Oh my god. Really Liam?? Are you fucking serious. Fuck is wrong with you??? While he is in the goddamn kitchen??? In the bed you share????_

 

He scrubbed hard at his skin, rushing to finish and get out of the freezing water. His body shivered but his cheeks remained flushed. Theo must think he’s such a pervert, getting hard in the middle of snowfall and then jerking off with him meters away. Liam ignored that he climaxed thinking about him and that it really didn’t take much to push him over that edge when Theo’s scent hit his nostrils. His wolf wouldn’t let him forget for much longer. It was already humming an impatient tune at the mere sight of Theo Raeken, like there was something Liam needed to do, something he needed to see or say or feel, and he couldn’t understand why the feeling was so urgent.

 

_Shit sakes, you made everything so awkward now Liam, he knows you came in your fucking pants, probably thinks you had a wet dream?! This is so embarrassing… what are you-…_

“Liam… Shut up.”

 

“What?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Liam guessed it was because his heart was rumbling like thunder through the little cabin, but Theo told him it’s okay, in his own mangled set of words, so that’s what it was. He wished then that he had scented Theo too, maybe he would have gotten the answers he so very much needed to questions he didn't understand.

 

“So, a trip to town yeah?” Theo asked from the bedroom, and by the strained sound of his voice, Liam knew he was laying sprawled out with his head dangling off the side, and even if he didn’t know what for, Liam really, really needed to see that. He stumbled out of the bathroom, soap still bubbling on his skin and leaving a path of wet behind him, and it looked exactly the way he thought it would.

 

He smiled while wrapping the towel around him, “Yeah, a trip to town. We gotta go do some laundry too, I think this is the last semi-clean outfit.” He glanced at the pile of dirty clothes shared between him and Theo, and his wolf snarled displeased at the thought of washing away that scent- the one that was now a heady mixture of Dunbar and Raeken, the one they both had grown used to as their own.

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Theo rolled over and took the last sip of coffee while Liam got dressed awkwardly jumping around to keep himself covered and pulling his jeans on, “So you said booze, huh? You know how to do that, I mean get drunk off wolfsbane?”

 

“I know how to make a mixture of Wolfsbane and alcohol that won’t kill you but will stop you from healing, yes.” Theo said getting up, “So yeah we can get drunk.”

 

“Have you ever been drunk?”

 

“Yeah, all the time, the Dread Doctors were real party animals. This one time on my 15th…-”

 

“Theo shut the fuck up.”

 

* * *

 

The last time Liam was in town he was by himself, avoiding everything and everyone, his gaze cast to the ground and he darted in and out of the grocery store, forgetting half of the things he needed. He remembered the overwhelming urge to growl and run back to his cabin upon seeing all the people, which he now realized could not have been that many. He remembered how his skin crawled and flushed, like everyone’s eyes were on him, like they all knew who he was, like they all knew how he let his alpha die and then ran away. But there was no way they could have known, Liam knew that, but when you’re broken, you’re broken. This time was different, with Theo just a few steps away- people were minding their own business and no one even seemed notice them.

 

The sounds were overwhelming almost, and the wolves took a few moments to adjust their ears to the buzzing of real life, the sound of other people when they had been so accustomed to only each other’s heartbeats and voices.

 

Liam glanced around the icy scene before him. It was refreshing to see after his eyes had been used to trees and mountains and nature for so long. The old buildings and swirly shop signs dangling in the wind, the tar road paved white with snow except for two black parallel trails where cars had driven and the huge mountains towering out above the small town, their tips hidden in thick mist. It was all set in the way Liam expected it to be, the buildings even cast the exact shadows as the picture in his mind, everything in place, except one little detail he had always imagined being there but wasn’t - a dark blue Toyota pickup that he pictured to be standing right at the foot of the mountain where the road ended…. But it wasn’t there, and that made Liam’s stomach turn.

 

“Hey? You okay?” Theo asked when Liam didn’t answer his question, in fact he hadn’t even heard him speak.  “Yeah… What did you say?” he asked while still puzzling concerning pieces together in his mind.

 

Theo narrowed his eyes, “I said… do you want to get proper breakfast first or get straight to the shopping?”

 

“Why don’t we go get the washing started and grab a muffin from _there_ on the way out?” Liam asked, his eyes pointing to the muffin cart on the side of the road. “Fuck I haven’t had one of those in ages… let’s go.” Theo dragged Liam behind him by the strap of his duffle bag, the alpha happily following.

 

The laundromat was quiet except for another couple, two older guys, sitting in the far corner. They seemed so tangled in one another that if their washing was done, they probably hadn’t noticed. The younger one sat turned into his partner, their smiles warm between kisses, hands entwined. Liam stared for a few moments too long because it looked wonderfully intimate.

 

“Can you stop staring??” Theo hissed with a sharp slap to Liam’s arm. Liam glared at him and his eyes fell down to the ugly oversized rain boots he had lent Theo, ones he dug out of the rusty shed, “I would not have an attitude wearing those boots Theodore, you look ridiculous. Like SpongeBob in that one episode...”

 

“I will shove you into this washing machine...”

 

“You’d try to but you won’t be able to catch me in those boots.” Liam shrugged and pulled out the dirty clothes but Theo swooped him up over his shoulder and marched over to one of the big machines, Liam yelped trying to throw himself off but Theo silenced him with a brutal slap to his ass and opened the door readying to shove Liam inside, “My boots are bigger than you, you little shit!” Theo laughed holding a hysterically giggling Liam up against the machine by his shoulders, “You’re a fucking animal!”

 

Suddenly Theo’s expression changed, still smiling but with something more than just happiness, something a little hungrier and it was clear in his tone of voice, “That I am…” and then his gaze settled on the alpha’s lips.

 

_Oh god._

Liam responded by driving his fingers deep into Theo’s ribs and tickling him before darting back to their laundry. He unpacked the items and tossed it haphazardly into the open mouth of the machine, pouring way too much washing powder in and shutting the lid with a hard smack, drumming his fingers on it, “Stop looking at me like that!”

 

“Looking at you like how?” _That smirk… that goddamn smirk._

“I don’t know, like you want to murder me but also laugh at me… like what are you supposed to be even… with that face?” he stuttered and squirmed fixed under Theo’s stare, his nerves getting the better of him. How _dare_ Theo bring himself so close that Liam could see the tiny scar just above his lip? And then Liam wondered why he even noticed that to begin with.

 

“I’m a killer Liam, maybe I do wanna murder you. Take your cabin and these nifty boots and your _cup_. You never know.” Theo said on his way out the door. The couple was staring now.

 

“Yeah okay. It’s _our_ cup, killer. So, you’d be playing yourself!”

 

“You suck at comebacks, _Lame_.”

 

“Lame… wow. So mature.”

 

“Still.”

 

* * *

 

They strolled down the packed shelves of the tiny mart each with their own basket, unnecessarily bumping into each other but with the dumbest smiles you’ve ever seen in your life and a huge cinnamon muffin each.

 

They stopped by the toiletry isle first and grabbed the usual - shampoo, soap and some cream. Regular stuff they will need but extra big bottles now that there were two of them. “Hey Lame… catch!!”

 

Liam turned only be hit in the chest with four white tubes he assumed to be toothpaste… It wasn’t. “Oh wow, Theo! Lube? Really?” he complained despite the blush on his face.

 

Theo laughed cheeks stuffed full of muffin, loud and beautiful, one of those that stretched all the way to his eyes as he tilted his head to the side. Liam wasn’t even mad. And if he left one tube in the basket, then so what?

 

“A mirror?”

 

“Yeah, a mirror. Wouldn’t you wanna look at this face all day too?”

 

“Easy killer.” Liam tossed a pack of toilet paper at him, obviously caught with ninja precision. This smiling carefree and light Theo that laughed at everything had grown on Liam, sleepy Theo was his favorite though, a close second was pensive Theo- when his eyes squinted and the lines on his forehead creased deep. Angry Theo was a sight to behold- whether his eyes were that pale green or frozen blue, his jaw always ticked in the same place. But the one that stood out above all, was the Theo that came back for him the night he fell apart, the one with the arms that held him like home. _The one who loves you?_

Liam cleared his throat loudly, hushing his wolf back to sleep. He ignored Theo’s raised brows and the flip his silly heart did at the thought.

 

Next was the canned isle where Liam dumped in a few cans of beans, corn and whatever Theo didn’t pull his nose up at, into the basket. The smell of freshly baked bread led them to the bakery counter at the back where they picked up French loafs, buns and cookies. Liam also learned that Theo had a weakness for chocolate in any way, shape or form and it was the best thing to watch live in action as he devoured an entire bag by himself.

 

Their last stop was the liquor isle where Theo loaded two bottles of vodka and a bottle of sweet looking creamy strawberry shots into his basket.

 

“Strawberry Lips?”

 

“Yeah, Wolfsbane tastes like shit, we’ll wash it down with this.”

 

Liam nodded, and they proceeded to checkout. Liam paid for their items with the cash he had taken from his father’s room the night he left, the memories of it leaving a sour taste in his mouth. The feeling didn’t last long when Liam turned to Theo and saw him tapping his foot and bopping his head to the distorted song crackling through the speakers.

 

_If you want to kiss the boy_

_Then you better kiss the boy right now_

_You ain't got to be afraid_

_Of the words you want to say right now_

_'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud_

_So if you wanna_

_Then you better kiss the boy_

_Oh, you better kiss the boy right now_

Was everything gay?? Was this entire town gay?? Trying to send Liam a message?? The couple in the laundromat, the lube, the song. And as if Theo just realized what the song said, his head jerked to the cashier and then to Liam, eyes wide, but the flustered look was soon replaced with _that_ smirk again, followed by a huge bite of his muffin as he strode out of the food store, bell dinging as he exited.

 

“Hey! Stop walking so fast and help me carry!!!” Liam yelled after Theo, “Please.” He added when he sounded a little too demanding for his own liking. Theo stopped, holding his hand out to Liam and for a moment the alpha considered taking it into his own if Theo was really offering, but he came to realize the boy meant _‘give me a packet’_ and not _‘hold my hand’_ Why would he mean that? Theo only held his hand the other time when he was injured… because he was shaking. He could hear the wolf’s eyes roll.

 

They made their way back to the laundromat each with a packet in hand, finding the couple gone and the rest of the place empty and quiet except for the swishing of their clothes in the machine. Placing the packets down on the chairs beside them, they took a seat.

 

Liam had just slumped down with a deep sigh watching the clothes tumbling around when a sharp sound echoed through the empty room. Both wolves covered their ears, searching for the source only to trace it down to a payphone in the back near all the detergents. It stopped ringing but the sound still screamed through Liam’s mind, and it sounded an awful lot like reality.

 

They held the silence for as long as they could before they spoke at the same time, words tumbling out fast and nervous, “Should we…” – “I think we should”

 

The only comfort in their joint agreement was the “ _we_ ”, already decided that there will be no doing what needed to be done, alone.

 

Theo’s expression softened, he slumped back too, hands clasped over his stomach, staring at the same spot on the ceiling as Liam, “We have to call home.”

 

“I know.”

 

“They need to know you’re alive. Mason needs to know, he deserves to -”

  

“I know! I know that.” Liam closed his eyes, willing his heart to be still.

 

Theo got up and Liam knew to follow immediately or he wouldn’t follow at all. Since he was the one with all the money, Liam collected the change from his pocket, his hand reaching for the receiver, shaking, until Theo picked it up instead, taking the coins from Liam’s hand and slotting them in. Liam knew he wouldn’t know Mason’s number, so he punched the digits in, surprised at how his brain remembered it.

  

Liam exhaled. It was what dying felt like, he was sure. He’d experience many emotions about his life in the last two years but nothing, _nothing_ , compared to this. A deep tremble vibrated through him as he heard the line connect-  Three times his heart failed him as the ringing sounded through the headpiece, and then Mason picked up… and Liam shattered.

 

_“Yo!”_

 

“Mason…”

 

_“Yeah, hi? Mason speaking…”_

 

“It’s Theo.”

 

Silence fell on both sides of the line. The alpha’s jaw quivered and his face contorted into a million emotions, unable to settle on just one, his eyes begging Theo for help before tears spilled down his face. Theo gripped his arm tight, tugging him closer.

 

When Mason didn’t speak, understandably from shock, Theo continued while slipping his palm into Liam’s and clasping tight.

 

“I found Liam. He’s okay.” Theo glanced at the alpha and knew that nothing was further from the truth than the words he just spoke. But Mason was no wolf, he would never hear the lie Theo’s heart told.

 

 _“I don’t even… how? It’s been years, Theo. Where are you? Where is he?”_ Theo could, however, hear the boy’s racing heart and the threat of tears in his voice.

 

“Colorado.”

 

_“Holy shit. I can’t… is he… can I talk to him??”_

Theo didn’t have to look at Liam to know he wasn’t able to form words in that moment, the jerks of his body as the sobs racked through him spoke for itself. “He can't right now, Mase,” he said as gently as he knew how, “but I promise we will call back again when he can.”

 

Mason sounded disappointed when he answered, but Theo knew his sweet soul would understand, _“Yeah, yes of course! Uhm… are you coming home? With him? I mean what do I tell the others?”_

 

There was no answer in Liam’s eyes when Theo looked at him only tears and quick gasps for air. Theo’s hand left Liam's and instead settled on his chest, over the hysterical heart beneath. His thumb stroked soothingly back and forth., “We will call you back okay? And you tell them that he’s alive…. He’s with me. He's safe.”

 

To Theo’s relief the line cut out shortly after that and he hooked the phone back. Liam swiped the tears away with the back of his hand, feeling kind of dumb that he was standing in laundromat crying in front of a boy whose hand happened to still be resting on his chest.

 

“Thank you.” Liam whispered looking down.

 

“No problem, little alpha.”

 

Liam’s cheeks flushed, “Not Lame?” he tried with a weak smile and a sob, Theo patted his cheek with the hand he lifted from Liam’s heart, “Nah, not this time.” He turned back to their seats, stopping when the alpha didn’t follow.

 

“There is one more.”

 

At first Theo didn’t understand who else Liam could have to phone…. “Jenna…”

 

“Yeah.” There went that trembling bottom lip again. Theo readied to take the receiver but Liam stopped him. “ _I_ need to do this.” Theo nodded but stood close by, never more than a few inches away, like the proximity would keep Liam’s heart from breaking. Little did he know it did exactly that.

 

The coins fell into the slots. Numbers punched, a soft click. The tone dialed, and it rang for what felt like an eternity and Liam almost gave up. He almost dropped the call…

 

“Jenna, hello?”

 

Liam cried again, he hadn’t truly stopped. He could tell she was in the kitchen- the corner T.V blared with reruns of Masterchef and he could almost smell the pies she was making. He knew she had the phone pinched between her chin and shoulder, he knew she was mixing batter in the big red bowl and he _knew_ she had flour on the tip of her nose.

 

“Mom…”

 

The big red bowl hit the floor with a loud clank and the woman on the other end sucked in a sharp breath.

 

“Liam???”

 

Her voice was borderline hysterical, but it gave him the same warm feeling it always had. She cried his name again, desperate for an answer he struggled to give. He sobbed, uncontrollably, “ _Mommy_ …”

 

“Jesus Liam… it’s you… You’re… Where are you baby? Are you okay???” Jenna wasn’t doing any better than Liam in controlling her emotions. Liam’s in fact, had taken over his body.

 

Theo slipped a hand behind Liam’s neck, pulling the alpha down to his chest, ear to heart, and wrapped his other arm around him too. If only those black veins would slither up his arm now. He wished nothing more than to take away Liam’s hurt in that moment, to seep away the regret and guilt that burst from his every pore.

 

“I’m… sorry… mom,” harsh sobs racked from the alpha’s chest and there was only so much Theo could do to stop himself from crying, “I’m so sorry.” Liam’s claws dug into Theo’s bicep, and even as the scent of copper hit the air Theo didn’t stop him from squeezing as hard as he needed to.

 

“Liam, baby, don’t cry please, talk to me.”

 

He inhaled, swallowing back what wanted to come out, “I’m okay mom, I’m okay. I’m with Theo.”

 

“Oh my… He found you??? Liam I’ve been worried to death over you boys!! I thought you were….” She broke again before her words were done and Liam’s body shook against Theo’s, “I miss you, mom.”

 

“Baby, I’ll come get you, just tell me where you are. I’ll be right there.”

 

“No.” He said it too fast and at the time he didn’t realize why but all of his mind screamed that he needed more time. If he only knew what for, “Not now. I’m not ready.” He said honestly having gained some control over his voice again, because the thought of facing this precious face that he knew he had hurt more than anything, was too painful to comprehend right then.

 

“Liam, please… you have no idea how I missed you, please come home.”

 

Other than the arms holding him he couldn’t think of a better place to be but still something in his soul held onto that mountain. Theo knew Liam didn’t have the strength to say no again, not to her, so he took the phone from Liam.

 

“Mrs. Geyer?”

 

“Theo?! Holy shit, I never thought I’d hear your voice again. How did you even find him sweety?? Are you okay??”

 

“I’m fine. Liam is fine too.” _Sort of_ , he wanted to add, but he needn’t worry Jenna, “Things are just slightly complicated, he needs more time.”

 

“Theo, it’s been two years, honey.” She sounded just like the mom he remembered from all the game nights and barbeques and pack meetings.

 

“Do you know how much a person can break in two years Mrs. Geyer?”

 

And essentially it was exactly that, Liam wasn’t broken because Scott died. He tore _himself_ open, with claws of guilt and shame and sorrow and blame, with no one to tell him different. For 730 days he ripped pieces of himself into shreds and there was no one to sew them back together. Until now.

 

“Oh, sweetheart. Just take care of him, _please_. And when he’s ready, bring him back to me. I need to kiss my baby, I need to hold him.”

 

“I promise.”  He handed the phone back to Liam to say goodbye.

 

“I love you.”

 

“And I love you. Come home soon, okay?”

 

“Bye mom.”

 

“Bye buddy.”

 

 

The trek back up to their cabin was cold and windy, beautiful nonetheless, the sun had begun to set behind the mountain but they would make it back before dark. They followed the hiking path that Liam wasn’t even aware existed, passing boulders, frozen rock pools and cliffs. His heart was raw and his eyes red and swollen despite his werewolf healing, guilt sitting disgustingly thick in his throat. But his mind was occupied with the hand clasped tightly in his own, guiding the way but not rushing- patient and kind with his slow steps.

 

* * *

 

Theo sat down next to Liam on the floor against the wall, handing him his own bottle of spiked vodka and placing the sweet pink liquor between them, “Cheers!” he said and took the first swig, the grimace on his face not doing much to convince Liam to do the same.

 

The alpha caved eventually, after Theo’s third sip, he immediately swallowed it down with the pink stuff. “Oh holy balls that’s bad. That’s so bad.”

 

Theo smiled, almost too bright at the first happy sounding words coming from Liam since they left the laundromat, “Yeah it’s pretty gross. You’ll get used to it.”

 

They shared a few more moments of silence before Liam took another sip of both and spoke, “My mom and David used to have fireplace evenings. Back home. I think they still do, probably.” Liam said looking down.

 

“Fireplace evenings? As in…”

 

"As in they would put me to bed and they’d make this picnic in the middle of the freaking lounge, you know, in front of the fire.” He smiled and took another sip, so did Theo, handing Liam the sweet bottle when he was done with it, “I would sneak down and watch them from the top of the stairs, and when they went to the kitchen, I’d run down and steal their snacks.

 

Theo giggled, “Of course you did Liam.” Another sip. Herbs then Strawberries, “So, I mean we have all the ingredients to have a fireplace evening. It's evening. And oh look, here’s a fire!” Theo said almost tossing his bottle into the flames and Liam snorted.

 

The Wolfsbane was doing its job if you had to judge by the redness of their cheeks and the random giggles after everything they said. Another sip- bitter then sweet. “They danced too.” _They didn’t._

 

“So, let’s dance little alpha!! I can dance!!” Theo almost yelled, pulling Liam to his feet with him. Theo just broke out into the silliest dance Liam had ever seen, “Come on, this was your idea!”

 

There was only a second of hesitation before Liam joined in, doing the same crazy dance as his beta, because why the hell not? He deserved to smile about something entirely nonsensical for once, didn’t he?? _Of course you do Liam._

They danced, or something to that effect, to a song that wasn’t playing—maybe only in their hearts, bottles in their hands until their breaths stung in their throats and their cheeks hurt. Sip after sip, sharp then soft.

 

Theo grabbed Liam’s arm and swung him around, vodka spilling, he quickly placed the bottles down and grabbed hold of the alpha again. He spun him around once more, Liam laughed and they danced like the folks did in the sixties, with a little less flair but equal parts passion.

 

“Woah Killer!! Where did you learn to dance like this!!!???” Liam screamed on another outward swing, confident that Theo would bring him back again.

 

“I told you those Dread Doctors were party animals, that one guy really had some moves!” Liam laughed from his belly, eyes practically closed, grin nearly reaching his ears. _Bright, like sunshine_ , Theo thought.

 

He spun Liam back in too hard and the alpha went stumbling into his body, his reflexes grabbed the back of Liam’s shirt to keep him from falling, fisting into the material. His eyes locked with Liam’s, flashing blue for all of a millisecond, a second that he took in Liam’s beautiful face like he had always wanted, like he did when the alpha was asleep, and then he spun him out again and let go. Before it wasn’t just looking anymore…. Before…

 

Liam lowered himself to the ground in a fit of giggles, sprawled out like a starfish, his mind spinning with thoughts of Theo laughing, smiling, touching him, and he was certain the dizziness was more from those thoughts than the alcohol. The way Theo looked at him, made him deliriously happy and his mind was slowly beginning to realize why.

 

“No no, see If you lie down then you’ll fall asleep.”

 

“I’m tired!!”

 

“You mean drunk but okay fine we slow dance then, get up.”

 

“To no music??”

 

“Come here, I have music.” Theo said holding out his hand to Liam. There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation like there had been the first time Theo asked him to dance. Liam took his hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. Both took a long swig of only the sweet drink this time and then Theo pulled him close, their hands entwining by their sides, their drunk hearts beating madly. Theo hummed a tune and their bodies moved, bare feet shuffling from side to side. Slow.

 

Liam couldn’t quite place the tune, he knew he had heard it before but he could come up with its name… until Theo began singing the words, voice low and raspy:

 

_Wise men say only fools rush in_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin?_

_If I can't help… falling in love with... You._

 

All he could smell was Theo, all he could think was Theo. Warm and safe. The arm around his waist, the cheek against his, slow moving bodies and fingers tangled so it seemed they’d never come apart. The words he sang seemed much more than just a song, and Liam realized then that he desperately wanted them to be more.

 

Liam turned his head an inch to the side, his lips against the beta’s cheek, fully intent on kissing him but lacking the courage to move the extra few inches. What if Theo didn’t want that? What if he punched him? What if he ran away… There were certain things Liam would never risk, not even to know what Theo’s lips would feel like on his own. Not even for that.

 

He instead placed the softest kiss to his cheek, wishing Theo would do what he didn’t have the guts for - but he didn’t, he only spun Liam out one last time to end the dance off, and bowed with a silly yet shy smile on his face.

 

“Thank you little alpha.”

 

“My pleasure killer.” Liam said as he grinned back and bowed too. Like total dorks. Living on a mountain and swimming in denial.

 

 

 

On their backs, eyes closed and listening to the mountain sounds was how they ended their ‘fireplace evening’. Liam's drunk mind plotted through thoughts, unable to make proper sense of everything that had happened that day and what he was now feeling inside. He almost kissed Theo, and he was about fifty percent sure Theo wanted to do the same, or perhaps he was just being playful and flirty? Theo said he needed to be connected to someone, could it even be possible that Theo felt something more for _him_ , for Liam Dunbar- the irresponsible Liam that let hunters kill his alpha, the angry Liam who loses himself to rage… _The Liam that is so deep in denial?_ The wolf offered, uncalled for, making Liam jump.  

 

“Shut up.” Liam shook his head.

 

“What??”

 

“Shhh not you. You sleep.”

 

“Steve?”

 

Liam's eyes shot open, and he smiled at Theo's closed ones, at the little smirk he tried to tame.

 

“Yeah... Steve.” he answered with a smile that hadn’t left his face all night and then he closed his eyes too.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one took a while.  
> We are nearing the end, so if there is anything you guys want to see, let me know!

Liam yawned, hands tucked under his arm as he sat up on the mattress. One eye cracked open to look for Theo but his side - yes, they had sides now - was empty and cold. Liam could hear him mumbling, having a conversation, and although he was trying to be quiet, the unmistakable rasp of his voice, cracking like it always did so early in the day, gave him away... he was smiling too. _What the hell could he be smile-_

 

“Oh…” Liam halted in the passage, jaw and hands dropping alike. He sucked in a deep breath, afraid he might disturb the scene if he moved even an inch. Theo leaned against the wooden frame of the cabin, half in half out, wearing the soft blue sweater, his hair an entire mess and his back partly turned, so Liam could see the side of his face.

 

 _“This is so stupid… But, kinda fun. I see why Liam does it.”_ Theo chuckled. _“You’re a bad ass Stevie. Don’t tell him I said so though.”_ He took a sip of his coffee, grinning, clouds of steam billowing into the frozen wind as he breathed. He glanced up at the corner, at the tiny spider, _“I’m glad you kept him company.”_ Another sip and a soft smile followed, gentle and more content than anything Liam had ever seen. He wanted it to stay right there, just like that, forever.

 

Liam bit down on his lip, aware of hot tears bubbling in the corners of his eyes. When did he become this guy who cried at the drop of a hat? _It’s what happens when you ignore your emotions for too long Liam, the more you don’t want to feel- the more you feel._

 

Standing there with the sun rising behind them, his killer -eyed beta talking to Steve, to the one thing Liam thought made him certifiably insane, just the way Theo interacted with the creature, the way he smiled after speaking to him- innocent and maybe a little guilty too… Nothing Liam had ever seen was as beautiful as that. And to add to it, the rays of the sharp morning sun blitzed off the side of Theo’s face, just enough to set his green eyes alight. They looked almost transparent like that, like something ethereal.

 

Liam's skin flushed out in a full body rash of goosebumps, and each time he looked at Theo, each time the beta smiled, Liam’s skin would prickle up again, from his wrists up to his neck.

 

It wasn’t just Theo talking to a spider. Steve was a very broken and isolated part of Liam. Steve was all the loneliness Liam had felt, all the darkness he kept inside, all the tears and the guilt and the anger. And Theo accepted that. He accepted that it all belonged to Liam, he never questioned it, he never called him crazy, and if he thought it, he never told him _not_ to be crazy, never told him to man up and go home. Theo wasn’t just talking to a spider in the corner of a cabin on a mountain, he was talking to _that_ part of Liam, the dark part, the one Liam hated.

 

 _I love him, don’t I?_ Liam shook his head, taking a deep breath, he wasn’t sure who he was asking or why he tried to deny it, but his wolf was on the defense before Liam finished the thought, it purred because it knew,

 

_You don’t love him?  But you look at him like **he** is the sunrise?_

 

Liam couldn’t argue because maybe Theo was exactly that. Theo was all the light in Liam’s life, one who saved him from himself. Liam realized then that since Theo arrived, he had chased bits of the darkness away each day he came out of that bedroom looking dopey with sleep but still grinning at Liam, or when he mocked him for only having one cup and no plates.

 

Liam realized that Theo was the reason he smiled again and why he was a little less broken. He had shifted, not because he had to but because he _wanted_ to… because of Theo. He had accepted Scott’s wolf and its power, and it didn’t hurt or tear him apart the way he thought it would. All because of this one boy. The one with the emerald eyes and a heartbeat like rain.

That was the moment it all changed for Liam, “I love him.” He whispered as quietly as he could, nose burning with held in tears. And god did he love him, he loved him _so_ completely, with all the torn shreds of himself, shreds that had somehow grown back together when that big black wolf fell in the door of his cabin.

 

He could never explain why or pin it down to any moment in particular. One morning it was just not that hard to open his eyes, he could _breathe_ and loneliness wasn’t something he wanted anymore. But, if anyone ever asked, he’d say it was the day he pulled Theo out of the ground, so lost and alone that all Liam wanted to do was protect him, hug him. He just didn’t know it at the time, and it became stronger each time Theo saved him.

 

Liam’s heart belonged to Theo, every broken beat, he realized that now, and he’d give him every single thing he could ever ask for. Always. The thought made him smile, body tingling with something warm. And just because this wasn't an easy, love-at-first-sight kind of love didn't mean it wouldn't be one of the greatest loves the world would ever see. Liam would make sure it was.

 

Liam also fell for the quiet way that Theo cared for him even if he never said it out loud. Why else would he have gone after him that night? Why else would he have stayed on this freezing mountain in this rusty cabin with no hot water and no lights and a flapping roof corner, with only one cup and one blanket… _And you._

 

_He stays for me… and I love him._

 

Liam smiled, drying his wet cheeks. “Morning killer.” he grinned, watching from the corner of his eye as Theo spun around, a quick waft of embarrassment rolling from him, “Hi! Uh… When did you wake up?”

 

“Just now” he lied, and he didn’t care if Theo heard. The ridiculous smile remained plastered on his face, growing wider and wider under Theo’s gaze.

 

“Liam?” Theo queried, coming closer the more Liam tried to hide his face away by turning to the counter, busying himself with finding cereal.

 

“Liam, what are you smiling about? Hmm?” Theo peeked over Liam's shoulder. The alpha snorted out loud, unattractively, “You little weirdo… what did you do!?” Arms wrapped around Liam’s shoulders from behind, turning his mind to a pulp with no effort at all. Another clear sign of just how gone Liam was.

 

 "Nothing!"

 

 _I realized I love your annoying ass._ Liam thought, the smile growing larger still, “Nothing!!” he managed again before breaking out in a fit of giggles, lacking all control. _Really? Giggling? Are you twelve now Liam?_

 

“Then why are you smiling little alpha? Tell me.” Theo asked, much softer, relaxing his grip around Liam but not letting go. When Liam didn’t pull away Theo propped his chin up on the alpha's shoulder… Liam looked so handsome when he smiled, he wanted to know more about the things that made Liam happy so he could do it all the time - that way he'd always be smiling like this.

 

“You were talking to Steve…” Liam tilted his head to the side, temple pressing to Theo’s.

 

“No, I wasn’t, I would _never_ talk to a spider Liam… I’m terrified of them.” An extra tick of his heart reflected the lie, cheeks heating up.

 

“He’s more scared of you than you are of him.”

 

“Oh really? Did he tell you that?” 

 

“Maybe he did. You don’t know.”

 

Liam remained frozen with Theo’s arms around him, scared to move, what if he moved and gave Theo the impression that he didn’t like  being held? Because holy shit he did, so much. Liam’s insides still burned with the desire to kiss Theo, hard and non stop and messy until he ran out of breath, but he lacked the bravery-educing alcohol from the night before. Booze for breakfast was a bad idea, right?

 

“Theo...”

 

“Liam?”

 

A useless pause.

 

“Steve…”

 

Theo snorted and let go, giving Liam a little shove as turned to the counter, “You want coffee, you dork?” Theo asked, rinsing the cup and taking out the cereal and milk they bought the day before, “Because I’m about to have Captain Crunch in your mug… because you don’t have bowls… because you live on a mountain.” he ripped open the box of cereal with his claws, mocking in that way Liam had grown so fond of.

 

“Nah... I’m gonna have a shower, I smell like wolfsbane.”

 

“Cool.” Theo poured the cereal into the mug followed by the milk, arching a brow when Liam didn’t move.

 

“Thank you for yesterday.” Liam said, turning to look at the beta. 

 

“For getting you drunk?”

 

“For holding my hand.” _For holding my everything when I fell apart._

 

And he answered like he knew, "No problem little alpha. Anytime.”

 

Liam smiled and walked away, peeling his sweater off. And for some on purpose reason he dropped his pants too before he was out of sight. He blushed, _who does that_?? Yeah sure, he loves him, he knows that now, but was it entirely necessary to expose himself to the poor guy?? The unmissable burn of electric blue eyes were on him as he slipped into the bathroom, making his skin flare up with a blush. _You’re an idiot Liam Dunbar! An idiot!!_

 

Liam sighed, dreading the cold he was about to endure as he stuck his toes in first, then his leg, and then yelping and hissing as the water hit the rest of his body. He wasn’t opposed to anything on that damn mountain, not now that Theo was there, but if he could change just one thing it would be the water. The horrid freezing mountain water. As grounding as the cold was when he felt too overwhelmed, it was ridiculous and freezing and inhuman. He wished Theo never had to go through it, he deserved hot showers and delicious food and warm blankets and nice things. _One day, I’ll give him all the nice things, I’ll make him happy and I’ll take him on dates and cook him dinner._ Liam grinned, cursing through the cold water, washing quickly and erratically just to get done.

 

The commotion caught Theo’s attention, and he found himself with the cup of cereal and a spoon in hand, standing in the door of the bathroom. Green eyes fixed on the sputtering alpha, amusement dancing on his face as he took a bite. He didn’t say anything. He just watched the boy, the one he loves, not just because he was naked and beautiful but because he was silly with a childlike wonder Theo had never known but it made him happy all the same. And strangely enough happiness didn’t seem like such a foreign concept to Theo where Liam was involved. It was easy to feel happy, easy to forget the bad things. 

 

“Theo! Why are you… _oh god it's cold_ … why are you watching me!!!??”

 

“Because it’s hilarious. You should see yourself!.” He wouldn’t admit that he got a bit caught up and forgot he has no business staring at all.

 

“What goes around co- _ah fuck!!_... what goes around comes around T-theo!!” he wormed around growling at the spray of water that hit his back and Theo laughed, turning to walk away when Liam suddenly gasped, crackling and loud.

 

“Oh fuck! Theo!!!”

 

“What??!!” Theo yelled, startled, skidding back to the bathroom, grabbing onto the doorframe just before he slipped.

 

“There is fucking hot water Theo!!!!! Get in here!!!… Come on get in!! We don’t know how long it's gonna last!” Liam screeched excitedly and splashed as much of the warm water on himself as he could. The very definition of heaven. 

 

Theo rocked back and forth, wanting to move but also not. Why was pack infiltration and murder an easier thing to do than get in a shower with the guy you like? What the hell was he even waiting for? 

 

“Come on Theo! Ah, shit it’s amazing!”

 

“Fine!!” He shouted back over the excited thumps of Liam’s heart. He placed the cup of cereal on the ground, slipping his top off and pushing the pants down. Liam glanced at him over his shoulder, clouds of steam now wafting from the bathroom and he blushed bright red under Liam’s gaze. He hated the way his body reacted, he couldn’t recall ever blushing this way. It was definitely a Liam thing.

 

“Shift up.” He mumbled, moving to stand next to Liam. The alpha threw his head back, letting the water spill over his neck before stepping to the side and giving Theo space.

 

Theo got himself wet and even with his eyes closed he knew Liam was looking at him, but the incredible feeling of the warm water on his skin side tracked his thoughts. He couldn’t remember the last time something felt this lovely. He knew he must have been looking rather ridiculous - his mouth parted with a smile and his hair plastered to his forehead but he couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment.

 

Liam whispered his name and then cautious fingers swept the wet strands from his eyes. He couldn’t help it,  couldn't stop himself, not with Liam so close. He leaned into the touch and Liam’s palm opened for him, pressing hard to his cheek, allowing the touch.

 

Liam pushed his hand further back, taking more strands with it. He spun around and grabbed the shampoo, squirting the liquid out into his palm. _That_ instinct had taken over again, the one that needed to take care of his beta, the one that burned in him like wildfire. He smeared the shampoo into Theo’s scalp with both hands, massaging it into his temples, smoothing it back and down his neck, over and over, watching Theo's beautiful face relax.

 

Theo opened his eyes, hoping his ragged breathing wasn’t as obvious as it felt. He hoped Liam was too distracted with washing his hair to feel his body tremble. Swallowing hard, he dropped his eyes to Liam's face and had to fight with everything in him not to look down any further.

 

“Turn around.” Liam whispered. He placed a hand on Theo’s forehead and titled his head back, guiding the water through his hair, fingers working circles into his scalp, then sweeping the white foam down to the middle of his back where he let the water wash it away. God, it felt amazing to touch him even if it wasn't much at all. It didn’t matter that they were naked, it didn’t matter that their hearts were racing idiotically in their chests again. They were just close- their wolves appeased and calm.

 

Liam dragged his hand from Theo’s soft hair, the strands slipping from his fingers and he almost growled at the loss of contact. He stayed dead still behind Theo, watching the muscles move under his skin, flooded with the need to kiss it, just there on the small dimple. _Do it_ , his wolf dared, although he wondered if it wasn’t more him than it was the wolf. Maybe both. He leaned forward, placing a kiss so gentle he could hardly consider it as such, to Theo’s right shoulder blade, “Done” he said stepping back.

 

Theo turned around, ignoring the blazing skin on his back. Who knew what would happen if he acknowledged it. Surely everything would implode and he wasn't ready for that. “Your turn.” He took the bottle and eyed the dark tresses, and before Liam could protest like Theo knew he would Theo’s hands were in his hair, lathering the shampoo in, his fingers raking long streaks back and forth.

 

Theo bit back whatever sound tried to escape when Liam moaned, swaying closer. His hands kept working but his attention fixed on the alpha’s face, so perfect from every angle. It didn’t matter which way you looked at him, he was beautiful, even the set frown lines between his eyes.

 

Another low grunt rolled from Liam as Theo’s fingers pressed and dragged over his scalp and Theo’s eyes dropped to his lips where the sound came from, so close that he counted every drop of water that tumbled down them. Forcing himself to look away, he turned Liam around and pulled his hair back, maybe too rough, and he leaned into the stream of water with Liam. Theo's forehead pressed to the back of Liam’s head, hands in his neck and bodies trembling despite the hot water, “Done.” he whispered, hoarse, as he leaned down returning Liam’s kiss to the top of his shoulder.

 

Who knows what would have happened if the hot water hadn’t suddenly vanished and left them in a scramble of freezing limbs and curses as they pushed one another away to escape the freeze first. Liam damned every god of every universe. What kind of joke was this?? He just wanted to kiss the boy already, he wanted to tell him the things he felt in his heart, Theo needed to know it. But… it’s not something you blurt out into the open…. Or maybe it was, maybe that’s exactly what needed to happen…

 

Liam pulled sweats on watching Theo do the same, he even looked beautiful doing that. _Yup, you are in love._ He slipped his sweater on, folding his arms across his chest, courage dangling, “Theo.” He swallowed so hard and dry when Theo turned to him, it hurt, “I need to…”

 

Their heads jerked suddenly, attention drawn to a loud clang in the front of the cabin. The door flew open as a strong gust of a wind swept over the mountain, tugging at the loose roof corner with one hell of a racket. Theo ran, shutting the door before he picked up a few things the wind had strewn that across the floor.

 

"Sorry. What were you gonna say?”

 

Liam was probably a fool for thinking Theo sounded hopeful in that moment, regardless, his courage left with the wind and he found himself back where he started. The words nothing but maddening thoughts once again. 

  


“Eh, nothing. I forgot.”

 

 _Fuck the universe_ , Liam thought. _Fuck it._

* * *

 

Theo skipped rocks on the lake, his back to Liam who watched from the porch while finishing Theo’s cup of cereal. Maybe the universe had a point, maybe he wasn’t meant to say it out loud. Not yet anyway, there was probably a reason he’d been interrupted, his mom always said: _‘Listen to the signs. Be aware of what happens around you.’_ What would Jenna tell him? He smiled. She’d tell him to do what his heart wants to do but to consult with his head first. _The one upstairs Liam._ He imagined his mom's voice and snorted too loud, hoping only Steve heard.

 

 _How would you say it, anyway?_ He thought to himself. It’s only three words, but it’s a big fucking deal. Make or break. He tried to drown out the slight panic that beat in his ears at the thought.

 

 _I love you dude_. He scratched the idea at the same time his wolf growled. _Yeah not like that._

_We need to talk_. Oh god, that one made him want to run away from himself. Find another mountain. 

 

_You give me warm fluffy feelings and I like your face and maybe I kinda wanna kiss you and shower with you always. Also, your hair is really soft and your body is amazing and you are always so patient with me, and soft and kind, and_ _I think you smell better than heaven._

 

“Uuuuug!” Liam shook himself out, why was this so damn hard, why was it even an issue?? He told Hayden that didn’t he? _How? When?_ Who cares. He’s going to fuck this up, he will mumble and blurt out garbage and Theo will nope out of The Mountain Package so fast… Oh god, what if he says it and Theo responds with “Thanks” What if he makes a face and says “Ew.” Or asks _why_ or says that he loves him but add 'buddy' at the end??? Death. Complete and utter death.

Liam’s cheeks puffed out, hand clenched around the spoon which he was sure must be bent by now. His body suddenly screamed at him to release the air he had bundled up in his throat. _I can’t. Oh god I can’t. But I can’t ignore it either, the fuck am I supposed to do???_ Panic, panic, stress and death.

_Over exaggeration?_

 

... He still hated the wolf sometimes.

 

“Hey! You good??” Theo yelled from the lake, looking like a god in ugly rain boots again.

 

 _No I'm not okay_. “Yeah, I'm good!” He lifted the cup in an awkward cheers. _See! You're so weird Liam. Never say it. Just don't._

 

* * *

 

_“Theo…” the warped voice echoed through the hallways, cold and lifeless and dark. Just like the night she drowned. Hollow steel encapsulated him._

_Theo twisted to turn on his side, fear rising in his throat, “No… no!” scrambling fast, unsuccessfully, to get out of the narrow drawer. He banged on the door a few times but it wouldn’t budge, it wouldn’t open like it always did._

_He cried, silent pleas, when he felt the cold hands around his ankles pulling him back down. He didn’t fight, what was the point? She always won. “Theo” It’s all she ever said when she found him… it was the last word she spoke before she died too._

_He sniffed back his tears, taking a deep breath as she climbed up his body, blood dripping from her chest and smearing a long red stripe up his t-shirt. He knew he had to open his eyes, she always demanded his gaze so effortlessly. Without a word._

_His breath quivered from his lips and he opened his eyes, face contorting in a silent cry as he braced himself, “It’s okay…”_

_This time her mouth tugged in the corner and “I won’t.” followed before he could tell her she didn’t have to stop._

_It felt like relief of sorts when she plunged her hand into his chest. It was done, this round was done. But she didn’t rip his heart out, instead her hand remained tangled in his ribs. He opened his eyes again to find her looking to the side, he frowned, following her gaze._

_“No….” He writhed wildly under her desperately trying to stop her as her hand lifted, “No!”_

_“TARA NO!!!!” His claws sliced into her arms as he watched her plunge her other hand into a sleeping Liam’s chest, but he couldn’t do a thing to stop it, he could only scream and scream and cry._

_She yanked Liam’s heart out with such force his body jolted against the cold metal slab before falling back to a still and lifeless state, bleeding beside Theo… and then she twisted her wrist and pulled Theo’s heart out too, completing her task._

 

_“Theo?”_

 

What did she want, why was she still calling him? Hands gripped into his shoulders, shaking him, _“Theo!”_

 

Theo _screamed_ , his throat burned but he couldn’t stop. _“Theo!!”_ Heart pounding against his insides, heavy and harder than it should, his body squirming and twisting to get out of her deadly hold.

 

_“Theo!! Please!!!! Wake up!!!”_

 

His eyes shot open and he flew up, crashing in into the wall where he sunk down to the floor. Wild glowing red eyes stared back at him where he sat panting, body shaking with sobs against the cold wall. Liam crawled closer.

 

“No!!” Theo screamed with the last of his voice but Liam reached for him and he roared, loud and threatening, “Don’t touch me!!! Don’t _fucking_ touch me!!” The hands retracted quickly and Theo grabbed his heart, stumbling out of the room.

 

Liam stared at the spot where Theo had been sitting, in absolute terror, his heart shattered for so many reasons as a grim realization dawned on him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Redamancy- The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

Liam had never felt guilt as clear and concise as in that moment. Theo suffered from nightmares, nightmares induced by his time spent in hell. Tara was his sister, Liam realised- the one they saw dragging him under, and whatever happened down there was much more than just rotting like he had so harshly guessed years ago.

 

He'd stood by and watched his pack put a teenager in the ground, he watched a dead girl drag Theo into god knows where and did nothing to stop it, because at that point he thought it was the best thing to do, it's what Scott allowed.  And in that moment Liam realised that he was nothing like the late alpha and had _he_ been the one making decisions, things may have gone a little differently that day. But, what was done, was done, and he had caused irreparable damage to the man he loves, nothing could take that back.

 

“Fuck.” the curse fell silent into the night. His stomach turned, and sank to a low and miserable place, his chest tight. How could Theo love him? How could he possibly expect this boy to love him the way he wanted him to when _he_ was the reason for the nightmares and the pungent smell of terror that still hung thick in the room? God, his face… his beautiful, beautiful face- so contorted with fear, his green eyes so dark and flooded…. “What have I done?”

* * *

 

Outside the cabin, back against the wall, Theo's skin crawled where she touched him - where Liam tried to touch him. Physically he knew it was Liam that reached for him but all his nightmare addled mind saw was her, he couldn't make that differentiation, not when he was like this. He just saw those cold pale hands coming for his heart again.

 

With shaking hands, he wiped his eyes, repeating apologies in his mind over and over until he couldn't feel her anymore and her presence faded and it left him with only the stinging cold on his skin.

 

Shivers racked his insides to the point where he found it hard to inhale, fear stealing his breath away. But this time Liam was close, this time he had his alpha’s heartbeat to pull him back and separate the dream and reality, so he focused on the desperate banging of Liam's heart until he could speak. His breathing slowed with each thump and as his heart rate decelerated so did Liam's. Connected, always.

 

“Liam…”

 

“Theo?”

 

“I'm sorry,” salt flooding his mouth as he spoke, “I was…”

 

“Are you okay??” is all the alpha wanted to know, voice bothered with concern.

 

“I just need a minute Li… I…”

 

“I'm here.”

 

Tears rolled down Theo’s face, and he wondered what the hell he ever did to deserve Liam's compassion? His kindness, his smile. There must have been some divine intervention or a major slip in the order of things. Whatever it was, Theo intended to take thorough advantage.

 

His legs still trembeled as he got up, shuffling his way back to the bedroom and there he found Liam waiting on the edge of the mattress for him, he hadn’t moved and when he looked up, there were no questions no ‘what the fucks’ - he only extended his arms and Theo melted right into them, like Liam's arms were made for that.

 

He snuggled up close and buried his face in Liam's neck, and along with his own tears, he smelled Liam’s too...  and guilt, Liam's breathing quivering just like his hands.

 

“Theo… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.” Liam whispered as if he wanted no one else to hear his shame about the wholly inadequate apology. His arms wrapped tightly around Theo, hoping it would say what his words failed to.

 

Theo stilled, surprised and confused, but not moving from Liam's embrace. He pulled Liam closer, and despite his shaky breath said, “You didn't do anything.”

 

“Theo… I sent you to hell…. these nightmares? I never realized…”

 

“No. No, you didn’t… you saved me, you brought me back.”  There’s a beat of silence after Theo spoke, as if Liam never even considered that perspective. When Liam still didn’t speak Theo continued, “She was busy ripping it out…”

 

“Ripping… rip what out?” Liam’s body tensed. _Please don’t say..._

“My heart.” It’s shakier, heavier, than before when he spoke again. He swallowed hard, “I took hers, she takes it back.”

 

“Jesus… Theo,”

 

“She was getting ready to yank it out again…” his voice broke, body jerking with a sob, “and then you took me out before she could. Saved me.”

 

_Is that why he's always saving me?_

 

Liam wrapped around him, arms locking in place, his legs maybe too. He wasn’t sure there was anything he could say to make it better, so he just held him. Theo cried into his neck, and he let him. God, he deserved to cry and _feel._ Theo deserved to know that Liam was right there to catch the pieces that broke off, that Liam would keep them safe and put them back where they belonged.

 

Their bodies warmed up where they held onto each other, curled into safety. Liam pulled the blanket over them. He could see Theo in the pale moonlight, just staring ahead, eyes void and fingers tangled into Liam’s sweater. He looked so tired, so wrecked. He didn't even smell like anything, just blank. Empty.

 

“Sleep. I’ll fight them off.” Liam whispered, and Theo didn’t have to ask who. He knew Liam meant his demons and his bad dreams, the one who haunted even his brightest days. Even if Liam didn’t know her name and had never seen her - he didn’t need to - he’d fight anything for Theo. And Theo knew that as certain as the moon above them.

 

“I wish she knew how sorry I am… I wish I could tell her… but she never listens.” The beta breathed raggedly.

 

“ _I_ know how sorry you are.”

 

The grip in Liam’s sweater tightened and the smell of tears filled the cool night air again. Liam ran his hand up and down Theo’s back as Theo’s body heaved silently against his, quiet gasps for air against his neck. He kept repeating shushing sounds until Theo’s heart gave up its raging pace for one much calmer and he drifted off to sleep, taking Liam with him.

 

* * *

 

“Hey... Psst… Liam.... Hey Liam. Wake up.” Liam opened one eye and found Theo's goofy smile next to him. He rubbed sleepily at his face, stretching out. “There we go... wakey wakey, hands off snakey!”

 

Liam snorted, his hands nowhere near his… _snakey_ as Theo put it. “What do you want?” he tried fighting the smile but what was the point, really? It had become a permanent fixture on his face, he couldn't tell exactly since when, and he had no intentions of changing that, not when Theo’s eyes lit up the way they did when he looked at Liam smiling or laughing. Liam came to realize that the beta liked it when he was happy, he sought it out and watched intently, stopping what he had been busy with.

 

Liam leaned back to get a better view of Theo, sleepy Theo, on his stomach, chin resting on his hands. So innocent, his face clear of the troubles from the night before. He looked back expectantly, his eyes green again -not dark and dilated to the max.

 

“I’m hungry.” Theo blinked, plastering on a smirk.

 

“So? I’m not a chef. This is not a hotel.”

 

“It's kinda a hotel and I am your guest. And I’ll leave if you don’t feed me. I’ll run away.”

 

Liam snuggled deep into the blanket, “Just leave this blanket, k?.” _Because it smells so incredibly like you_. Theo chuckled and shoved him until he rolled over, “Come on, let’s make food. Proper food. Pasta and sauce.”

 

Liam peeked out from behind the blanket cocoon, “You want pasta and sauce? Hm. I can totally make pasta and sauce for you.”

 

Fuck, the way Theo’s face brightened when he said that… “That one of your favourites?” Liam asked, lowering the blanket and Theo nodded, giving Liam that small smile he couldn’t help but return.

 

“Then let’s go killer.”

* * *

 

The sun had just moved over the cabin and it seemed near midday - the wildlife awake and buzzing outside. The whipping winds had seized for now, apparently, and the sky held a pink-peach hue that illuminated the thin layer of mist gathering in the treetops. They’d decided on lunch and agreed they should probably pick up a watch or clock with their next trip to town so they wouldn’t have to guess the time of day by the position of the sun like cavemen, even if techniacally that's what they were.

 

Liam unpacked the things they needed, stoking up the fire big enough to keep them warm and to get the pot of water to a boil. Theo proved to be terrible at anything kitchen related, he'd swing around waving the carving knife carelessly, Liam had to take cover a few times- had him wondering how this guy, this total dork that inhaled chocolate and had secret conversations with a pet spider - how did this guy claw his way through a pack?

 

“No, okay I’m not… don’t… just... put the knife down Theo!!” Liam grabbed the knife, ignoring the offended slack-jaw stare Theo shot him, “Wow, you really suck at this huh?” Liam eyed the butchered tomatoes and the large gash in Theo's finger, thankful for it closing up before he passed out face down in the spaghetti.

 

“I spent my days in the sewers, no real time for cooking,” Theo shrugged like it was nothing and it drove Liam insane as much as it made him want to laugh. But he got it in a way- maybe joking about it was a way for Theo to cope with his tainted past.

 

“So, uh…” Liam chopped up the rest of the tomatoes, aiming (but failing) to look as casual as he could, not wanting to dampen the light mood they had woken up to, “you okay? I mean after the nightmare?” 

 

Theo stiffened momentarily. He never spoke about it after it happened, there wasn’t anyone to speak to and no one ever asked if he was okay much less held him until he felt better, “Yeah… I'm fine. I’m okay.” It wasn’t a lie, with Liam near him he’d always be fine, and he said it with enough conviction that Liam didn’t have to question it again, “Thanks.”

 

“Okay. Good.” The alpha smiled, taking over the onion chopping duties too. Theo cried enough tears.

 

“Why? Getting sick of cuddling me to sleep?”

 

“What? No? Why would-”

 

Theo smirked, popping a piece of tomato into his mouth, and holy shit he looked so hot like this, his hip leaning against the counter, arms folded making his muscles pop. Liam found it hard to look away, in fact looking at anything else with Theo in the near vicinity had become impossible. He wondered if it was even legal for anyone to look this good… for eyes to be so pretty, and a mouth to curve up so invitingly.

 

And then Theo winked, “You like what you see little alpha?” and Liam melted inside. 

 

Both hearts skipped at that, Theo’s from stupid bravery and Liam's because he realised he had his lip bit down between his teeth and his eyes skimming Theo's body without a hint of shame.

 

“I, uh… I… maybe I do. Yeah, actually. I do.” _Oh. My. God._ On the outside he looked collected, cocky even, but inside he was spazzing at his own words.

 

Theo cleared his throat, blushing at the unexpected answer, mind racing, because Liam basically just admitted to finding him attractive… Liam stuttered and blushed – probably redder than Theo – but he said it. And it was insane, really, at the rate they flushed at one another’s words, they could keep the cabin warm without the fire.

 

“Can I help with something else? Since you won’t let me do the fun things.”

Theo whined, nodding to the knife.

 

“Can you pass me the pasta, you murderous little shit? It’s the long yellow sticks that go soft in hot water...” Liam licked his fingers clean, ignoring Theo’s glare. Liam wasn't surprised to get flipped off, “I know what pasta is Liam. Just not how to cook it.” Theo mumbled the last part almost inaudibly.

 

Theo tugged the spaghetti from the shopping bag, “You know, hauling this shit up the mountain would have been way easier if I had my truck. Although I don’t know, think maybe this mountain is too steep for…” He turned to throw the pack to Liam but the alpha stood frozen on the spot, a blank expression replacing the playful one of earlier.

 

“Liam??”

 

Guilt washed over Liam, so familiar and nauseating. He’d been pushing it out of his mind, deciding on varying scenarios about why Theo’s car wasn’t at the bottom of that mountain the day they went to town. He took the pasta from Theo, absentmindedly, chopping the edge of the packet off.

 

He stilled, turning to his beta, “Theo, when we went to town the other day… I don’t know, I just kinda thought I’d see your car down there…”

 

“Why would my car be….” He paused, then blinked, “Oh...”

 

Liam didn’t know, it dawned on Theo – he never told him how he got here, how he ran after his scent. When the subject came up the first time he was still borderline pissed at Liam for leaving and his answer was vague at best.

 

“Theo, how did you find me?” Liam asked, decidedly ready for an honest answer.

 

Theo’s lips parted beautifully in the way Liam loved, and a pause followed, one that seemed all too long for any amount of sanity to remain in place. He turned to meet the blue eyes filled with questions and pleads and worry. _If not now, when Theo?_ His wolf begged like it had been for days. Theo finally agreed.

 

He let out a deep sigh, “With this…” tapping a hand over his heart to the rhythm it beat only for Liam. Liam frowned. “And your scent, I chased it, followed it here…” He gave a small shrug, and softly added, “apparently for two years.”

 

“Theo…” Liam whispered as Theo took a step closer, breath leaving his body, “ _Why?_ ”

 

“Because of you…”

 

Theo removed the knife clutched in Liam’s hand and he’d be damned if he remembered where he put it down. His body filled Liam’s space, breathing in the same air as the alpha. He lifted his shaking hands to Liam’s neck, cupped on either side and his eyes undoubtedly fixed on Liam’s.

 

“Because… I am in love with you, Liam.”

 

With his heart on the verge of explosion, he pulled Liam closer to the madness in his chest, praying he’d stay. And then, with all of his courage, he spoke again,

 

“Because I _love_ you.”

 

Then, because Liam couldn’t process what Theo said, because it was too great of a thing for him to understand right then, he did the first thing his emotions allowed, he lashed out “I don’t know why the fuck you would do something like that, Theo!! For someone like _me_ , goddamnit!! You could have die-”

 

Theo grabbed his face and kissed him. He chanced it. He kissed him. Like he had wanted to for so long and it felt every bit as beautiful as he thought it would. Lips just as soft as they looked. But nothing, _nothing_ , could compare to the feeling when Liam fisted his shirt and pressed forward to kiss him back, a small groan coming from his chest. All the world around them seemed to sway in slow motion with them at the epicentre.

 

They broke off, finding each other’s eyes, almost crying almost laughing. And there in the river of greens and blues their wolves found what they had been looking for. Their mates. “Again,” Liam whispered looking down at the lips that kissed him.

 

Theo’s hands moved from Liam’s face to the back of his head, tangling in his long hair and he pulled him in again. He felt Liam’s mouth part against his, tongue flat and gentle against his lips as he kissed back.

 

Without breaking touch Theo pressed Liam into the counter and Liam’s hands came up to his back, one staying low, one riding up to his shoulders. They settled into the kiss again, deepening the strokes of their tongues. Warm hands came back to Liam’s face, careful and gentle, his thumb dipping in between their wet lips, needing to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, needing to touch.

 

But there was no doubt. It was love so real he could taste it.

 

He dragged the tip of his nose up the bridge of Liam’s, placing a kiss between his eyes where the frown of disbelief creased, “I love you, little alpha,” he said resting his chin atop Liam’s head, cradling the wolf to his chest.

 

Only thunderous heartbeats and feverish breathing filled the air, and Liam cut through it with the greatest thing he could ever say, “Fuck… I love you too. With all of me. I love you.” He screwed his eyes shut, breathing Theo in. _Did I say it right, was it good enough?_ He couldn’t tell, his heart wouldn’t let him hear.

 

He moved for another kiss but Theo pulled back locking their eyes, “Liam… don't… if you don't mean it.”

 

“Theo… I mean it. You don’t know how much I want this. I’ve been thinking of telling you… didn’t know how. Didn’t know how to make it sound the way it feels in my heart. Didn’t want to come off as half assing it, like I don’t care, when really, I _care_ … I care so fucking much, but maybe it’s _not_ enough… because you deserved so much caring…” He was rambling, he did that when he got nervous… or when pretty boys kissed him. This one specifically. This one above all others.

 

Theo smiled fondly, his eyes darting across Liam’s face and he shook his head, tears welling up. He held Liam’s face, so tender, as if his blue eyes would shatter into shards of crystals and Theo’s hand were all that kept it together, “That’s more than anyone’s ever cared before. I’ll take it.”

 

“I mean it.” Liam whispered again and then he bent at an angle, lifting Theo up. Thick thighs in the palms of his hands, “I love you. So much.” His lips found Theo’s again, satisfied now, that his words held enough weight.

 

Pressing his body into Liam's, Theo smiled and wrapped his arms around the alpha’s shoulders, "I think I love you more."  He pulled Liam’s lip between his teeth- repeating the move when Liam growled.

 

Liam pushed him into the wall, wood cracking at his back. He tilted his head back, smiling, as Liam's mouth attached to his neck, warm and wet and soft, chasing a delicious scent he’d suddenly noticed.

 

“Fuck!” a growl rumbled from his chest as his nose pressed to the edge of Theo’s jaw, smelling exactly what he craved, but unable to name it. All he knew was that it smelled like more and he _needed_ it. Desperately. He inhaled long and hard, trying to commit the scent to memory but it was just enough to drive his wolf insane with a foreign need, not to satiate him.

 

“Oh god… I’m sorry… I’m sorry!” he fought back the fangs that threatened to drop, inhaling deep shaky breaths.

 

“Hm, Don’t stop… please.”

 

Theo wasn’t helping the situation by tipping his head to the side giving Liam better access. His thighs closed around Liam’s waist, squeezing, trying not to moan as Liam’s hands discovered the planes of his body with such haste, soft lips gathered in his neck again, with purpose, licking and kissing one spot over and over. Not to mention holding him up perfectly against the wall.

 

“Theo, your body… feels so good, _smells_ so good. I just… Fuck!” His hands danced up Theo’s sides, skating over his pecs, his neck. All of him was warm and satin-soft, ripped to perfection under Liam’s hands.

 

“Li…” Theo said in a way that stilled Liam's frantic hands.

 

“Huh?”

 

“The bed…  _Go_.”

 

“Oh, oh holy fuck. Okay… Okay.”

 

Liam whirled them around, still holding Theo up by his thighs. Theo leaned down and kissed him again and Liam had a feeling he’d never get enough of these lips on his own now that he’d gotten a taste. Digging his nails into Theo’s legs, he walked them to the room just like he’d done not so long ago - but this time he held a smiling instead of bleeding wolf in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D !!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ethereal: extremely delicate and light in a way that seems not to be of this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to Alicia and Sofia who helped with this one. My smut machine malfunctioned and they helped me fix it! Love you girls.
> 
> Enjoy guys!
> 
> There is a bit of plot and sweetness toward the end. I apologise for all the smut!!! You can skip the sexy time, it won't have much impact on the story itself (for now).

Liam tried his best not to just burst into tears and sob his heart out, finally he got to have what his heart had been hungry for, finally he didn't have to just dream anymore. And the best part? Theo felt it too, he wasn't alone anymore, in every sense of the word, and by the look in his beta's eyes he'd probably never be alone ever again. He's fucking beautiful, and he loved him. Theo said he loved him, Liam's sure his heart was smiling just as wide as he was. So this was happiness huh? This was what it felt like?

 

They settled down on the mattress, still kissing, because after you had been craving something for so long you take as much of it as you can, and Liam eased down between Theo’s legs, hands snaking up his sweater, trembling fingers gliding over skin and bones, “Why are you shaking?” he asked, pulling away only marginally.

 

Theo's hands traveled up Liam thighs, squeezing when he reached the curve of his ass, “Why are _you_?” and he arched up for another kiss.

 

“Because I’m nervous, aren’t you?” Liam answered with a small smile, eyes softening and lips still touching Theo's. Nervous didn't even begin to explain it, this was the most precious thing Liam had ever been given, one wrong move could send it all shattering to pieces. All Liam wanted was for this to stay whole, to alway stay his, for this happiness to remain in his heart the way it was now.

 

“Yeah…pretty nervous.” and with that Theo pulled Liam closer, kissing him again, tugging at his hips so their groins pressed together.

 

Mid kiss Liam suddenly pulled away, “Uh, shit Theo… I didn’t … I mean you don't do this… I’m sorry!” he stuttered remembering that Theo was Demisexual and he doesn't just... Liam moved to get up, "I didn't mean to force you Theo... I just, it felt right, fuck I'm sorry..."

 

But Theo held him in place, “Liam, you dork,” he seemed to have cottoned on to what Liam implied, “Haven't you figured this out yet??”

 

With their faces still close and their noses pressed together,  Liam spoke softly, “I’m sorry... I don't know exactly. You said you don't… _do this_ if you don’t share a bond with that person. I don’t want you to do things you’re not comf..”

 

“Li… I ran after you for two fucking years because I couldn’t be without you... because _you_ are that person for me. You are that bond, I want to be with _you_ ,” Theo brushed a thumb over the sharp edge of Liam’s jaw, “only you.”

 

“Wow. Theo... why???” Liam asked, his voice a little high, frowning down at Theo.

 

Theo rolled his eyes, “Liam...because you’re strong and smart and kind and brave... and really beautiful,” eyes flicking over the fine features of the alpha's face, “And you saved me, little alpha. I love you for that.”

 

Before Liam could say anything else Theo tugged him down hard, kneading his ass again, “Now please, keep doing what you were doing.”

 

Liam gasped, instinctively grinding his hips, brushing his own erection alongside Theo’s.  He screwed his eyes shut, close to coming undone, “Theo… I’m… Im gonna…” and Theo moaned too under the weight of Liam's body.

 

Theo smelled too good, tasted too good, and he held him in place just right, working their hips into a maddening rhythm while keeping Liam’s mouth busy with warm and wet kisses so he couldn’t protest. Everything felt perfect. There was no way Liam would last like this and they hadn’t even removed their pants. That's when he realized it was more than physical arousal, Liam's heart, his mind, his shaking hands - all of him played on par, for once, nothing fought against something else- it all just melted together. And he loved it. He loved _him_ .

 

"Theo... fuck... this feels so good." And it honestly did- better than anything Liam could have ever imagined, their bodies moved together in just the right way, hearts setting a beat for them to move to- slow and hard.

"Feels amazing Li..."

 

Liam held Theo’s face, grinding faster, becoming breathless, thumb dipping into Theo’s open mouth, listening to him moan around his finger, "Oh god... that’s... Theo... fuck!"  And then, while looking into those stupid pretty eyes, Liam felt warmth prickle up his spine, his body crumbling with every thrust against Theo.

 

“Theo… oh god, I’m coming… fuck, I’m coming!!” He moaned loudly, hips stuttering, still looking deep into Theo’s eyes, endless fucking green, and came so hard he was sure he'd passed out.

"Liam... wow..."

He couldn't do much else except hold Liam and rub up and down his arm and back.

 

Wetness seeped through Liam’s jeans, still warm, while he kept moving, slower and sloppier but still enough to get Theo off, and he honestly couldn't wait to see that, to feel it against his body.

 

Theo grabbed the back of Liam's neck, "Li, don't stop please.. I'm close... please." his cheeks tinting light pink.

 

"I'm not stopping baby, come on." Liam whispered, rutting, wrapping his arms around Theo, pulling him close to his chest where his heart still beat insanely fast. He'd probably be able to come again but...

 

“Fuck… _fuck! Liam!_ ” Theo's body jerked, hands pulling at Liam's long golden strands of hair. Liam held on tight, feeling it happen, feeling Theo's dick twitch in his jeans as he came, hearing every ragged breath. Warm cheeks against his.

 

Liam breathed, trying to smile but overcome with numbness, both their bodies going slack, “I’m sorry… that was…”

 

Theo smiled too, dreamy, “Really fucking hot?”

 

“Yeah...” Liam exhaled, a panting breathless mess, “I love you so fucking much Theo.” and then he kissed him.  He still felt like it wasn't enough though, didn’t express exactly how he felt inside. There must be words more powerful to say but Liam couldn’t think of it right then, not with Theo Raeken coursing through his veins and clinging to every fibre of him.

 

“I love you too Li, you've got no idea,” Theo didn’t think he’d ever grow tired of saying it. Another kiss, “I love you.” he waited long enough to say it and it sounded so much better out loud than it did in his mind while he was running after Liam’s scent- that’s all his brain kept repeating, _I love you I love you I love you, I will find you. I have to find you._

 

And he found so much more than he hoped for. There was a  little place in his heart filled with something beautiful after Liam told him he loves him too- a place that had always been dark and scared and lonely but now... now it was swimming with light and hope, and it tingled all the way down to the tips of his fingers- _Love. Belonging. Pack._

 

“You blush when you come…” Liam noted quietly, pulling his shirt over his head then helping Theo’s off too, their chests bare and warm where they pressed together.

 

“Yeah… it just happens… don’t know why.”

 

"Always?"

 

Theo nodded, "Yeah..."

 

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

  


Theo didn’t expect it, but he was ready again, just because Liam touched him. The simple feel of loving fingers roaming his body, sweet lips pressed to his skin - it was enough, “Liam… I… I’m very… I’ll come again…” flushing at his words.

 

Liam looked up, smiled, and kissed over the blush, cooling it with the tip of his tongue, “I love this… it’s adorable,” he said, admiring the pretty pink on bronze skin. His movements slow and careful.

"It's embarrassing."

 

"It makes me happy." Liam dipped his head down into Theo’s neck again, breathing in deep. There was something there that drove him wild. A certain spot in Theo’s neck, where blood pulsed through his veins at a dizzying pace, where Liam could feel Theo’s heart beating against his lips each time he kissed him there and it cried out to Liam in a plea he couldn't ignore, making his heart squeeze and all his reservations collapse.

 

“You feel so good Theo, you smell so good, I don't know what the hell it is but…” Liam groaned, blunt teeth pulling in frustration at the skin there, hips pushing Theo into the mattress.

 

“Liam… what do you need” Theo asked, sounding like he already knew the answer- and aware that, despite just having orgasmed, he was hard again. They both were.

 

Liam exhaled, shaky and ragged, bringing his face up to his beta’s, nuzzling along his stubbled jaw until the tips of their noses touched and he looked into the green eyes he'd kill for and said, “I want to fuck you.”

 

He was immediately embarrassed that he blurted it out like that, but all he knew was that he needed to be as close to Theo as possible, and it hummed almost overbearingly in his bones. Liam nuzzled his nose under Theo’s chin, hiding the red on his cheeks, and took a deep breath again taking the scent in like a drug that had him hooked from the first hit. Claws ripped into the sheets beneath him, his head spinning in anticipation of Theo's answer.  This urgent unbearable hunger would be the end of him, he thought, _Theo_ would be the end of him. But also his beginning, and everything in between, "Please, I want to fuck you... if that's what you want too... I really..." he rested his forehead on the beta's shoulder, "I wanna make love to you Theo... make you feel good. Please?"

 

Theo groaned in response, nudging Liam's face toward his, eyes dropping to his lips before teasing over them with his tongue, feather light and daring, and then he answered with that raspy voice, “Then do it little alpha…. Fuck me.”

 

Liam growled heatedly, his heart fluttering with excitement as he parted his mouth and let Theo in, kissing harder and deeper, the wolf in him howling louder than Liam had ever heard.

 

Theo eased back onto the mattress and lifted his hips to push his pants down, damp from his release, and Liam helped with trembling hands to yank it off, not at all prepared for the sight.

 

Liam froze, staring at Theo's dick, hand resting on his thighs, - which were really thick and soft and muscular, he definitely planned to spoil them with kisses at some point - "Holy shit, Theo…”

 

“You’ve seen it before Liam,” Theo said with a small smile while pushing his hair back, squirming somewhat under Liam's fixed gaze.

 

“Not like this… you’re beautiful.” he looked up to Theo's face again, clamping down on his lip. Theo’s cock laid semi hard and heavy on his stomach, in a pool of white liquid gathered just below his hip bone. Liam leaned down, cupping his hand over Theo’s length to move it out of the way, and licked it up.

 

“Oh, fuck… Liam… what are doing??”  although shocked, he sighed at the pure animalistic side of Liam he saw for the first time and how the alpha marvelled over his body, like it was the most glorious thing he’d ever seen. If you asked Liam he'd say it was.

 

“You taste good... everywhere.” Liam said licking his lips and reaching down beside the mattress. He took out a familiar white tube and smiled mischievously at Theo.

 

“I knew you took the lube you little shit!” Theo smiled back at him, blushing and it stopped Liam in his tracks. He stared for a good five seconds before laying back down next to Theo, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, “It’s not that I was expecting us to sleep together, I just, I figured I could use it anyway… because… well,  you drive me insane.” He added shyly, playing with the tube.

 

“You’re not the only one.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Hm,” Theo nodded.

 

“Did you… touch yourself, you know, while you were here?”

 

“God. Liam…” Theo looked away, scratching at his beard.

 

“I’m sorry!” Liam laughed, tangling their legs together, “I’ll just die if you did… I mean-”

 

“Yeah, I did." he gestured to the door, "In the shower.”

 

“Oh. Fuck. That’s so hot.” Liam kissed him, a naughty grin tugging at his lips, “I did too-”

 

“I know! I was there. I heard you.”

 

“Oh, yeah...” Liam remembered. Theo walked in just when he’d finished grinding into the mattress that one morning, “I still wanted to say sorry for that, I shouldn't have-”

 

Theo tilted Liam’s face so their eyes met, “Never apologise for that, you sound amazing when you moan. I loved it. Almost crushed our cup in my hands listening to you, but I loved it.”

 

They grinned dumbly - Liam especially, at "our cup"-  realizing they can do this now, they can say the things they’ve only been thinking.

 

And then they kissed like it would never be enough.

 

Liam broke the kiss off, “Have you ever? I mean are you…” he fumbled, not sure how to ask. This was his first time with another man too and he'd only ever been with Hayden before that and it’s all a little intimidating and he hadn’t seen porn in years and that's really all he had to go by and…

 

“Li…” Theo took Liam's face in his hands and he smiled, genuine and endearing like Liam was the sweetest thing ever, “I'm a big fucking virgin. Okay? So just… yeah.”

 

Liam sighed with relief and he wanted to say it shocked him because with a face and body like Theo's he would have been spreading himself super thin amongst everything that moved, but he shut up and kissed Theo instead, “Great. Me too. Kind of. I mean…”

 

“Liam…”

 

“Right! Lube!” his heart pounded suddenly, too fast- he wasn’t ready for any of this, not ready to touch Theo like this or for Theo to touch him. He didn't even really know what he was doing, going purely on instinct and what his body told him to do, mostly what his heart told him to do. His heart told him to be gentle - and he couldn't go wrong there - but it also told him that all of this could break so fucking easily because of how fragile it was.

 

It's like their delicate hearts balanced on the lip of a cliff, and if they fell - if they carried on - and Liam did this all wrong, if he hurt Theo, their hearts would just plummet down and shatter on the rocks below. And that's where Liam began trembling again, shaking, but as always Theo's voice grounded him and soft warm hands soothed the worry away.

 

"Hey..." Theo steadied Liam’s face, tilting his chin up, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones, “Stop stressing Liam. Just touch me. We're doing this together. I want this, I want you.”

 

He felt a little better just knowing Theo wanted this as much as he did, that he quivered the same way Liam did, “I just want to make you the happiest you've ever been, Theo. I don’t want to mess up. Not again. I need to do this right.”

 

“You love me little alpha, you’re doing plenty right already.”

 

“I do. I really love you.” God, the words just felt so right in his mouth, his heart grew so warm saying it.  Deliriously happy. Liam rocked into Theo, bare skin and denim. He growled at the offending material and quickly scurried to unbutton his jeans, crawling out and kicking them aside.

 

Theo spread his legs, allowing Liam a warm space between them that seems like it was made only for his body, the alpha’s hips slotted in perfectly. Naked warm skin melting together, “Jesus, you’re warm… and soft.” Liam breathed out onto Theo’s skin, placing small gentle kisses along his chest, “You, uh, did you wanna be on top?”

 

Theo shook his head, murmuring, “No. You. Wanna feel you in me.” His hands smoothed up and down Liam’s sides, enjoying the feel of the muscles working as Liam moved.

 

“Fuck, Theo…” And then it hit him- _I’m naked. On top on Theo. And Theo is naked too and we’re about to make love._ Never in his wildest dreams could he have made up something like this. Liam inhaled deeply, calming himself, “I’m going to open you up okay?” he remembered this part of watching porn- was always his favourite.

 

He looked at Theo and wanted to cry because the amount of trust on the boy’s face was too much, what Liam felt was too much, he still didn't feel like he deserved any of this, but Theo’s heart insisted on being his and he'd take care of it as if it was his own

  
  
“Okay…” Theo replied with a small smile, swallowing hard as Liam slipped down his trembling body. His fingers curled into the blanket by his side when Liam reached his cock, lips ghosting along the shaft, “Can I?” the alpha asked, and Theo couldn't help but laugh, “Liam, don’t ask me that. Yes. I’m yours. All of it is yours.”

 

Liam growled, as did his wolf. It’s all he wanted to hear. His lips latched onto Theo’s hip bone, sucking hard to form a bruise and Theo bucked up, groaning and when Liam took him into his mouth, Theo nearly blacked out, “Fuck! Liam!” his hands flew down to Liam’s hair, gripping bunches of it as Liam’s head moved.

 

Theo looked down just as Liam looked up at him, eyes flashing bright crimson, mouth stretched around him, “Oh, holy fuck, you’re gorgeous… Liam, you’re fucking beautiful.” He could repeat it for all eternity because he had honestly never seen something as perfect as Liam in this way before, surpassing anything he’s ever imagined.

 

Liam's head bobbed up and down, submerging Theo in wet heat, jerking at the base as he sucked, leaving his hair to drop into his eyes. “I’m gonna come! Liam stop!” Theo’s fingers gently slipping from his hair, "Sorry... But, you're impossibly gorgeous... I can't."

 

Liam pulled off, wiping his mouth, “So are you Theo. The most gorgeous.” He looked down, tugging Theo’s dick gently.  It was the first time he told a boy that so sincerely, and he felt kind of dumb saying it but also so liberated when Theo thanked him quietly and out of breath.

 

Liam squeezed some lube out onto his finger, hand shaking as he pressed it against Theo’s entrance. The beta's body shivered, and he tensed up, but Liam placed a soft kiss to his inner thigh, “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you, I promise.” his other hands stroked soothingly up and down Theo's other thigh, gently pushing it open, "And you can tell me to stop okay?

 

“I know," Theo replied immediately, “I’m just… this is nuts, I never thought we’d…”

 

“Me neither. Me neither Theo... Relax for me, please?” Liam massaged harder around the muscle until it relaxed under the pad of his finger, still covering his thigh in wet kisses, drawing Theo's attention there instead. When his body eased out Liam slipped his finger in.

 

Theo gasped, clenching around Liam’s finger, “That okay?” Liam asked, watching in awe as the digit moved in and out of Theo so perfectly.

 

“Yes, keep going.” His voice strained with nerves and pleasure, “Feels good,” he said looking down, watching Liam’s face light up at the words, “Yeah?”

 

Theo nodded then laughed not because anything was funny but because it felt so surreal- the huge smile on Liam’s face, the incredibly soft lips against his thigh, Liam’s hands on him, _in_ him, touching him like this… it was surreal.

 

Liam gauged his expression, Theo seemed relaxed, “I’m adding another finger… tell me if it's okay,” then he slipped in one more. There was a whine then a low growl and then Theo moved his hips, thrusting into Liam’s finger, body rippling on the mattress. He saw stars, hearing nothing but Liam’s heart. “Shit, yes, Liam please, I need more… Liam, please!”

 

"Oh my... yeah... that's good..." Theo tilted his head back and his voice sounded raspier than usual, and Liam lifted his hand slightly, pumping faster into him, then drawing circles with the two submerged fingers, scissoring them open, watching the muscle stretch. He inserted another one and bit down on Theo’s thigh, once again giving him something else to focus on instead of the uncomfortable stretch.

 

Liam worked the muscle open, feeling it stretch and loosen around his fingers, he was sure he’d spent a considerable amount of time there too because Theo looked on the cusp of exploding, moaning broken and incoherent, grabbing at the sheets like a lifeline.

 

“Jesus Liam!!… yes… yes,” Theo's cock dripped out onto his stomach, letting Liam know he was close to coming again, so Liam climbed back up, fingers slowly withdrawing despite Theo’s protesting whine. Liam pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered, “You ready?” his voice soothing and calm.

 

Theo whispered back a quiet “yes” snaking his hands around Liam’s neck, heart pounding.

 

Liam reached down, squirting a ridiculous amount of lube out between Theo’s legs and some onto his dick, smearing it in. He noticed then he’d been leaking too and his tip was a dark shade of pink.

 

“You sure that’s enough lube?” Theo snorted in amusement, seeming more relaxed than before.

 

“You can never be over-lubed.”

 

“Then you should have kept all five tubes I threw at you if this is how you’re gonna act.” Theo smirked, adjusting so his legs fell open further for Liam.

 

Liam intertwined their hands next to Theo’s head, his forehead resting against Theo’s. He angled himself until his tip pressed against Theo's hole, warm and inviting and he felt it flutter lightly against him.

 

“Theo, I’m going to lose my mind with you,” his eyes flicked over the boy’s face, “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Theo answered with a kiss as Liam’s thick tip slid in, “Oh,... god” his body arched up and he left the kiss behind, his fist tight in Liam’s hair.

 

“You okay?” Liam asked, his hand squeezing Theo’s where they were tangled, the other hand carding through Theo’s hair, over and over, soothing strokes until Theo opened his eyes again, "It's okay not to be... you can tell me..."

 

Theo forced his eyes open, urging himself to breathe, “Yeah. I'm okay, just felt a bit weird, but I'm fine."

 

Liam studied his face, and he looked so innocent in that moment- pupils blown wide and lips parted, breathing fast and depending totally on Liam to take care of him, his features dithering between a smile and a frown as he adjusted to the warm stretch.

 

“Can I move?”

 

“Yes. Slow… Please.”

 

“Of course. Whatever you need.”

 

Liam pushed forward, stretching the tight ring of muscles and Theo clenched around him, “Breathe Theo… breathe, just breathe.” Because if he kept squeezing Liam like that, this would be over really fast, "You're tight... this is hard..." and he chuckled quietly, keeping still.

 

"Liam, don't make me laugh now!" but he laughed anyway, relaxing, "Come on, move." he tapped Liam's hips, taking a deep breath.

 

"Okay okay, tell me if it hurts..." Liam kissed him again and pushed in all the way, slowly like Theo asked.

 

“Fuck!” Theo groaned and writhed as the burn spread around his entrance and Liam sunk in and finally filled him up. “Fine?” Liam asked and held still waiting for Theo to accustom, trying not to focus on how everything in that area was now pulsing and warm and wet.

 

The burn subsided, turning into pleasure and then Theo tossed his head back and moaned, and that sounded like heaven to Liam. “Move… Please move now.” He clamped his teeth down on his fist, muffling another moan when Liam shifted in him.

 

“Hey.” Liam removed Theo's hand from his mouth, “Let me hear you, don’t stop it. If you feel good, I wanna know about it.”

 

"Demanding huh," but Theo grinned and placed the hand on Liam’s thigh instead.  Then, Liam pulled back slightly and pushed in again, shivering as his skin dragged along Theo’s, his mind racing with thoughts of only his beta, his sweet, sweet smell, his warm skin and his beautiful lips, ones that are smiling at him and he almost melted.

 

“Theo… Tell me what it feels like... I want to know what you feel.” He said while rotating his hips as he moved, guided by Theo’s breathing and whimpering. _He likes it… he likes me fucking him,_ Liam thought while watching Theo’s eyes flutter with each thrust and then exhaling loudly, raggedly.

 

“I don’t know… I can’t… It’s…”

 

“Try… _please_.”

 

“It’s hot… it’s hot and wet and… fuck!”

 

“Do you want to stop?” Liam asked, holding still.

 

“No! No, it just feels fucking good Liam, it feels amazing.” He said, his expression softening when he looked at the alpha.

 

Theo listened to the beating of their hearts and to how fast they both breathed and tucked Liam’s long hair behind his ear  when it fell forward again, “It’s overwhelming, is all… like a flood of fucking emotions Li, because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I don't know these feelings, it's all new to me. It's _everything_ little alpha. You’re everything.”

 

Liam believed him, so he moved again. Smooth and long drags in and out, “Does it hurt?” Liam asked breathlessly, his thighs pressing Theo’s further apart with each thrust.  

 

“No, you can go faster.” Theo linked his legs around Liam’s waist, deepening the angle and cried out when Liam hit a blinding spot in him, “Oh fuck!! Just there… just like that!”

 

Liam realised Theo’s dick had gone untouched and wrapped his hand around it, jerking in time with his thrusts. They wound up in a brilliant rhythm, slow and intense, each thrust scattering Theo’s eyes with fireworks as Liam hit the same spot again and again.

 

“Oh wow, Liam…. Don’t stop, don’t stop, oh...oh god!” Theo cried out, pulling Liam down to his mouth, his lips set against the alphas but not kissing, he couldn’t. Instead, he breathed in Liam’s air like it belonged to him, and Liam’s hips kept snapping into him until he couldn’t feel his limbs anymore and his cheeks flared bright red as thick white streak of his cum spurted out onto his stomach and over Liam’s fingers.

 

“Holy shit baby… that’s beautiful…” Liam’s eyes shifted crimson again at the sight and Theo chuckled looking high, doused in euphoria with a ridiculous smile on his face. Liam then slipped an arm around Theo’s slack body, holding him solid and thrust into him hard and uncoordinated a few more times until his vision went white and he filled Theo up to the brim as he came too, moaning his beta’s name over and over.

 

Liam moaned against Theo’s shoulder, chasing air, spent and broken in such a perfect way. Happier than any other time he could recall. Theo's arms wrapped around him, pressing soft soothing kisses to his ear like a whisper.

 

They fell off that cliff... but nothing shattered. Their hearts were submerged in waves of the purest love, gentle hands and broken whimpers as they drowned in each other.

 

After staying like that for a while to regain his breath, Liam pulled out slowly, grabbing his discarded shirt to clean Theo up, glancing shyly at him.

 

“Liam…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“That was amazing… thank you.”

 

“It was, and thank you for letting me... you know... do that.” Liam smiled and crawled into Theo’s side, wrapping his body around the beta’s, “God, Theo, you are so properly beautiful…” he said staring at Theo’s face as he fell asleep.

 

Theo mumbled back and hugged Liam tight, “ _You’re_ beautiful Li… like an angel.”

  


* * *

 

Liam woke to an unfamiliar smell, Theo still curled naked into his side, his nose twitched in the air trying to place it. Tomatoes? Herbs?

 

He placed a soft kiss to Theo’s forehead, swiping back a stray hair. He looked entirely peaceful like that, the misty air in the cabin made him look even softer. Liam tucked the blanket in at his sides, stroking down the stubble on his cheek, “Fucking pretty,” he whispered before writhing out of Theo’s slack hold. He quietly slipped on a pair of sweats, a hoodie and socks on and padded to the kitchen.

 

Once there he realised what the smell was… the pasta they’d abandoned. Cooked and ready to eat. The pot was placed in the middle of the table, it looked delicious, complete with a bay leaf on the top.

 

_When the hell did Theo do this? Where’d he get a bay leaf? Thought he couldn’t cook?_

Liam checked the sun, it was just starting to sink behind the mountain, meaning they’d been asleep for about four hours during which Theo must have woken up and finished the meal. Naked. Liam was sort of pissed that he missed it but smiled that Theo made the effort.

 

It wasn’t long before he heard shuffling behind him. Theo never stayed in bed for long if Liam wasn’t there. He’d also changed into warmer clothes.

 

“Hi…” Theo wrapped his arms around Liam’s middle and kissed his neck, leaving his nose nuzzled behind his ear.

 

“Hey there killer…” he said and leaned into Theo. He felt so warm and steady and smelled so content.

 

Theo’s eyes fell on the pasta and he let Liam go, moving to the table with haste, “Oh great! I’m starving! Come… Sit!” he said in a silly voice, pulling the chair out, patting it excitedly while grinning. Accepting the invite, Liam sat down smiling watching him fumble around for cutlery, “This smells so good.”

 

“I know right?” 

 

Liam frowned a little but Theo handed him the fork, pulling up the single couch next to him. He folded his legs underneath him, tangled their hands in his lap and watched as Liam twirled the spaghetti around the fork, bringing it to Theo’s mouth first.

 

Taking the bite, Theo smiled, sucking a stray strip of spaghetti into his mouth. 

 

Liam’s eyes were on him, almost never leaving, even when he took a bite himself.

 

“You shifted. On your own. You know earlier, when you…. you know.” Theo nodded back to the bedroom, chewing, continuing when Liam’s shoulders went up in question, “You’ve never shifted as an alpha without being prompted first.”

 

"When I came?" 

 

"Yeah, when you came." he looked down, hiding an adorable smile.

 

What an observation. Liam himself hadn't noticed, and he realised then how much Theo must love him to be tuned into something like that. His heart swelled and he swallowed down his food, “Oh,” then he grinned, satisfied and happy and kind of proud, “I guess I did huh.”

 

“I’m proud of you.” Theo squeezed his hand, “You’ve come a long way Li…”

 

Liam looked down, a warm blush played at his cold cheeks, “Thanks to you.”

 

“No. Not me. _You._ You’re strong. Look, I know you’re not okay yet, maybe you won’t ever be…” His voice broke a little as he looked into innocent, wide blue eyes, seeing the painful cracks behind them, “I just want you to know I’m here. I’ll never leave you.”

 

Liam’s throat constricted, “That’s why I love you Theo. You never left me. When everyone else did – Hayden, Stiles... Scott… Even when I left you,” tears fell down when he blinked, and before the rest fell Theo swiped them up, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you cry…” he said quietly, thumb stroking at Liam’s cheek.

 

“No, I think maybe crying is good. Maybe I get it out that way, you know… the guilt, grief. Maybe crying gets rid of it bit by bit.”

 

“Yeah.” Theo cried plenty the night before, and it didn’t make anything go away, but the load felt a hell of a lot lighter, “Crying’s good.”

 

Liam sniffed, giving him a small smile, “Open wide.” he said, bringing another bite up and wiped the splatter of sauce from Theo’s chin.

 

With full cheeks Theo leaned back, “You’re a great cook. I chose well.”

 

“What?”

 

He gestured to the pasta, “The food, it's good,” then frowned when Liam gaped at him, blinking slowly.

 

Suddenly the alpha was up, hauling over the side of the table, claws flipped out, and his eyes red as he sniffed up in the air. He darted from one corner of the cabin to another, checking the bedroom then the bathroom. Breathless and urgent, smelling anxious.

 

“Liam?? What the hell??”

 

“Theo….” He swallowed the fangs back, panting, “Theo, I didn’t make the fucking pasta… I thought it was you??”

 

Theo’s jaw dropped, eyes flashing electric blue and he shot up from his chair, “Can you smell anything??” he asked before also scenting the air.

 

“No, just the fucking food. Nothing else.”

 

Theo flung the door open, checking the outside but there was only the mountain, “Hey Steve.” He greeted absentmindedly before closing the door, “There’s no one….. Who did this?”

 

“I don’t know; do you feel funny?? Like maybe it was poisoned? That girl from before, the one who...” suddenly his heart beat with concern.

 

“No, no I don't, and we would have heard her or at least have picked up a scent… Do you feel funny?”

 

“Nothing.” Liam was floored, digging around in the pasta with the fork, “Maybe you did do it, like in your sleep or something?”

 

“Maye _you_ did?” he spat out defensively.

 

Liam rolled his eyes, “One of us had to do it, pasta is great but it doesn’t cook itself.”

 

“Well don’t look at me like that. I can’t cook anything.”

 

Liam looked flustered, his heart beating too fast and his chemos were all wrong, Theo wanted the sweet scent back. “Hey… come here…” he pulled Liam closer, bringing their lips together softly.

 

He sighed contently when Liam melted into him, almost swaying. He backed him up to the table, pushing the pot out of the way and lifted Liam up, his one hand toying with the band of his sweats.

 

There was no immediate danger, no extra heartbeats, no foreign scents, just them and a mysterious pot of pasta on a mountain. And the smell of sex lingering in the air…

 

Theo leaned down, face nuzzled in Liam’s neck, and he'd probably never get used to how good that felt, how safe, “It was probably one of us. Sleepy and too fucked out of our brains to realize.” He nibbled at the skin in the dip of Liam’s collarbone, “But if you’re still worried, I can… offer a little distraction?”

 

*

 

Theo’s hands slipped up underneath Liam’s sweater, gliding up to his pecks, finger flipping gently over the hard nipples and Liam gasped, arching into Theo, “Fuck that feels good.” So Theo did it again and again while also kissing Liam.

 

His hands slid down again, tugging Liam’s pants down and Liam lifted his hips to get it off. Theo didn’t need to do much to get him hard, “You okay with me doing this?”

 

“Wha-?” Liam’s eyes were closed, lips parted while his dick twitched in Theo’s hand, not hearing a word he said.

 

“Can I suck your dick Liam, you dork?” a smudge of pre-cum and a faint whine spilled at that, just as Theo looked down, “Oh… wow okay…” and Theo, after staring at it like it was gold, lazily licked it off his finger and began jerking gently.

 

“That’s a yes…” Liam breathed with a playful  smile, tilting his head back.

 

“God, you’re adorable. You really are.” And with that he bent down and slipped Liam into his mouth, head bobbing up and down slowly, testing how far back he could go and easing up when he strained too much. He licked thoroughly over the tip, lips sliding down the length and back up before he sunk down again and his movements became quicker. One hand played with Liam’s nipple, the other jerked while sucking him off.

 

A hand fisted in his hair, another cupping his chin, tenderly tilting, he blinked up to see Liam staring at him in amazement, watching himself slide in and out of Theo’s mouth, “You have any idea how good that feels? How good you make me feel?” Liam asked with such reverence it left Theo’s heart lurching and he blinked slowly in acknowledgement.

 

Liam shook his head in disbelief as Theo sunk down deep again, the alpha’s face lax with pleasure, and then he felt Liam’s cock twitch, the little veins on his shaft filling up, pulsing beneath his fingers.

 

“I’m gonna come now baby…” he rasped, pulling Theo off with care. Taking his cock from Theo, he jerked a few more times then let out a low gritted moan as he came against Theo’s open mouth, the hand in his hair holding him in place.

 

As Liam pumped out the last drops, Theo gave him a wink that said “I love you” and Liam's heart replied with a skip, he could only smile and gasp and thank the universe for this boy who somehow knew how to love him exactly the way he needed.

 

Looking at Theo like that, curved lips covered in Liam’s release, he thought about how good Theo’s mouth tasted and that also had him thinking about that spot in Theo’s neck again, his heroin.

 

“Come here…” he dragged Theo up, slipping his hand down the front of his sweats and the beta practically dissolved when Liam pulled him closer and tugged at his dick in long slow strokes. “Liam…”

 

Liam scooped up the mess on Theo's lips, wiped it on his sweats and kissed him, tasting them together.

 

Liam nuzzled his nose into Theo’s neck again, breathing in deep, growling low, getting dizzy off the scent, his brain swimming in it as it set all his sense on fire- the feel of Theo’s smooth cock in his hand, the wetness coming from the tip, Theo’s fingers digging into his waist, fast warm breaths in his ear warning of impending release and a loving heart beating in time with his own.

 

“Let me see your eyes” Theo whispered, begging, and Liam pulled back, his eyes already alight . And then, as Theo stared into the pools of glittering rubies, he fell apart in Liam’s hands with soft whimpers and shaking legs, cheeks glowing pink.

 

Liam bit his lip and smiled at that, hundred percent sure he now had a new favorite color.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut again but it's captured between the two horizontal lines for those who aren't comfortable reading that kind of thing. Doesn't affect the story in anyway.

Liam’s slept better than he had in a long time, given the amount of physical activity his body endured the night before, multiple times, so the disorientation and confusion came as no surprise when he woke. That dozy, satiated kind of confused you only get after a deep and peaceful sleep.

 

He stretched out on the bed basking in the dull misty peach light of the early morning, it made him feel extra sleepy, wanting to cuddle up to Theo again but he turned to find the side of the bed Theo had claimed as his own, empty. He missed the feel of the other wolf’s body immediately, the feel of Theo’s fingers raking through his hair, thick thighs squeezing around his middle, soft warm lips… that smell.

 

“Theo?” but there was no answer. His scent was still strong on the sheets, on Liam, but Liam couldn’t hear him around. He hauled himself out of bed, grumbling protests while wrapping himself in the blanket, still naked.

 

Theo wasn’t in the kitchen either, their cup still untouched and the water pot empty. His heart ticked up a beat, “Theo??” Liam thought for a second how horrid it would be if everything was all just an incredibly vivid dream, if Theo was just a dream… he shuddered. _God, Theo just answer me._

 

Just as Liam’s heart picked up again and got ready to call louder, he heard Theo’s heart and then, “I’m here. Coming.” He was outside, coming from the back if Liam placed the sound correctly. “Okay.” he replied, waiting.

 

Theo appeared in the door not long after, looking a little coy. He had one hand behind his back, the other scratching at his beard, “Hi.” he said and Liam kind of melted at the silly smile, but what caught his attention was the shy, half mischievous glint in his eye, lips pursing slightly.

 

“What’ve you got there, killer?” he stepped forward, noticing that Theo had gotten dressed in the soft blue sweater and a pair of black sweats... and the ugly rain boots.

 

“I, uh, don’t exactly know what to do after… uhm… sex, and I don’t want you to think that it didn’t mean anything, because it meant everything, so…” and for the first time Theo babbled nervously holding up a small cooler bag, “I found it in the back, by the wood… thought we could, uh….” Words failed, and Liam knew Theo had never done this or acted like this and was completely out of his depths.

 

Liam asked quietly, “Have a picnic?” and Theo nodded. Then Liam grinned and moved to him, stepping into his arms, kissing the heated skin on Theo’s cheek, “Sounds like the perfect thing to do after sex.”

 

Theo tried to hide his ridiculous grin, “Then maybe we can have more sex?” He already blushed bright pink, right? Might as well take advantage.  His arm slinked around Liam's middle bringing the alpha’s lips to his, slipping a soft groan at the touch.

 

“Now _that_ sounds like an amazing plan.”  Liam said, dropping the blanket so he could hold Theo properly, only to have Theo pull away and choke back a gasp.

 

“Jesus Liam… you’re naked.” but he didn’t look away, in fact his eyes stayed fixed on where Liam’s abs flexed under his fingers.

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty naked…”

 

“You can say that again.” he licked his lips, tracing his thumbs down Liam’s v-line, then glanced up at him, “You’re really, _like really_ , hot. But,” he said, struggling to keep eye contact, “if we’re gonna do what I plan on doing today, we better get packing.”

 

“Why don’t we just do each other?”

 

“Liam. Seriously don’t tempt me,” he leaned down, swaying a little, kissing the dip under Liam’s jaw, “I really want to go somewhere, want to show you something. So stop seducing me.”

 

“Never!” and then Liam spun around, grabbed the blanket, letting it billow behind him like a cape and ran to the bathroom. This was all ridiculous really, this dumb giddy feeling in his chest, in every bone of his body. _Love feels fucking great,_ he thought, smiling while running the water, “You wanna shower with me??”

 

“I showered when I got up. You made a mess of me.”

 

Yeah, okay so Liam blushed at that. He remembered the sounds Theo made for him, how his claws dug into the skin of his back, eyes flashing blue before rolling back as he came. And that blush. That damn blush. He definitely wanted to do all of that again.

 

Liam showered as fast and as thorough as the freezing water allowed and dried off at pretty much the same pace. Hurriedly slipping on sweats, a big sweater that drowned his small frame, and then his sneakers and ran back out, “I’m ready!”

 

Theo chuckled, “Yeah dork, we need to pack some shit to eat first. And coats. And something to sleep on. You got sleeping bags?” he packed a few cheesy bread rolls into the cooler. He proved really clumsy with anything food related and Liam watched from the couch, amused, while Theo stuffed more things into the container- cookies, apples, fruit rolls, tomatoes. He didn’t even question it.

 

“Uh, I actually have a tent, with one of those thick bottoms. Wait, are we staying over? Camping?”

 

“You ran away with your tent?”

 

“No, obviously not. I bought it when Chuck dropped me in town. I didn’t exactly know where I was gonna stay.”

 

Theo moved to the bedroom and Liam followed. He folded the blanket, “Who’s Chuck?” he asked eyebrows raised, continuing to pack two clean shirts, their jeans and toothbrushes. And lube.

 

“Oh, Chuck gave me a lift here, after I… you know. Bailed.”  

 

“I should find Chuck and rip his head off.”

 

“Why don’t we just go on this date huh killer? No murders.”

 

Theo stopped and turned to Liam, “A date…” like he hadn’t really considered that at all.

 

“I mean, if that’s what you want? If that’s what you wanna call it, otherwise we don’t have to call it anything, we can just…”

 

“Liam. It’s a date okay?” he smiled, “The first date.”

 

 

 

Theo led them downhill, not far from the cabin, to a place where the mountain split and a beautiful clear blue stream flowed between it, surprisingly not frozen. The canyon walls stretched up to the clear sky, echoing every sound. Nearby, tied to a narrow and dilapidated pier, in the middle of nowhere, a faded orange canoe floated listlessly.

 

“Fuck, it’s beautiful… how did you…”

 

“When we shifted that time, and we were howling on the edge of the lookout… You can see it from there,”

 

It left Liam breathless, the incredible scenery in front of him and the fact that Theo had thought about bringing him there for a while, but mostly - and he realised this looking back to where Theo smiled while staring at him - because this boy loved him.

 

Liam surged forward, bringing Theo’s face to his and kissing him hard. And there they melted into one another again, the kiss burning away the cold. Liam held Theo’s cheek, and pulled back a bit, “I love you Theo... so fucking much.”

 

Theo tilted his head, smiled tenderly, smoothing Liam’s hair back, “And I love you. More.”

 

“Come on,” Theo said, taking Liam’s hand and heading to the canoe, “we’re going for a ride… a float?”

 

Liam swore Theo’s smile was perhaps the best thing in this entire world, “You can row?”

 

He laughed, “I can try?”

 

“Oh god, we’re gonna drown. Just know I loved you and tell my mom I loved her too.”

 

“You’re funny. Get in little alpha. You and the jokes. Come on.” he helped Liam in, chuckling when the canoe wobbled and Liam let out a high-pitched yelp, and again when Theo got in and it dipped under his weight. But then Theo kissed him and he forgot about everything except the soft lips on his and the way Theo held his hand, how it ran hot through his veins.

 

Liam wished then that he had a camera with him to capture that exact look on Theo’s face, honest and open and happy. Really happy. Just like Liam. Thing weren’t perfect, there were still a world full of issues waiting for him outside of his little bubble, far away from the mountain he called home. But right here - floating directionless on a lake under the glinting rays of the sun, with a beautiful boy who couldn’t row for shit - right here he was absolutely and without a doubt happy to his very core.

 

“So… we’re just kind of spinning around in a circle…” Liam said after a while, not that he cared.

 

“Yeah, okay, so I don’t exactly know what the hell I’m doing. I can’t make it go straight.”

 

“Please never go straight Theo.” and then Liam took one of the paddles, “Come on. You go left, me right then swap… Theo no… your spatula goes left first… oh… we’re going in a circle again.”

 

Liam turned to find Theo in a silent fit of laughter, hence the circling canoe, “Spatula???” Theo cackled.

 

“What’s it called?  Whatever. You can’t row. Stop making fun of me!”

 

“Liam, no one can fucking row. And besides you said not to go straight, so...”

 

Liam gave up his one-sided effort in getting them to shore, turning to face Theo. He crawled closer until he knelt between Theo’s legs, steadying the tippy canoe, “I know. I kind of like you a little bent.” and then kissed him, slow and soft and deeper as Theo pulled him closer.

 

He was sure only love made you feel this way, like you’re floating inches above the earth at any given time, and yes, he loved Hayden but not like this. This, was something deadly, something wild, and it spread through his blood like fire more and more with each kiss and it would certainly consume him one day. And, judging by the way Theo’s hands fisted in Liam’s hair, how he pulled him closer even when their chests were already pressed together… his heart skipping so stupidly, and the faint whines slipping between kisses… Liam knew he felt the same. And that alone was enough to blow him away.

 

They only realised once the canoe hit a rock, bumping them apart, that they'd drifted to land. Theo strung it up to a nearby tree and helped Liam out. “This looks so peaceful,” Liam said, slinging the duffle bag over his shoulder, following Theo onto a small stone platform.

 

“I think we can set up right here,” Theo stopped under an overhanging rock, hollowed almost in the shape of their tent.

 

Liam dropped the bag, digging for the matches, “Fire can go up here, there're branches over there.” he pointed behind Theo. He gave Theo a once over, swallowing, “Why don’t you get moving on the tent?” Liam felt restless again, his skin itching for Theo’s, for the scent.

 

“You got the fire?”

 

“Yep.”

 

By the time Liam had the fire stoked up big enough, Theo had the tent up too, just in time since the winds picked up a bit and an icy chill set in. Liam tossed the rest of their stuff into the tent, took Theo’s hand and ducked in as well.

 

* * *

 

 

Theo hardly had a chance to sit down before Liam crawled into his lap, lips attaching instantly, trailing his mouth down to the spot in Theo’s neck, inhaling so deep he got light headed. He tossed his head back and exhaled, red eyes settling back on Theo as he came to his senses again, “Right here…” he pressed his thumb into the spot, eyes following Theo’s tongue darting across his lips, “this is where you have me whipped.” He tilted Theo’s head to the side, pressing his nose to the spot again, caressing with soft licks until Theo shivered in his hold.

 

“I want you…” Theo whispered, nudging Liam’s jaw, eyes closed. His hands feeling up the taut planes of Liam’s back.

 

“Yeah?” Liam smiled down at him, “How?”

 

Theo’s hands slid down over his ass, “Just like this.” he pushed his hips forward so they rubbed together, “Exactly like this…”

 

Liam whined and took Theo’s face in his hands, kissing him, and honestly, he’d never get enough of that, he’d go the rest of his life attached to Theo’s lips, and that’d be totally fine with him too.

 

Theo begun lifting Liam’s sweater, he helped by pulling it over his head, Theo’s hands roamed all over him, warm and threatening to drive him insane. He hadn’t realise how close he actually was to losing his mind until those warm lips sealed around his nipple, sucking softly followed by gentle flicks of Theo’s tongue.

 

Liam shifted in Theo's lap, body arching in response to his mouth, “I need you…” he whispered, rushed, as he pushed his pants down “right now.” moaning when Theo's fingers teased up and down the slit of his ass.

 

“You sure you're fine with this?” Theo asked, giving Liam time to back out if he wanted to.

 

“Of course, I wanna know what it feels like too. Just go slow.” his heart already pounded with thoughts of Theo inside him.

 

“I promise.”

 

Liam reached for the lube, while Theo got undressed, helping Liam out of the rest of his clothes until it was only bare warm skin pressed together, heated by the slow crackling fire outside.

 

“Can you lay down here?” Theo patted the spot beside him, inching closer to Liam when he turned on his back. Theo scattered kisses down his chest, smiling at how Liam's body writhed under him in response, “You're sensitive…” he noted, teasing with open mouth kisses on the spots that made Liam squirm the most.

 

Theo coated his fingers with lube, “You ready?”

 

“Hmm,” Liam nodded, clutching Theo's bicep as he pushed in, delivering an instant burning pressure, “Oh god… come here…. Kiss me or something!” his voice sounded pretty shaky and his heart rang in his ears.

 

“Does it hurt?” Theo asked, snuggling close to Liam's face.

 

“No. Just… it's…”

 

“Intense”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“I got you. Relax okay? You did a great job at this yesterday. I took notes. Promise it’ll feel good.” he smiled warm and reassuring and Liam whispered a soft “okay," into his ear.

 

Theo snaked his arm in behind Liam's back so the alpha was in his arms, the other hand between his legs, lips either on his neck or his mouth. He moved the finger and hooked it up, stroking gently, and Liam moaned.

 

“How's that?”

 

“Amazing…” he swallowed, “add another one, keep doing that.”

 

Theo did, ripping a louder moan from Liam, blunt nails digging into his back, his body rippling under Theo, “Fuck you sound amazing… you _look_ amazing like this. So pretty.”

 

“Theo…” Liam's mind went blank, legs falling open once the pleasure hit and Theo really moved his hand. He'd tried it once, touching himself this way, but his own fingers were nothing compared to the perfect strokes of Theo's, he seemed to know just the way to touch. Maybe the difference was in the arms that held him.

 

“More…” because suddenly that wasn't enough, he needed more of Theo, of his hot burning fire in him, he needed it to consume him.

 

“Three? Liam are you sure??”

 

He fisted his hand in Theo's hair, “More! Please, please please please!?”

 

“Jesus Liam…” and he eased in another finger.

 

Liam groaned, body twisting at the extra stretch and the absolute hotness of three of Theo’s fingers moving in his body, making him feel like this.

 

“Liam… Liam lube me up, quickly, lube me up!”

 

Something in Theo's tone shot straight to his dick and he snaked his arm free, grabbing the lube, messily squirting it out into his palm and wrapping his hand around Theo's cock, stroking fast while Theo bucked into his hand.

 

“Oh fuck, Liam…” Theo tipped his head down on Liam's shoulder, biting at the skin, still working his fingers to stretch Liam open wider.

 

“Theo!”

 

Liam bit down on his lip, watching Theo scramble up with a furiously hungry look on his face, body slotting in between Liam's legs, fingers withdrawing as he locked eyes with Liam.

 

Everything shut down right there, except their hearts beating with want.

 

“I love you Liam.”

 

Liam nodded, body aching with anticipation, “Me too, I love you…” and with that Liam wrapped his legs around Theo’s waist and flipped them over so he sat in his lap again, Theo’s tip pressed to his entrance “You said you wanted it like this right?”

 

Theo hummed, fingers kneading deep into Liam’s hips, “Liam, please…”

 

Liam reached back, lined up and sat down gradually, “Oh fuck!” he steadied himself on Theo’s chest as the tip slipped in.

 

“It’s fine, that only burns for a few seconds… it’s fine… breathe.” Theo massaged his hips, encouraging him to move, “Come on, slowly little alpha… slowly.”

 

Liam slipped down lower, feeling the warm stretch of his body around Theo, head dropping, “Holy fuck…” 

 

“I know, I know. You okay?” Theo reached around, applying more lube.

 

“So, very very okay. You?”

 

“Are you kidding?” Theo chuckled sitting up, lowering Liam until he bottomed out, watching his face melt into pleasure, “This is probably the best thing in the world right now.”

 

Liam moved, clumsy and unsure, guided by Theo’s hands until he found a rhythm that worked, then he whispered, “Only right now?” because he wanted this forever, he wanted to feel alive like this until there was nothing left of him.

 

“Always Li. From now until forever is over.”

 

“Forever then.”

 

Liam rocked down slowly, his thighs spread over Theo’s, their bodies piecing together so perfectly that he was certain this was heaven or something even better. Theo filled him exactly right, and it didn't hurt, he wasn’t uncomfortable, everything just felt good, pleasure pulsing under his skin at every movement.

 

“Tell me again how much you love me.” Liam whispered as he rolled his hips, hands in Theo’s hair, lips brushing with each movement.

 

Theo smiled, without missing a beat, “To Colorado and back baby. Million times over.” pulling him down for a deep kiss just as light snow fell and the sky greyed out, tiny flecks of crystals splattered against the tent, almost matching the sound of their hearts beating.

 

Liam groaned and shifted closer, his hips circling faster, couldn’t help his head tipping back when he hit that incredible spot inside and saw stars, “Ah fuck… wow… did you also…”

 

Theo leaned back a little to take it in, this beautiful boy riding in his lap, “Yeah feels good huh? Like fireworks.”

 

Liam looked back at him, hands coming down to Theo’s face, stroking over his open lips, gasping with pleasure as he moved, “You are so beautiful like this, you always are, but _this_ … this is my favourite. Even tops sleepy Theo.”

 

“Sleepy Theo huh?” he asked breathlessly, gripping hard onto Liam’s hip at a particular perfect thrust.

 

“Yeah, you should see him… so soft,” Liam groaned out in pleasure from the firm pressure of Theo’s big hand on him, “ _Oh god_ …. this feels fucking good! Uhm, can you… squeeze harder?? Here,” he pressed down on Theo’s hand and this time _he_ blushed. There was something about the solid feeling of the right amount of pressure on his body that drove him crazy, and Theo did it just right.

 

Theo looked up at him, “Like this?” rather amused, tightening his grip around Liam’s hip and thigh until the skin turned white, denting under his fingers and he felt bone.

 

“Holy shit yes, just like that…” his movements sped up, almost getting sloppy but never relenting, determined to come at precisely this pace, with Theo holding him steady the way he was now, “It’ll leave a mark… don’t stop.”

 

Theo squeezed harder, moaning, kissing Liam.

 

“I’m close Theo.” Liam whispered, against the beta’s wet lips, hips rolling like something insane, fast, hitting his prostate over and over.

 

“Then let’s come.” Theo’s other hand came up, wrapping around the back of Liam’s neck, tight and firm, the other one on his hip holding him still, and then he leaned back against the rock wall and snapped up hard into Liam, sending them both into a spiral of moans.

 

“Jerk yourself off.”

 

Liam whined at the raspy demand but fisted his dick and jerked while Theo thrust into him, feeling the burn in his thighs and belly, his body bouncing wildly and straining in Theo’s solid grip.

 

“Come Liam…. come for me.”

 

“Theo!”

 

“Come on…”

 

“Fuck!” Liam felt his eyes turn crimson and curled around Theo, coming hard just like Theo asked, with his face buried in Theo’s neck, mouth open against his pulse- there where it smelled like love. “Theo… fuck, baby,” and then, at the whimper of his name Theo spilled over the edge too, cheeks burning hot, and with a roar that sounded out into the canyon.

 

Liam’s certain he was half sleep when Theo pulled out slowly and lifted him onto the mattress, that’s all he remembered, that and the electric blue eyes coming closer to plant a soft kiss on his forehead, “You’re perfect,” Theo whispered before tugging the blanket up over them and tangling himself up with Liam.

 

“You like being held in place huh…” Liam could feel the smirk, didn’t even have to open his eyes.

 

“Shut up. You blush when you come.”

 

“Fucking bossy bottom.”

 

“When… _if,_ I ever regain use of my limbs, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

 

Theo laughed, swung his arm and a leg over Liam, stroking back his hair, “It’s hot.” He whispered and Liam smiled, “I like it.”

 

“ _You’re_ hot…” he mumbled back before drifting off, “And I more than like you.”

* * *

 

 

Liam stood on the edge of the rock platform, watching the snowflakes glittering into the water, peaceful rustles of grass filled the air and the fire still crackled behind him when Theo joined him, sleepy and warm, both fully dressed again.  

 

Theo snaked his hands up under Liam’s sweater, locking them around the alpha and kissed the shell of his ear. His scent coiled around Liam and he turned his head to nuzzle into Theo’s neck, inhaling deep. _Pack. Mine._ But still he felt like there was something missing, the wolf was right, that scent was distinctly his… Theo’s technically, but _his_ and he knew because he’d start a war for this man, for that smell _._ Theo was his, just not in any way he could prove. Until…

 

“You know this neck thing you've got going…”

 

Liam shuffled kind of uncomfortably, shrugging, “It’s weird I know… but you smell so good.”

 

“It's more than that Liam.” Theo snuggled his face into Liam's neck.

 

“Yeah. Tell me about it. I'm like a junkie…”

 

“Your wolf's trying to claim me.”

 

Theo must have sensed Liam tensing because he rubbed soothingly up and down his arms before pulled away, “It's okay you know. If that's what you wanna do. I'm okay with that. I’d like that.”

 

“I… don't even know what that… how do you claim someone?”

 

“You'll know when the time’s right.” and then he kissed his cheek and jogged back to the fire, flopping down beside it, “Come snuggle with me!”

 

“You're a dork when you're in love!” Liam shouted back, smiling, watching as Theo threw the blanket over his head mumbling something about being a total badass, “Be right there, killer.”

 

 

“Hey, come on, share the blanket.” Liam tapped him lightly until he lifted it to let Liam in, “Thanks.” He smiled, looking into the clear green of Theo’s eyes, “Theo… earlier, when I said forever. I meant that. I never want to be alone again.”

 

Not now that he knew what it was like to have someone run to the ends of the earth just to hold you, what it felt like to find the rest of your heart. Alone was no longer an option. “If you’ll have me, I want this forever.” He gestured to where Theo’s arms were wrapped around his body.

 

“Li, it hurts to know you’ve been without someone to hold you like this, someone to care. And I wish I found you sooner. But I already told you, I’ll never leave you.” His voice soft and full of promise.

 

Liam smiled stiffly, remembering how used to the loneliness he had become, and how Theo showed up just in time, “I don’t want to remember what it was like without you here. It was a nightmare I want to forget.”

 

“We’ll forget together little alpha. You and me. You’re not alone anymore, neither am I.”

 

Liam nodded, his head on Theo’s shoulder, eyes stinging with tears. Happy ones this time, grateful tears. He sighed, “When do you want to go back?” It was an inevitable conversation they needed to have, and he wasn’t ready by any means, still scared to face the ruins of his past, but at least he wouldn’t have to do it by himself.

 

Theo stayed quiet for a while, and like he knew what Liam’s heart wanted, he said, “Nah, we’ll stay a while longer. Maybe much longer.” And he smiled kissing Liam’s temple as the alpha sighed in relief.

 

“My only condition is that we fix that cabin up. Like nail the roof down or something. I reckon we can make that place look real nice. Yeah?”

 

“That can totally happen. I’d love to see you shirtless and sweaty in blue jeans with a hammer. I’ll bring you lemonade in my underwear.”

 

“You’re so gay.”

 

“You know what’s gay? This…” and then he fell back, pulling Theo down, giggling when Theo tickled him, spoiling his neck with kisses, warm and loving and happy. And safe.

 

They sat down a while later to eat, pulling out the bread rolls and odd little snacks Theo had tossed in there. Liam had the great idea of toasting the rolls on the fire, but he burnt his to a crisp instead.

 

“I’m not sharing with you.”

 

“Theo please? Look at this thing. I can’t eat this.”

 

“Sounds like a you problem. My buns are perfect.”

 

Liam smirked dumbly at him.

 

“Stop that!” but Theo laughed anyway, breaking half of his toasted golden brown roll off and holding it out to Liam, making sure their fingers brushed when the alpha took it.

 

“Okay…” Theo broke off, “Tell me.”

 

“Tell you what?” Liam chewed off a bite.

 

“Whatever’s putting that frowny look on your face, the one you get when you think too much.”

 

Obviously nothing would slip by Theo, obviously he’d be in tune to every single emotion Liam felt. He inhaled, mind searching for the right words, “You said… _we_ said forever right.”

 

“Yeah…” Theo swallowed hard like Liam was about to deliver horrible news.

 

“I mean I know what I want, and what this damn persistent wolf wants. We want you. But…”

 

“You’re unsure?”

 

Liam shook his head frantically, “God no. No. I’ve never been more sure of anything. It’s just, you… you’ve never been with anyone else… how do you know? How do you know it’s me? That your forever looks like this?”  he motioned down to himself, taking a steadying breath.

 

Theo took the last bite of his roll, dusted his hands and turned to Liam. He glanced up, noticed that the sky had darkened above them. When he looked back at Liam, he shifted his eyes to blue and Liam’s responded with red. Like a call that demanded and answer.

 

“That night when I realised you were gone and I wasn’t going to find you anytime soon. There was this death grip around my stupid stolen heart.” he looked down, “worse than when she takes it.”

 

“Theo…”

 

He held up his hand, quieting Liam, “And I thought to myself, what the fuck is wrong with you, get it together. I tried to come up with something logical to do, tried to ignore this burn in my chest… ‘coz I didn’t know what it was.”

 

“What was it?” Liam slipped his hands into Theo’s, squeezing tight.

 

“Love. Heartbreak. Both. But I realised then that I loved you. And I mean, it sounded so… I don’t know. I’ve never loved anyone in that way. Never thought I would, until I was leaning up against a tree trying to remember how to breathe, trying to swallow back stupid tears while my brain screamed at me to go after you. To just run. Like suddenly I felt like screaming because you didn’t know I loved you, and then you were gone...” the electric blue of his eyes shimmered with those same tears, and one spilled down his cheek.

 

“Don’t cry please” Liam whispered, “I’m sorry.”  and he dried the wet trail with his sleeve.

 

“I found you because of what’s in here,” he placed Liam’s hand over his heart, “I’m alive because I love you, because what I felt for you was strong enough to bring me here, to you. Even if it took forever.”

 

Liam’s own eyes, still red and glowing in the dark, filled with tears, “To Colorado and back right?” he tried for a smile but his face just broke out in a full cry. So much love right in front of him, all he would ever need to survive, all he had been craving for two years, and Theo gave it all to him.

 

Theo crawled up on his knees, settling close to Liam, cupped his pretty face - beautiful even when he cried, possibly the most beautiful - “Yeah, so believe me when I say I love you more. You’re the one Li. The only one.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Theo lifted his chin, “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Liam nodded, “I love you.” eyes dropping to Theo’s lips before kissing him. He’d let Theo love him like this, with all of him because he seemed so totally happy doing it and he decided a while ago that happiness was a good look on Theo.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, I announce the end guys. I'm a little emotional about it. This story actually turned into something huge when it was only supposed to be an angsty one shot. (I'm sure Sofia was involved) It was the one fic I had very little trouble writing. The words just came, my first ever slow burn, and the one I put most thought into. I'm honestly proud of it and I'm so happy to have been able to share it with all of you guys. 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments, kudos, the bookmarks and ideas and all the pretty art you guys have done for this fic. Thank you, most of all, for reading!!! Hope you enjoy, one last time! 
> 
> Xoxo  
> Sammy.
> 
> (smut is indicated with an asterisk for those who want to skip)

They ended up shifting into their wolves. The night had just gotten too cold, even for werewolves, to endure. Snow had fallen thick during the night and winds had picked up. Was it not for the shelter of the rocks, their tent wouldn’t have made it.

 

Their bodies curled snuggly into one another, one black and one white ball of fur in the nest they’d made of the blanket and their clothes. Only their cold wet snouts sticking out. When the birds began chirping outside, Theo lifted his head and his ears twitched. He nudged at Liam, earning a timid growl. He wasn’t much of a morning person, wolf or human.

 

Liam curled back into himself when Theo lazed out of the nest, shaking his body. He stretched out and yawned, nails scraping the tent floor. He let the shift take over and bring back his human form, feeling Liam’s eyes on him as smooth skin replaced soft black fur, electric blue eyes changing to green again. When he was back to human Theo, he turned and faced Liam, sitting down.

 

“Hey fluffy… time to wake up.” he patted his thighs, beckoning the white wolf closer.  Liam grumbled and turned his head away, making Theo chuckle, “Come on, you’re on my sweater, it’s cold like this…” He watched the alpha uncurl like it was the world's biggest chore.

 

Liam sat up, eyes still heavy. He carefully nipped Theo’s sweatshirt between his teeth and dragged it over to him, dropping it in his lap. His huge body came to stand in front of Theo, a few inches higher than eye level. Red meeting green.

 

Theo stuck his hand out, raking through the wolf’s silky white fur, “Thanks boy,” he teased, amused at Liam’s disgruntled groans at the name. But still, Liam sat down and leaned into his hand, asking for more scratches and Theo obliged.

 

“You’re really pretty like this, you know. And soft.” he smiled when Liam’s tail wagged behind him, swooping across the floor, “We should just shift and stay like this forever, run around in the woods. Catch bunnies.”

 

The wolf growled quietly, peering up at Theo.

 

“You don’t wanna kill the bunnies?”

 

Liam huffed, tilted his head up and nudged at Theo’s jaw with his cold nose.

 

“Okay. Fine, we won’t kill the bunnies.” Theo took the wolf’s large head in his hands and placed a kiss on its snout, right on the brown patch, “Vegetarian wolves are a thing right?” he smiled catching Liam’s eyes, and they were endearing and loving - exactly how Liam looked at him in human form too - his tail still wagging lazily behind him.

 

“Come on big boy. Shift back now. We probably need to get going before this storm picks up.” Theo wanted to check the weather outside but waited to see Liam shift. It was still the most magical thing to see an alpha do that… or maybe it was just this one specific alpha.

 

Liam growled from low in his chest, dropped his head, muscles tensing in his shoulder. He’d been reluctant the night before too, but Theo stayed with him, talked him through it.

 

“It’s okay. I’m here, I promised you I’d never leave you. You can do this.” and combed Liam's fur in long soothing strokes down his sides. 

 

The wolf made a soft purring sound, an acknowledgement of Theo’s words, and lifted his paw to Theo’s palm. The beta to took it - it was huge, more than half of his palm full - and said, “Okay? Now go ahead.”

 

A thick snarl rumbled out, Liam’s eyes erupted into a glowing red and his bones cracked. One after the other, hiding the wolf beneath his cream colored skin again. Until human Liam, on his knees and eyes still blazing, appeared.

 

“Hey little alpha,” Theo smiled, his eyes fixed on Liam.

 

Liam sighed breathless and rough, “Hey killer.”

 

“Fuck you’re gorgeous.”

 

Liam surged forward, kissing Theo and pushing him back then straddled his lap, “I will  _ never _ kill a bunny, not even for you. But I’ll pretty much annihilate anything else that comes near you.” he rocked down, rubbing himself down on Theo’s hip.

 

“That’s uh… that’s good to know.” Theo said, trying to rather to focus on whatever Liam was getting at, but his legs fell open anyway, head tilting back. He wanted Liam in his neck, wanted to feel his heart pound so hard it vibrated all the way through to his own ribs when Liam inhaled his scent.

 

“Good. Just so we’re clear.” Liam kissed him again then dragged his lips over Theo’s, down his chin, nudging it up and to the side, finally nosing at his spot, “Hmm” he rubbed his thumb over the vein, hips still grinding down on Theo.

 

Theo’s hand tangled in Liam’s hair and he pulled him closer, pressing his mouth harder into his neck and Liam opened his mouth against it, licking softly. His one hand squeezing Theo’s thigh, god he loved his thighs… maybe it was time to pay them a visit.

 

“You can tell me to stop.” he said looking up to see Theo smiling,  nodding then shifted lower, kissing a trail down the middle on Theo’s chest, nosing at the thin spread of hairs below his navel, he inhaled, and that smelled kind of great too.

 

*****

 

Tilting his head, he attached his lips to the inside of Theo’s thigh and sucked softly. One hand tugged at Theo’s dick and the other massaged slow circles into his hip.

 

“Suck harder…” Theo whimpered, body squirming a little in Liam’s grip, so Liam hollowed his cheeks and pulled the skin between his teeth hard enough to leave a mark, and sucked. When he pulled off, the skin turned a pretty purple, still wet and Theo lifted his head to see. “Perfect.” he smiled, bit his lip and fell back again.

 

Liam was beginning to understand what this wolf in him wanted. He stared, fixated on his teeth marks and the bruise he made on Theo’s skin. He did that and Theo liked it. Asked for it even, and Liam’s wolf was restless and urgent in the back if his head, begging him to make that mark permanent. And he would not let him go without it for much longer.

 

He guessed if this was going to happen, it should be in some way special, meaningful. Maybe while they made love.

 

So, he sat up and got hold of the lube and began opening Theo up, fingers sliding in smoothly, watching the beta’s body for signs of more- like when he writhed or bucked down into Liam’s hand, how his claws ripped into the material beneath him. Liam crawled back up, needing to kiss him, swallow his moans. And he wasn't trying to silence him, it was just a matter of tasting what the hell made Theo Raeken sound like heaven to his ears, like maybe it tasted exactly that way too. He wasn't wrong.

 

“Liam please… faster.” breathless, desperate. Beautiful.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

 

“You won’t, you won’t. Please?” And then Theo grabbed Liam’s hand and guided his movements until they were exactly at the pace he wanted, “Fuck…”

 

Liam moved pretty fast, two fingers deep in Theo, already feeling the muscle soften and stretch around his hand, “Warning…” he smiled and then hooked his finger up, padding over the sensitive spot, ripping another incredible moan from Theo’s already raspy throat.

 

“Liam… I’m… wait!” but it was too late. Liam jerked him perfectly, his fingers moving just right, he was never going to last, “Oh…. god.”

 

Liam watched him come apart, body twitching, thighs clamping around Liam, his face pure bliss. His name repeated like a broken record until Theo’s body went slack. Cheeks bright pink, begging to be kissed.

 

“Baby,” Liam whispered against Theo’s warm cheek, coarse stubble scratching his lips, “You’re… you’re fucking perfect. I’ll never stop telling you that Theo. Exactly my kind of perfect.” he grinned watching the blush intensify.

 

Theo pulled him closer, wrapping his legs around Liam’s hips and his arms around his shoulders so Liam’s dick lined up to his entrance, “Now come on.” he said and then kissed the alpha slow and deep.

 

“Come on what?” he asked pulling his hips back from where Theo tried pulling him closer.

 

“Come on and fuck me? Or what did you wanna do?”

 

“You just came…”

 

“And?”

 

Liam smiled, bright as the sun, “Jesus, I love you!” he kissed him and pulled back only to lube up again, “You sure? Not too sensitive? I don’t have to…”

 

“This true werewolf healing is fucking magical Liam. So, thanks for that.” Theo winked at him, lips curling up in a devilish smile.

He slid in easily, slowly, giving Theo’s body time to adjust. Liam dropped his head to Theo’s neck, scenting him. He smelled excited and happy, all swirled together in a very distinct sweetness that Liam now identified as love.

 

Liam loved all of this, their whole dynamic- him being held down but also taking control when he wanted it back, Theo’s submission and the subtle ways he begged for more or for Liam to go faster, by squeezing his thighs around Liam’s waist, demanding what he wanted. It all just worked.

 

“Okay… I’m fine…” Theo’s hand came up to Liam’s face, stroking his jaw, “You can move.” and when Liam did, Theo tipped his head back, giving him full access to his neck.

 

The alpha growled low, body moving faster, every single nerve on high alert. Theo looked up at him in that way that just kind of froze everything around them until all they could hear were the ways their hearts stuttered.

 

“Liam…” Theo breathed out, trying to keep his eyes from falling shut with the pleasure.

 

His name just sounded so right leaving Theo’s mouth so he drove harder into Theo, wanting him to sound like this even more, desperate and almost needy, just to see the way Theo's body bounced because of him, how vulnerable he let himself be with Liam.

 

Theo lifted his hips to deepen the angle, trying to pull Liam closer than he already was, “Liam!”

 

Liam thrust harder, whispered raggedly into the curve of Theo's neck, “I love when you say my name like that…” and then a little more hesitantly, “say it again?”

 

The need in him - the one to make Theo his - grew stronger and harder to ignore as his orgasm approached. His wolf wanted this, he wanted his mate, and he was tired of holding off. Because there was really no reason to…

 

“Theo, baby…. I, I need...” his back tingled, thighs clenching, fangs already dropping in an effort to hold back his orgasm and he hummed frustratedly against Theo’s skin. His restraint weakening with every move, every breath, every lungful of Theo he inhaled.

 

So, when Theo looked up at him, his eyes killer blue, and said “ _ Alpha. _ ” raspy and low, Liam snapped and growled, tugged on Theo's hair to expose his neck and dove down, sinking his sharp fangs into Theo's neck, exactly into that spot, and then he came with a loud sob, shaking. Hard, blinding and enveloped in Theo in every way.

 

Theo roared in response, his dick twitching as Liam kept fucking him. In that moment Liam, still coming and whimpering and biting down on Theo, urgently lifted Theo’s head and pressed it to the dip between his neck and shoulder, urging him to bite too.

 

And because there was nothing he wanted more Theo closed his eyes, shifted, and just as he sunk his fangs into Liam and tasted him, he came too. His moans muffled and wet and bordering on a cry as Liam’s scent and blood filled his mouth, cheeks flushing redder than ever before.

*****

 

Just like that their broken parts pieced intricately and wonderfully into one another until they were somewhat whole again. One. No longer alone. Their hearts asked, stay, and their souls replied, always- until their roads came to an end and the skies above them ran empty. Maybe even after that. Maybe in every universe they'd ever find themselves in.

 

It was safe to say Liam had never done anything like that before so he wasn’t sure at what point he should withdraw, if the wound would heal and what the point of all that was if it just closed up... would it always sting like a bitch?

 

He groaned softly and moved an inch, waiting for Theo to take the lead. Upon that Theo swallowed and held Liam’s shoulders in place as he carefully retracted the fangs, exhaling, “Hold off on the healing. Don’t trigger it just yet.” he said, “You can pull off now, slowly.”

 

Theo’s stroked Liam’s hair as the alpha slipped the fangs out, breathless. He met Theo’s eyes, flashed them a brief scarlet then smiled, “Hey…”

 

His beta grinned back, mouth bloody, “Hi.”

 

Theo looked spent and Liam was pretty gone too, head swimming in blissful chaos, all Liam could do was lay still on top of Theo, still in him. Feeling every inch of skin tingle where it touched and his wolf purring softly in tune with Theo's.

 

The bite mark tingled in Liam’s neck and he burned to know what the mark on Theo looked like, his mark, so he tilted his head to the side and even through the blood he saw the deep holes his fangs had left in his beta’s neck. The scent even more prominent now than it was before, but Liam’s wolf felt somewhat calmer knowing it was now only his. He'd left the mark to prove it.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

Theo didn’t answer so Liam pulled back to look at him, found his green eyes wet with tears. His stomach dropped, this was not how he wanted it to go at all, Theo wasn’t supposed to cry.

 

“Oh no... no no no, I’m sorry! No Theo, god I shouldn’t have…”

 

“Liam!”

 

Liam stared back, heart racing. If he hurt Theo - if he did this and it’s wasn’t really what Theo wanted - he’d never forgive himself for something like that.

 

“Liam. I’m happy you dork. I’m  _ happy _ .”

 

“Happy tears?”

 

“Happy tears baby.” He held Liam’s face in his hands, bringing him down for a soft kiss.

 

Liam whispered “Mine” softly against his lips, certain it was more the wolf than him, and Theo confirmed with the softest and surest “Yours”.

 

“I love you Liam Dunbar, with all my heart.”

 

Liam sort of understood now why Theo had been crying, his own eyes pooling, “Yeah. Me too. I love you.” Liam nudged their noses together, “For as long as I'm breathing, probably longer,” he smiled, “but always with all of me.”

 

“As much as I want to stay right here, like this, I want a hot cup of coffee much more. And some clothes would be nice. I’m freezing.”

 

He was, Liam felt his skin grow cold even between the heat of their bodies, “Yeah, okay.” He slipped out and cleaned them up, blushing a bit when Theo admired how careful he was being around his sensitive areas, “What??”

 

“You’re cute when you’re being all alpha-y”

 

Fuck, Theo looked so gorgeous like this, cheeks still flushed, hair a mess, his big arms stretched behind his head, “I’m gonna show you just how alpha-y I can be, come on.” he pulled Theo up, “Hands up.”

 

Liam began pulling Theo’s sweatshirt on, kissing his nose when his head popped through the collar. Theo snorted. “Feet.” Liam said, and Theo lifted his feet for Liam to pull the pants over his legs, raising his hips to get them over his butt, but not before the alpha placed a soft kiss on his hip bone.

 

“I didn’t say  _ you _ needed to put clothes on,” Theo said when Liam reached for his own pants, he grinned and blushed a little too, “I like you like this.”

 

“With a frozen dick?”

 

“At least it’ll be hard…”

 

Liam snorted really hard, and to anyone who didn’t look at him with eyes full of love it would probably have been really unattractive, but Theo’s smile was fond, his gaze never leaving the alpha.

 

They packed up, wrestled with the tent for a good five minutes, before heading back up the mountain but the winds had gotten stronger and that was more of a task than they had expected.

 

“Where the fuck did these winds come from??” Liam shouted over his shoulder, face and clothes damp with sleet. His pants clung to his legs uncomfortably wet, he just wanted to get back to the cabin and start up a nice fire and hold this cute boy while dozing off in front of it. This wet cold nonsense wasn't for him.

 

“This looks like more than just winds Liam.  Let’s get moving. It’s gonna storm, and by the looks of it, pretty hard too.”

 

The sky had gotten dark, and the snow fell harder, thick grey clouds bundled above them letting out rumble after rumble. If they waited any longer they’d get stuck on the side of the mountain, unable to get back for who knows how long.

 

So, Liam sprinted even if his thighs burned doing it, pulling Theo behind him, just to be sure he didn’t lose him and it wan't long before their cabin came into view.

 

“Hi Steve!!

 

“Hi Steve!”

 

They darted up the steps just in time for thick balls of hail to plummet down, it sounded far more catastrophic on the tin roof than it was. Although, when Liam peered out the window, it looked pretty grim too. Once again Liam felt the urge to just bring Steve inside, but he wasn’t about to touch a spider.

 

“Hey, what would I have to do for you to bring Stevie inside for me?” Liam tried.

 

Theo’s forehead creased up, “Are you serious?”

 

“He’ll freeze… or get blown away.”

 

“I don’t think Steve’s going anywhere Liam. He’s fine. He likes his pack.” Theo came up behind him, already changed in dry clothes, “Come on, get dressed and I’ll start the fire, okay?”

 

He was still uneasy, something inside wasn’t settling right, a coil in his stomach where previously there had only been excitement and happiness. But he went back to the room and changed, bringing their wet clothes out to hang in front of the fire.

 

The hail pelted down hard on the tin roof, echoing clangs of metal that only added to Liam’s anxiety. He was about to turn and ask Theo if he can make them coffee when the wind swept over harshly tearing the already loose roof corner open further. Liam’s head whipped to Theo, eyes wide, because he knew what was about to happen.

 

They stared at each other, frozen, waiting. Liam heard the next bout of wind build up, whistling as it came closer and then with a forceful yank it peeled more of the roof off, letting the storm inside to wreak havoc.

 

“Theo??”

 

“Liam, come on, get out!”

 

He was stuck, couldn’t move, he felt Theo pulling him outside, felt the hail like tiny bullets against his body all while watching the wind tug relentlessly at the roof. His tiny little cabin’s roof. He watched it flip like a piece of paper in the storm, and it didn't take much after that. One final gust wrenched the entire roof right off sending it barreling to the woods.

 

“Oh god… Theo? What…”

 

Theo’s arms came out in front of Liam’s body, as if he knew the alpha was about to save the carnage. And he did, he bolted forward but Theo pulled him back, “Liam no!”   
  
  


“My house!!? Theo! It’s gonna…. Theo!!!”

 

“Liam, stop!! The walls, look!”

 

Only, he didn't want to look, he didn’t have to, he knew the walls were wobbling, shaking. He could hear the wood cracking, coming undone. Liam knew that if two strong wolves barely managed to stay on their feet, this flimsy wood shelter wasn't going make it in a storm like this.

 

“No… no. I can’t…” He flinched as one wall suddenly caved in, clattering down into his cabin, into the kitchen.

 

“Fuck…” is all Theo said while holding Liam back as the opposite wall surrendered to the same fate but this one was far more painful as Liam realised what it had taken down with it.

 

“Steve!!!! No!!! Steve! Stop!!” he begged and screamed and tried to get free from Theo’s hold. Tears frozen on his face as he pleaded for his little friend’s life… while holding onto shreds of his own.  

 

“Theo!! Let me go!!!” His voice broke off, hands clawing at Theo’s, desperate to still try to save what he could, even if he knew it was a futile attempt. His heart sank watching another wall collapse, and he sobbed loudly, “Let me go... let me fix it…” defeated and broken, "Let me go..." 

 

“No. Never.” He wrapped himself around Liam and nuzzled his face to Liam's back as the alpha screamed and fought in his hold, his arms wrapped tightly around Liam's middle.

 

How could Theo expect him to stand by and watch his life get ripped apart??  _ Your old life Liam. The one he saved you from.  _ Who was he without this cabin? What the hell was he supposed to do without it??  _ You are your own. A wolf. An alpha. You survive. _

 

The winds ripped through everything, finally bringing it all to the ground until there was only a heap of wood and rubble left before them. The cabin gone.... Steve gone. Their memories in there buried under ruins before he even had a chance to imprint them all. He assumed they’d always just be there-  sleepy Theo’s face on the pillow beside him. Angry Theo that very first morning in the lounge. Soft Theo washing his hair in the shower. The window where they saw their new eyes for the first time. The spot in the kitchen where Theo kissed him...

 

Liam sunk down to his knees taking Theo with him, but Theo held him tight until the storm settled, and it settled quickly as if all it came there to do was break Liam’s heart, rip it straight from his chest.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Theo turned Liam around to face him, cradling his head to his chest, “It will be okay.” he repeated.

 

All Liam could do was cry, sob hysterically, and Theo must have known just how Liam felt because he didn’t tell him to stop.

 

“Theo…”

 

“I’m so sorry…”

 

Deep inside Liam knew what this all meant even if he wasn’t ready to face it. He knew he was holding off on the inevitable that he couldn’t stay on that mountain forever as much as he wanted to. This was not his home. It would always be one of the biggest parts of Liam, it’s where he lost but also found himself again. Where he found love - for himself and for someone else - and that’s something not even the wildest storm could take from him. But it wasn’t home, and perhaps it was finally time to go back now.

 

Theo carefully turned Liam’s head to him, away from the mess, his other hand coming up to wipe the tears that still fell down his cheeks, “Hey, are you okay?”

 

Liam shook his head. God will he ever be okay?

 

“Liam, look, I know this is hard. I can’t imagine how this must feel…”

 

“Hurts… it hurts.” Liam said honestly, eyes closed.

 

“I know baby.” he kissed his forehead, “Guess we’re going back now, huh?”

 

“We can build another one…” Liam tried, laughing weakly.

 

Theo hugged him, “Or… we can move on. Build a whole other life together, hmm? Maybe add a dog or a kitten and warm water?”

 

“We had warm water up here…”

 

“Once. We also had magical pasta, but that doesn't mean we should stay here Li.”

 

But they also had each other, and that was more than what Liam could ever ask for, “I know.”

 

Theo helped him up, led Liam over to rock while he searched through the debris for whatever they could use and for that Liam couldn’t be more thankful- the last thing he felt like doing was rummage through the ruins of his life as he knew it. He watched Theo pull out the duffle bag from under a piece of wood, a few pieces of clothing and his wallet - probably most importantly as they’d need to buy a bus ticket or something to get back home.

 

Theo moved over to where the kitchen used to be and knelt down, came walking over to Liam shortly after with something small in his hands.

 

“Here. Think we should keep this.”

 

Theo held out the ear of their coffee mug to Liam and bitter sweet tears rolled again. He’d take that with him, one of the first things they shared. He remembers that morning clearly, how Theo’s eyes twinkled and how his hands wrapped around Liam’s, and how even then, Liam knew those were the hands he wanted touching him forever.

 

“Liam…”

 

“Hmm?”

 

Theo lifted his chin up and Liam realised light snow had started falling as he watched a delicate flake balance on his nose, “We’re gonna be fine little alpha. As much as this sucks… we’re gonna be just fine. Promised I’d never leave you, that still stands. Okay?”

 

How did he always know what to say to keep Liam from crumbling? How was Theo the most perfect thing to ever happen to Liam?

 

“Yeah. Okay.” Liam stood up, took a few things from Theo, and looked back at what used to be his home. He knew deep down that ‘home’ had stopped being a cabin on a mountain and had instead become a place in another boy’s heart.

 

“We’ll always have this mountain right?”

 

“We’ll always have this mountain little alpha.”

 

Wherever they chose to call home, this here between them, would always be the core of it. As long as they had each other they had everything.

 

* * *

 

The old man's bones snapped back into place as he straightened out, wood and debris tumbling down his back. He carefully stepped out of the rubble that was a little wolf's cabin until a few devastating minutes ago. He walked to the side of the mountain where the young wolves had disappeared off to, and smiled. He could still see them, trekking downward, hands entwined like their souls had become.

 

He'd seen many rare and beautiful things in his lifetime, but nothing compared to the love between two broken souls. How they held one another up when their own legs could barely stand. Because ultimately, what has been broken can be mended again, mostly by love and partly through strength… and what is desolate will always prosper again, usually into something more beautiful than what it was before.

 

He saw the wide open splits of Liam’s heart and how the love began growing there again, how hands just as broken and bloody  as his own came and held it where it hurt the most.

 

‘Steve’ is what the little wolf called him, ‘friend’ too. The old man carried that title proudly, a friend of a true warrior. He’d see him one day again and thank him in person for his company. But for now, the little wolf needed to return to his pack, to lead them and make peace with his life to some extent, like he had made peace with his red eyes and the wolf in him.

 

“Farewell children of the wolves.” he nodded, disappearing just as Liam turned and looked back.

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Hm? Nothing. Probably Steve…. he’s fine right?” _

 

_ “Of course it’s Steve. He’s fine. He’s a badass.”   _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this mountain always glows for you  
> Here under the yellow moon  
> I hope that love will keep you safe, dear wolf  
> I hope to see you soon.


End file.
